[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

On closer inspection, it appeared that the halfling was in fact human, albeit a very short one. Casting Light on the stupid looking human's helmet, I cautiously followed the ugly dwarf up the stairs.

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf spat on the ground and trudged back down about four steps. "Kord's will. I don't even have to read it." In point of fact, he was perhaps too short to reach the placard but he kept up the gruff demeanor anyway. "It's going to tell us we're going through the door."

Gabriel looked up at the nearby human Rogue and patted his arm. "You take a look, human. Maybe it's an exit sign, who knows?" He grumbled and began trudging towards the back of the pack and stopping when he was parallel with Scary Bob. "Which means we have to go through the door to death, down there...."

The little man was quite the cynic, as he hadn't even read the damned sign and he was already assuming they were walking into near certain death. Ah well, let someone else read it. Kord was merciful, however. Now halfling to decide it would be funny to pull on the dangling rope and possibly crush them all beneath some random trap.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Slab pretty. Is it candy?

Argumentus licks placard

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Placard is salty with an underlying hint of maple.

How ya doing, buddy?

"Well, I guess we'd be better off making the best of-" the Paladin stopped, his jaw working as his brow furrowed in confusion as the hambeast licked the placard. He shook his head and took up point, trudging down the stairs with heavy foot stomps, as subtle as a dwarf knew how to be.

"By the never-shattering blade of Kord, this is going to be a miracle if we navigate our way out of this." He commented more to himself, but it was closest to Silent Bob. As he hit the bottom of the stairs, he grasped his weapon tightly in his hand and looked long at the door for a sign of a lock, or an obvious booby trap. He rubbed his calf with the head of his warhammer, sighing openly as he did his best to look like he understood a damned thing about traps and doors in general. Ah, he'd give the wizard for a decent thief right about now...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Gabriel finds no sign of a trap on the door. It's slightly ajar, and he detects the faint smell of mold from the other side.

FELIPE NO

The Dwarf scratched his valanced chin with the hammer's grip. Staring at the door and waiting for the rest of the group to descend. He glanced down at the holy symbol on his wrist and sighed deeply.

"I don't suppose any of you lot has a love for reckless exploratio-" He stopped and turned on his heels, looking up as the hambeast lumbered down the steps. "You there, slope-brow. I think there might be food on the other side of that door. Be a good lad and check it out for us."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yeah, I hungry.

Argumentus performs unarmed strike on door

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus' mighty fist slams into the flimsy door, and it flies off its hinges, hurtling forward into the room beyond.

yapyap:

Argumentus rolls 22 (18+4) against a door break difficulty of 16. This door is no more. It has ceased to be.

With the door gone, the stench of rot and mold grows stronger, and part of the room ahead is visible before you: seemingly a mess hall. Tables lie stacked with fungus-clustered plates, and a single unfortunate diner remains, his dessicated body sprawled in a dark stain a few strides from the cistern. Another door lies along the left wall.



There's nowhere I can't reach.

Argumentus searches room for edibles

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Walk up to empty doorframe and wait to see if Argumentus is horribly killed in some way.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

As Argumentus meanders about the mess hall, nothing seems to immediately endanger him. Another door is spotted on the opposite end of the room, and some barrels on the far wall.

Flies are swarming around both the corpse and the cistern.



How ya doing, buddy?

Examine cistern from a safe distance.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

As Soggy gingerly approaches the fly-infested cistern, he notices little bubbles of gas breaking the surface of the water, regularly disturbing the flies. Moments after each bubble, greyish-brown flecks of something rise to the surface as well.



FELIPE NO

The dwarf wandered into the room after Argumentus. Swinging his hammer up onto his shoulder he glanced at the body as he passed it, calling out over his shoulder "Thin Lizzy, there's another body in here if you want to give it a good toe-ing." He grinned at his own joke and meandered towards the south of the room at an easy pace.

