[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

I had been stabbed and could feel my life blood running out of the wound. More goblins were pouring into the room as the plucky Kobolds' defence crumbled under the onslaught. I looked to back away from my assailant but the corridor behind me was a press of bodies.

With nowhere to go I took the only sensible option and blasted the goblin that had stabbed me in the face with a Ray of Frost.

Ray of Frost to the face of the goblin nearest

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Bob fires his spell point-blank into the face of his assailant, striking her with maximum force. The ice-rimed features of the twice-frozen goblin begin to crack and ooze.

9 damage

Gabe at bat

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf gritted his teeth and began to stomp forward, glancing down as he picked up his throwing hammer, only to see Argumentus beginning to stir.

"How ya feeling kid? You don't look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark" he commented, turning towards the sounds of battle and readying his axe.

"That's two you owe me, Junior" he called out as he entered the fry, letting fly with his new axe and his new battle cry.

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Move next to table picking up throwing axe on the way
Bolstering Strike on Goblin A

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Having not quite adjusted to his new axe's remarkable lack of heft, Gabriel's swing cuts through the air significantly higher than would have been useful.

Conveniently, his target shows a comparable ineptitude with the spear.

The second goblin continues its attempts to finish off the stirge, also unsuccessfully.

The third goblin charges into Gabriel, unsparingly spearing him with her spear.

6 damage

The fourth goblin flanks Gabriel on the left, jamming yet another spear into his ribs.

3 damage, Gabriel HP 21/ Surges 11

Fescue at bat

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Ahem. Yes, well.

Fescue steps away from the determined-to-remain-prone fighter, flanking the headstrong but frosty goblin. The sneak attack drives his dagger through the goblin's throat, and it crumples to the floor.

18 damage, goblin killed.

Argumentus at bat.

M

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Argumentus stands from prone
Argumentus readies action, if enemy enters square adjacent to Argumentus, strike with Reaping Strike

How ya doing, buddy?

Still in no hurry to rush back into the meat grinder, Argumentus patiently waits for the enemy to come to him.

The last remaining stirge lunges for Fescue, who's spent the last few moments liberally transforming nearby creatures into comedy blood fountains. The monster latches onto Fescue's arm, which he begins to slap into the wall violently.

3 damage

Motsognir at bat

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Motsognir was sick and tired of the giant mosquitoes. The goblins could wait.

Step forward
Viper's Strike on Stirge

FELIPE NO

Try as he might, Motsognir couldn't quite line up a chop that wouldn't take Fescue's arm along with it.

An axe-wielding goblin clad in a headdress of bone and feathers is sprinting westward through the hall, but pauses in the doorway. Whatever he was up to, killin' seems to be more important to him.

New round; Bob 19, Goblins 18, Argumentus 17, Motsognir 15, Goblin Skullcleaver 14, Stirge 12, Fescue 12, Gabriel 5

Bob at bat

M

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The blood loss from the spear wound was makng me dizzy and I struggled to focus my thoughts. Spots clouded my vision and I was beset by a terrible headache. I dropped my wand and drew my staff to steady myself.

I saw the goblins in front of me and gathered my will, thinking a cloud of daggers would slow them sufficiently. I mouthed the incantation but to my chagrin, nothing happened. I tried again, and again, panicing now as the pain in my head grew worse and my eyes clouded further. With one last desperate act of will, I flung my arm forward and roared my defiance at the green-skinned beasts.

At that moment I felt as though my whole body was on fire. Eldritch energy coursed through me and sparks and wisps of smoke issued from my robes. My hair was standing on end and I thought it might burst into flames at any minute. I raised my staff in front of me and saw that the skin on the back of my hand was glowing with barely suppressed power. Was this the same power that had caused me to raise my companions from the dead? Had my mysterious magicks come to the surface in this, our hour of need?

Suddenly, my eyes cleared and the pain was gone. I felt calm and marvelled at the new power streaming through my being. Raising my head, I surveyed the room with baleful eyes. I stared down one of the goblins and gave a low chuckle, these creatures were doomed, they just didn't know it yet.

I lifted my hand, palm raised in a short sharp gesture and a maelstrom of flame erupted in the midst of the goblins, searing their flesh from their very bones. I laughed out loud as the flames died down, surveying the carnage my new powers had wrought on our enemies.

Drop wand, equip staff, Scorching Burst one square west of Goblin B

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Flames burst from the floor around the doorway. The goblins writhe in the torment of the flames, broiled alive in the endless agony of the — well, it hurts them a little.

6 damage to each goblin in burst. Stirge dodges.

Smoldering slightly, Goblin B does her best to put a spear through the bestirged Fescue — and utterly fails.

Goblin C fails equally at an attempt to stab the hell out of Motsognir.

Goblin D circles behind Gabriel, flanking him. The spearpoint doesn't penetrate his chainmail, but the force of the jab still cracks a rib or two.

