[DnD] Package Handling (GFF D&D Adventure IX)

3 Dice Rolls Hurt

Disappointed though I was in my inability to find any rats, I felt my blood start pumping as I heard the sounds of battle from above. Drawing my sword, I rushed up the stairs, coming out very close to some fishthing. Chuckling to myself, I felt my aegis settle on the marauder. I stepped close, sweeping my blade at the creature.

Appear at R2, move to R3
Mark marauder with aegis.
Booming blade to maurader
18 + 11 = 29 > 24 BOOM damage (something happened on my end, first roll counts right? 10 + 6 = 16)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Loading...

How ya doing, buddy?

3 Dice Rolls off to work we go

After the fifth straight hour of tapping her foot, Dal-ri-lar once again looked out the window. That stupid green/brown man was standing there. Like an idiot. His loss.



"On land you may command, by sea it is me! waugh, waugh!"

"Octopus, Shark, Swordfish. You know what to do!"

And with that three minions waddled out the front door.

All spawn at R6 in turn as they move to S5, T6, and U5.
All three attempt to pick up the Whip together and throw him off the side of the boat.
No idea what to roll for this, please advise
Let's say the flanker was grabbing it so +5 vs Fort is 24 > 23 so successed?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls Recharge

Alright. No more pussy footing.

ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. YOU GUYS GET OFF MY BOAT.

Dal-ri-lar hulk walks THROUGH the door. Handles and latches are for giant weeping vaginas. The door is annihilated as it splinters into a billion grains of sawdust as she makes her triumphant entrance.

Indeed, it was heralded by angels, it seems. Light shines bright as she makes her way up to the deck.

Spawn at R6, Move to T4.

Did she hear....music?

She glances upward. What's that? A....shiny metal man? And a midget? Playing a guitar? RIDING A WYVERN?

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NO TIME FOR DILLY DALLY.

With a triumphant shout, she lets loose her war cry.









Hard to Starboard
Cal Prone in the water! DROWNING. (awesome)
Puyet turns a sailor into red mist!
One minion in the drink.
Everyone else 3 to the right!


BUT STILL



Privateer FP vs Marauder
Minor Cover penalty -2.
Fail miserably.
Double fail on reload.

All that moonshine seemingly did nothing for her aim, however. She resolves to put one between the eyes of the next motherfucker, though.

Most amazing jew boots

3 Dice Rolls let's fist again

Glenn sets to work mauling the living hell out of the whip. If the changeling's panicky shrieks were at all accurate, taking out this guy might be enough to break the entire assault. Besides, Glenn never passed up an opportunity to put the nobility in its place... even if it happened to be fish nobility.

Gra-fa-zut strides onto the deck, the battle already underway without him. Some squamous thing makes a feeble lunge at him with its spear, and his blade is out in a flash. Seems he's found some vermin after all.

The captain waits for the half-orc mercenary to order the sailors she'd put under his command, but perhaps his temporary blindness has left him with more pressing concerns. Tossing aside an empty bottle, she shouts for the crew to "throw them off my boat". They were always a literal bunch. Displaying exemplary teamwork they circle around the kuo-toa whip and hoist him onto their shoulders — and into the drink.

With the helm clear, Dal-ri-lar staggers up to take the wheel. With a mighty heave she pulls the vessel hard to starboard, sending bodies and cargo flying. The eladrin and the shapeshifter go over the side along with one of the damned devilfish, but that was alright. They could teleport back on or transform into a raft or something, these things worked themselves out. Gra-fa-zut slashes again at the spear-wielding fish as it tumbles away, but it's only a glancing wound.

After a failed potshot at one of the remaining kuo-toa, Dal-rilar's startled as the brawny human lifts her overhead and flings her toward the crow's nest. Sadly, her time in the air is brief; the fighter barely manages to throw her 10 feet. Left dangling one-handed from the rigging, she internally debates the relative usefulness of dropping the pistol. It's technically possible she could reload it one-handed, you can't give up on these things without trying.