It seemed they were in the remnants of some keep. That didn't bode especially well for their predicament. This could be something as simple as a plague. The dwarf clutched to his holy icon a little tighter and said a quick prayer to Kord for protection as he approached the barrels and glanced around them for any sign of their contents.

How ya doing, buddy?

Though the lettering on the barrels has been eroded by many years of abandonment and the skittering feet of vermin, Gabriel can easily make out the neat Dwarven script. 4 kegs of aged Rukhas Goraz — orcish ale!



Jam it back in, in the dark.

The Dwarf let a smile break over his features. Well, if anyone didn't have a full waterskin, this would keep them alive. He knew better than to get drunk on a quest like this, but it was good knowledge to have.

Traveling a few steps to the south, he gave the door a nice, sound listen. Trying to hear the tell-tale signs of activity on the other side as he glanced back towards the opposite side of the room to see what Slo-dan and his kinsman were up to.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"I don't suppose we'll be served our last meal, eh, fellows?" The bumbling retarded fellow wasn't the only one longing for a meal right about now. I dig into my bag to see if I've been graced with any of my rations left intact.

I walk into the center of the dining hall and look around to take in my surrounding, noting the rum the brusk dwarf has found, and not finding anything else to my immediate interest. (Or do I?)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Even after a thorough once-over by Fescue, the dining hall seems not to contain any hidden terrors. The northern door seems off somehow, though— it hangs low on its hinges, as if weighed down.

Gabriel puts his ear to the southern door, a variety of unlikely sounds is evident: a high-pitched and argumentative conversation in some unknown tongue, a chittering like that of an insect, and... the smashing of crockery.



How ya doing, buddy?

Seeing an opportunity to make up for his earlier, um, overenthusiasm, Motsognir turned to examine the apparantly fresh remains smeared at the base of the table.

"Hmmm," he hmmmmed, "Something's been here... something... dangerous."

He tried his best to sound official, poking the corpse a while longer and hoping he looked like he knew what he was doing.

I was speaking idiomatically.

No food! Argumentus not happy.

Argumentus searches the corpse

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The Dwarf pushed a finger to his lips and glowered at the people across the room. He went through a series of hand signals to indicate that there were potentially hostile people on the other side of the door, but seeing the large slope-brow attempting to figure out what shadow puppets he was making, he quietly made his way back towards them.

He spoke in a hushed voice as he pointed over his shoulder at the southern door. "There are creatures on the other side of the door, and they're not speaking any tongue I recognise. I don't believe we're apt to find anything friendly down here outside each other, so maybe someone..." he glanced at the large fighter pointedly "should go fetch the elf princess before we push through."

That being said, he moved towards the north door and gave that a good listen, as well.

FELIPE NO

Oh. Yeah. I like pretty lady.

Argumentus goes to fetch Scary Bob carrying him into the mess Hall with his big strong arms that could just hold on forever and ever

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

An examination of the body reveals a fairly obvious cause of death; a crossbow bolt through the back of the head protrudes from the human's left eyesocket. Argumentus rifles merrily through the cadaver's vestments but finds nothing work taking save a sling and a half-dozen stones. Leather coinpurse strings are tied to a belt but the purse itself is missing.

Argumentus makes a valiant attempt to bodily drag Scary Bob out of the cell, but the elf is just a little dexterous to be caught by Argumentus' loving embrace.

As Gabriel puts his ear to the northern door he hears only the squealing of rats.



Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf glanced over at his fellow dwarf and shrugged. "This one's quiet, at least." His voice was solid, but he glanced over at the door where he heard the sound of the fairy princess nimbly running away from the Big Slow.

He sharply clicked his tongue at the rogue to get his attention. "What say you, lad? I prefer the danger I know to that I don't. And I'll never turn down a chance to kill in the name of Kord. But I'm not the sole life at stake in this decision." He glanced longingly at the southern door, and its obvious passage to violence and glory for his god.

"So what say the three of you? Which door do we send the shuffling man-child through?"

There's nowhere I can't reach.