6 damage

Argumentus up

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus moves in to perform a Reaping Strike on Goblin D

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Realizing that the goblins are not particularly likely to run up and volunteer to be smashed, Argumentus rounds the corner hammer-first.

10 damage

Motsognir up

M

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Seeing the incredible damage the human was able to cause, Soggy calls out, "That's... what I like to see! Keep on doing that..." inspiring Argumentus to attack yet again.

Commander's Strike to Goblin D via Argumentus

I was speaking idiomatically.

Like any athlete, Argumentus is happy to keep up the good fight with the help of a little encouragement. He swings his hammer once again into the nearest goblin, spraying teeth and spittle over all assembled.

8 damage, goblin bloodied

The skull-wearing goblin charges into the fray, swinging his axe into the paladin.

6 damage, Gabriel 18 HP

Having not been dislodged, the stirge continues idly slurping away at Fescue.

Fescue rips the stirge from his arm, then jabs his dagger through its bloated belly while it attempts to regain its perch. It splatters on the floor, unmoving.

5 damage, stirge eliminated

Gabe up

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf took a deep breath to steady himself, shuffled to the side and, ignoring the big hatted goblin for the moment, swung out violently at the bloodied foe.

dwarven healing surge
shuffle down-left to flank bloodied goblin with argumentus.
bolstering strike to bloodied foe.

Too much homework to be descriptive right now. Assume I was clever.

FELIPE NO

Gabriel finally gets the hang of his new weapon, and the goblin (trapped as she is between a cask and a dumb place) is easily dispatched.

13 damage, goblin killed. Gabriel's HP 25 (2)/10

Initiative: Bob 21, Gabriel 17, Fescue 16, Goblin Skullcleaver 10, Goblin Warriors 7, Motsognir 6, Argumentus 3

Bob up

M

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Still reeling from my own display of arcane power, I looked around the room to identify the biggest threat to my horde. The newest entrant to the fray, a goblin much larger than the others seemed the obvious choice so I levelled my staff and aimed a debilitating ray of pestilence at him.

Ray of enfeeblement on big goblin

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Acrid steam pours out from the skull-clad maniac, and his axe slips toward the ground as the strength ebbs from his limbs.

9 damage, goblin weakened

Gabe up

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf half-stepped back as the mage's arts flew past him and struck the goblin king (not played by David Bowie in this case), quickly spinning in a small half-circle the dwarf (not Hoggle in this case) violently struck out with his weapon, looking to help the goblin thing shuffle off the mortal coil.

Fearsome smite on hat guy.

Shuffle over to stand next to argumentus

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

As Gabriel swings his axe around toward the goblin leader, the enemy musters enough strength to parry with his own axe. Stymied in his attempt at a crushing blow, Gabriel retreats toward the party.

Fescue darts across the room, flanking Goblin C (though B gives him a spear in the back for his trouble). Lunging at the enemy from behind, he jams his dagger between her shoulders. The goblin howls in agony, but remains upright for the moment.

Sneak attack/Torturous Strike, 19 damage (goblin bloodied)

The effects of Bob's enervating ray still torment the largest of the invaders. His muscles wracked with pain, he can barely lift his axe. The feeble swing he makes at Gabriel is pitiful to see.

Seeing their leader humiliated in such a way, Goblin B enters a tactical retreat. She steps back into the corner, flinging a spare javelin Motsognir's way and grazing him.

3 damage to Soggy

Goblin C realizes she's only a few wounds away from a messy death and decides to make a run for it. Fescue swings at her fleeing back, but she ducks it and disappears back down the northern corridor.

Motsognir up

M

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Way to swing, no swing," Motsognir grunted at Gabe, leaping towards the hatted goblin.

Move to Square North of skull-hat
Warlord's Favor, with attack bonus to Argumentus

I was speaking idiomatically.

Soggy lunges across the room, smashing his axe into the increasingly-irritable goblin. The blade thuds deeply into the monster's flesh, but the cry of pain Motsognir expected is reduced to an angry snarl.

8 damage. Argumentus gains +4 to attacks against the Skullcleaver.

Upcoming turns: Argumentus, Bob, Fescue, Gabriel, Skullcleaver, Goblin Warrior, Motsognir

M

Most amazing jew boots

Argumentus spots a worthy (muscular) foe. Face beaming with glee he moves to bring down all of his might upon the goblin axeman.

Argumentus moves to the square south of Goblin axeman and achieves flank
Argumentus performs brute strike on goblin axeman

FELIPE NO

Emboldened by Motsognir's rare effectiveness, Argumentus handily caves in the skullcleaver's ribcage. The battered goblin barely remains upright, leaning on his axe haft to avoid falling on his face.

19 damage on an attack with a +13 to hit jesus H

Upcoming turns: Bob, Fescue, Gabriel, Skullcleaver, Goblin Warrior, Motsognir, Argumentus

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?