With his bow-carrying prey floating in the water, the monitor turns his attention to the dangerous... was he on fire? He lunges toward Gra-fa-zut, his fist crackling with natural electricity, but natural reluctance to be ignited wins out.

Lightning Fist: +14 vs Ref

Dal-ri-lar is dangling from the ropes ABOVE Q7, unable to reach anybody with her cutlass. She might be able to kick heads, though.

Some of you may not be where you expect to be, even taking into account the map having rotated 30 degrees. That's because Glenn and a sailor tried to occupy the same space and adjustments had to be made.

Scaling the hull to get back aboard is a DC 15 athletics check; the deck is 10 feet from the water and climbers move at half speed, so a successful climb will use 4 squares of movement. Swimming movement is also half speed, make a DC 10 Athletics to not spaz out and sink. Kuo-toa, being naturally aquatic, are exempt from this.

(You need to end your turn while underwater to start drowning, sorry Skills)

Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28, Puyet 15, Kuo-toa Whip 12, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Dal-ri-lar 10, Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Sailors 7, Garrmondo 5, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 3

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls Action Point don't fail me now

Help, I'm drowning! Ccccc-an't swim!

Crazy women captains, not knowing their ports from their starboards. Why, if that blasted genasi woman ordered a hard left, it'd be three enemies in the drink instead of two allies.

She'll get hers for this. Right after I take my revenge on Lamid.

Survival takes precedent over anthing else; I involuntarily imprinted into one of the fish-men, and attempt a mad dash to clamber aboard. After my first two attempts fail, I decide to try again at a less slippery location. Miraculously, my improvised dog paddle works!

Minor: Shapeshift to kuo-ta warder.
Move: Athletics to climb, need 12+. Failed.
Standard to Move: Athletics to climb. Failed.
Action Point to swim, need 7+. Dog paddle 3 squares north.

FELIPE NO

2 Dice Rolls clamber aboard

The warders recover quickly from the ship's sudden movement, charging toward the helm to (futilely) attack Gra-fa-zut. The warder in the water easily climbs back aboard.

Though the water around the Swiftcurrent is practically swarming with kuo-toa peons, none of them give Glenn or Cal more than a passing glance. They seem more interested in destroying the ship then in eliminating the passengers. Just to be sure, Cal assumes a friendly form... and does his best to ignore the suddenly obvious pheromones issuing from the whip. Cal was an adventurous sort of guy, but the kuo-toa had some ideas that made him rather uncomfortable. How would you even fit an anchor that size inside — well, there were more important matters afoot.

Puyet 15, Kuo-toa Whip 12, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Sailors 7, Dal-ri-lar 10,, Garrmondo 5, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 3, Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Puyet was a little buzzed. Perhaps the Captain had spiked his morning coffee. Perhaps it was the lightning bolt that landed in his asshole. Whatever it was, he needed another drink.

Drink potion of clarity. Spend one surge.
Stumble to T6
Total Defense.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

14 Dice Rolls um, save vs ongoing

The kuo-toa whip easily climbs back up onto the ship, but makes the mistake of ignoring Glenn bobbing in the water beside him. Though the eladrin's shortsword deals him a massive wound, he shrugs it off and continues his climb.

Glenn's AoO vs Whip: 23 damage
Did you know? With the release of Essentials, Rogues may now deal their Sneak Attack damage once a turn rather than once a round.

Raising his staff in triumph, the whip summons a vile torrent of sea slime out of the depths. It splatters down upon the deck like a hammer, throwing mercenary and crewman alike away from the impact. Puyet, Garrmondo, and Gra-fa-zut are flung into the water; the pressure of the slime oozing back into the sea pushes Glenn even further away from the ship.

Though many of the sailors are far away from the blast, the captain and Puyet's combat-trained retinue are not so lucky. Thrown unconscious into the sea, the stormsoul genasi sailors rapidly sink beneath the surface and drown. Dal-ri-lar is pushed down from the ropes, and slammed forcefully into the surface of the bridge deck — head first. Her neck snaps, killing her instantly.

Slime Vortex: Burst 4 centered on S7, +15 vs Fort. 35 damage to every friendly except Cal. Dal, Sailors killed outright. Everyone else bloodied and prone, and slid 3 spaces.

Once again the Marauder is left without any practical targets; he decides to bide his time. The drylanders wouldn't give up their prize as easily as this.

Delay until after Garrmondo

Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Garrmondo 5, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 3, Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28, Puyet 15, Kuo-toa Whip 12

There's nowhere I can't reach.

4 Dice Rolls (need a second die, since 2W)

All that I had time to register as I was flung from the ship was a single thought: Ow, dammit. Upon hitting the water, I quickly swam close and tried to climb up the side of the ship.

Climb up at N1. Athletics Check passed.

I was mad as hell, and these guys would find themselves on the pointy end of a flying blade if I had anything to say about it. As I climbed over the railing, I summoned my sword into my hand and threw it at the fishmen.

Minor action: swordbond call (I'm guessing is what I need after having gone ass-over-teakettle).
Whirling Blade at Monitor (P7). 14 + 11 = 25 HIT / 16 Damage (unless I'm reading 2[W] wrong)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

3 Dice Rolls *sneak

Glenn shakes his head and recovers from the wave that the slime had created. He rights himself, irritated for not having gotten out of the way in time. Getting up on deck would be too difficult for now, so he instead decided to shoot the fish. Glenn was getting irritated, but at least his target had kindly stayed close enough to the edge of the boat to allow for an easy shot.

Won't bother rolling to avoid drowning - Glenn would need a -1 to fail, so.
Move action to return to being vertical.
swap weapons to hand crossbow.
switch hand crossbow to deal lightning damage.
Deft Strike vs. Whip. need 10 to hit (unless Pang decides the fish has cover or something)
15 should be plenty, 21 damage.

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls crossbow v. Garrmondo

G-Unit gradually begins to climb back aboard, dripping and aggravated. With the enemy temporarily out of reach, Gra-fa-zut hurls his sword at the kuo-toa monitor — and scores a minor wound on the fishman, largely due to the monitor's being distracted by a premature victory dance on the part of the warders.

Glenn chooses to remain in the water for now. Firing from the water, the whip made an easy target as he stood carelessly by the rail. Between that and the bleeding wound Glenn had made with his gloves, the whip couldn't possibly endure much longer.

The marauder issues a guttural shout as Gra-fa-zut climbs back onto the ship. With an angry gurgle he charges with his filthy-looking spear — and slams it into the port railing. Gra-fa-zut raises a blazing eyebrow.

The monitor just stands back and casually fires his crossbow at Garrmondo. He's cool like that. He misses. That is also cool. Nothing shakes the unflappable cool of a Kuo-toa Monitor. Nothing. Not even getting hit in the face with a flying sword. He's just like "Nice sword, buddy. What did that run you, about 5 bucks? Heh." Of course, it's all in a fishy fish language that Gra-fa-zut can't possibly understand, but that's beside the point. The monitor gives a whistle, and three more warders climb up onto the bridge to help secure the ship.

Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28, Puyet 15, Kuo-toa Whip 12 (as good as dead), Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Garrmondo 5, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 4

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll Athletics

The pheromones issuing from the almost-dead whip is almost too tantalizing to resist. I am especially enthused about her plans for the ship's anchor.

Alas, I cannot be near my beloved - my honor as a mercenary demands I fulfill my mission to the best of my capability.

It would be foolhardy to engage the enemy without reinforcement, so I bide my time, treading water and waiting for the right time to climb up.

Swim to E14. Need 7+.
Ready Move Action to climb ship, ending at F14. Trigger: Glenn takes an action.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

7 Dice Rolls Q7 javelin vs Garrmondo

Forming into crude firing lines, the warders pelt Garrmondo with javelins until sheer system shock renders him unconscious. Then they keep pelting him, just to be a bunch of dicks. "Be a bunch of dicks" is Rule #2 in the Official Kuo-toa Combat Strategy Manual. (Rule #1 is "Don't eat potential slaves", but this rule is ignored more often than it should be.)

45 damage to Garrmondo, KOed

Made an unnecessary damage roll there, ignore it. The whip will be killed by ongoing damage at the start of its turn so just skip over it.

Puyet 15, Kuo-toa Whip 12 (as good as dead), Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Garrmondo 5 (KO), Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 4 Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28,

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls Climb check

Puyet felt like a soaking wet piece of jerky. He scaled back up the side of the boat and ducked for cover amongst the barrels and such that were close to the edge of the deck.

Move to upright.
Inspiring word to self. Regain 18 hp. Also, is my temp HP from being bloodied shown?
Climb up hull.
Take cover at V8.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

4 Dice Rolls *Marauder damage

Thunderclap strike on Monitor at O5 and Maurader
Monitor 18 + 9 = 27 > 22 HIT 9 DMG & prone
Marauder 16 + 9 = 25 > 21 HIT 9 DMG & prone
ready firepulse for first hit

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll twang

Glenn steps out of the world, reappearing aboard the Swiftcurrent. As he does so, he sees yet another of the fish-things climbing aboard on the far side of the boat. Glenn starts to feel concerned - he had been able to take care of what seemed like their leader, but the assault showed no signs of slowing. Glenn clears his mind for what is clearly going to be a long and painful fight still to come, firing a bolt at the group of fish to his left while he does so.

Fey Step to U9
Second Wind
Snap Shot vs minion at U5, need 11+
hit! use lightning crossbow daily to wipe out that group of minions.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

8 Dice Rolls *and the damage?

Puyet climbs back aboard, grumbling under his breath and attempting to take cover amongst the jumble of battered crates and barrels along the starboard rail. An angry, dripping-wet half orc wasn't hard to spot in the best circumstances, but he just needed a moment to catch his breath.

The ragged wound Glenn had scored finally gets the best of the whip; the kuo-toa priest's eyes roll up in his head as he loses a little more blood than he can afford to. He collapses, dead, at the top of the stairs.

Rather than bother with swimming and climbing, Glenn simply manifests himself aboard the deck. Without a moment's hesitation, he releases the electric charge built up in his crossbow and sends a crackling bolt flying toward the new reinforcements. The deck is soon awash in the delicious odor of fried catfish.

For whatever reason, Cal takes Glenn's reappearance aboard ship as the cue for him to climb aboard as well. Having done so, he promptly stands there doing fuck-all.

Finding himself hemmed in by foes, Gra-fa-zut smashes the kuo-toa with a wall of thunderous sound. The warder to his south cannot bear the noise; he falls in a heap, ears bleeding.

Garrmondo continues to lie immobile on the deck, more pincushion than man. He seems not to be getting any worse, a small blessing with the unlikelihood of aid coming to him any time soon.

The marauder pursues his single-minded obsession to slay Gra-fa-zut, skewering the genasi with his barnacle-encrusted spear. The fiery retribution that swiftly blasts him in the face does not seem to discourage him overmuch.

Slavering Spear: 18 damage to Gra-fa-zut & 5 ongoing untyped damage (save ends)
Firepulse: 5 damage to Marauder

Smirking a fishy smirk, the monitor coolly turns his crossbow toward Garrmondo's unconscious form. The bolt thumps into the fighter's body with a cold finality, and his breathing shudders to a halt.

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Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28, Puyet 15, Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 5

How ya doing, buddy?

5 Dice Rolls *Shootery 1 damage

Garrmondo... dead?

No, you can't be dead.

You... just... can't.



The murderers.

I'll have their heads for this.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. I bottle up my righteous fury, and silently manuever into position to snipe at the evil archer who took Garr away from us.

Tiptoe to H13, hopefully taking cover thanks to barrels.
P10 is my quarry.
Make stealth check to hide: 13+11+1=25 > Highest passive perception 12+10=22. Success.
Claws of the Manticore with Duergar Beard Arrows against P10. With combat advantage, needs 12+ to hit.
First attack deals 17+7 damage.
Critical hit on second attack deals 10+7+8, +1 poison damage.
Total: 50 damage.
Concealment bonus lost due to attacking.

Enemy Stats before Cal
Marauder (AC 24, Fort 21, Ref 21, Will 20): 74/110 HP (67%)
Warder (AC 23, Fort 24, Ref 23, Will 23): minion.


I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls O6 spear vs. Gra

Some guys with spears are all like "we will stab you with our spears" and then Gra-fa-zut is all "oh no do not please kind sirs" but they do anyway and he gets hurt and falls down and it is sad. The bad men laugh because they are evil and their hearts are as black as the bottomless depths of the sea, it is a chilling sound indeed. Waka-waka.

18 damage to Gra-fa-zut; unconscious

Puyet 15, Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9 (KO), Kuo-toa Marauder 10, Kuo-toa Monitor 28, ROUND 5, Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warders 28

I was speaking idiomatically.

5 Dice Rolls Inspiring word bonus

A little bird came along and whispered into Puyet's ear. Puyet swatted it dead with a backhand. It didn't look very compelling flopping around on the deck, so he smeared it a little with his boots just to make sure.

Charge to Q9. Flattening charge on Moniter? Reroll with Potion of Clarity ability.
Furious Assault. 13 DMG total =(
Inspiring word on GFZ. Regains 18 HP
If Moniter is dead, Move to N7

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

4 Dice Rolls *sneak attack

Glenn is quickly losing hope. His companions are falling left and right, the fishmen just keep coming, and without the support of the Dragonborn cleric things are swiftly taking a turn for the worse. Glenn can't stand the thought of dying now. Not after having come so far. He debates trying to escape, but there is nowhere to run. Glenn decides to try to take as many of the fish down with him as he can. He wasn't dead yet.

Fast hands weapon swap.
Move to Q10 next to Puyet.
Clever Strike, need 10+.
fail. try Nasty Backswing, same thing.
hit, 24 damage should finish off monitor.

Most amazing jew boots

4 Dice Rolls Marauder damage

The world swam before my eyes as the creatures attacked me, only to come back into full view hearing Puyet shouting at me. I stood up and spun, lashing out at the three fishthings around me. I then use my sword to get the hell out of there

Stand up
Sword burst on Warders and Marauder
MISS Warder at O5
Warder at O6 17 + 9 = 26 > 23 HIT (dead)
Maurader 16 + 9 = 25 > 21 HIT 5 + 6 = 11 DMG
Spend an action point
Use Rubicant Broadsword to teleport to S5

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls spear gfz again whynot

With the Monitor and Whip both dead, the kuo-toa raiding party seems to be falling apart under its own weight. The trickle of warder reinforcements climbing onto the deck slows to a stop; the Marauder has no direct authority to command them. Desperate to pry some kind of glory out of the hands of a battle which is rapidly going south, the Marauder pursues Gra-fa-zut as he teleports away to the helm. The stairs mean Gra-fa-zut can see the kuo-toa coming well in advance, and he bats the spear aside easily.

Cal 28, Kuo-toa Warder 28, Puyet 15, Glenn 9, Gra-fa-zut 9, Kuo-toa Marauder 10, ROUND 6

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls Archery 2

The marauder thinks to brutalize Garrmondo's corpse, does he? Let's see what my arrows have to say about it. Yet, the mere thought of Garr is too much to bear. Many times has he put himself in harm's way, his chiseled muscles taking attacks that my delicate constitution could not. And now, he's gone. The most senior member of our adventuring party - the glue that bound us together through many arrivals and departures - is gone.

Changing to a form my allies are unlikely to attack, I fire off a couple of arrows to dissuade the fishman from desecrating our friend's corpse. Alas, my aim was blinkered by lacrimal secretions from my eyes. Fortunately, the second arrow hits the murderous warder in her fishy ovaries, and she drops down dead.

Shapeshift to Glockenspiel McSteelchest.
Move to H10 for a clear shot.
Twin Strike (need 12+) against O5.
Minion killed. Your turn, guys.

Enemy Stats after Puyet
Marauder (AC 24, Fort 21, Ref 21, Will 20): 58/110 HP (53%) PRONE (+2 melee -2 ranged attack rolls vs)

There's nowhere I can't reach.