Thoughts on Marriage

Originally Posted by Leknaat

I've been married before. I took the marriage seriously--he didn't. So, yes, I'm divorced. Seems a lot of the men where I live don't take marriage seriously--theirs or anyone else's--for that matter.

So, instead of even trying, I'm planning on remaining single the rest of my life.

Same here. However, I'm not going to remain single for the rest of my life. I just won't get married again anytime soon!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I really don't feel marriage has much of a point myself as it's your relationship with the other person that makes it worthwhile not some ceremony that gives tax breaks and makes breaking up into a hellish legal process. That being said I don't feel it's really a bad thing either and as I got engaged recently because my girlfriend wanted to and I didn't have any great objection I can't really give people too much shit about it.

I think should have to live with someone for a year minimum before considering marriage as people are roughly 5 times as hard to deal with when you share say a bathroom. And all of this little mildly annoying traits become ever so much more apparent when you're dealing with a person most of the day every day.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I really don't see that being married is any different from what I had before. Jarred and I had already had a kid, were living together and doing things that a married couple do before we even got married. The only reason we got married in the first place was because we would be coming up on being common law anyway and our parents were pushing the issue because they hated the fact that we had kids together and weren't married.

I don't think marriage is a huge deal because truthfully it changes nothing aside from the fact that if you want to split it takes a little more effort than just walking out of the door.

People hold the idea of marriage too highly I believe, like if people aren't married and the live together and act like they are married that it is somehow wrong. I guess what it all boils down to is how you were raised.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Are you proposing, Sassacrass? Because the answer is a solid "I'll think about it."

Seriously though, marriage is fine in concept. I have a polygamous relationship, so the only thing marriage means to me is tax rebates. I don't think religion gets a monopoly on this anymore. Not with all those Shin-esque fags running around and getting hitched.

That's got to be the first time anyone's ever accused me of being the faggy marrying type...

You're the one with the beard, mate.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Marriage is a sacred matter to me, and no, I'm not speaking on religious concept, it's just my point of view. People shouldn't play marriage like a game as if they were still in the pool for those sleazy games. There are a lot of things involve in a marriage besides lovel; commitment and patience, dedicated and knowing how to compromise because things won't always go the way you wanted.

Will it happen to me someday? I guess so. But I really don't marraige happening to me in a while. There're much more things and places out there that I want to do and visit before I get settled down. And many more people for me to meet.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

It's sad that people view marriage with such a flippant attitude. For a long time I thought it was just something you did when you loved someone. When I was ready to marry my fiancee, she wanted to get married in the catholic church. I asked if I had to convert, and she said no. They really don't have an issue if you've been baptized, and I had.
They do however, require some 'training', which for some churches can be two years, where others can be 6 months. Ours was about 9 months, but I learned SO much more about her (and me) during that time. There was a 'test' at the beginning in which you answered several question based on your beliefs about things that often cause people to separate: money, kids, housing, jobs, careers, sex, etc.
This was tremendously helpful (even though it seemed pretty lame at the time) because it got us talking about issues we needed to. It was pretty funny though, because the priest we were working with said we were the most compatible couple he'd worked with so far! Still, our biggest issue was money at the time. Just out of college, we were both looking at careers, and we were both pretty frightened given the current job market (still are!).
We also had to learn about Natural Family Planning, a method of birth control recommended by the church (mandatory to not live in sin). It shows that the woman is infertile during a span of time every cycle. This is very tough to practice, but I promised her we'd try. It's been going well, but I still struggle with it.
We also had what the church calls 'Evenings for he Engaged', where you meet another couple in the church and they talk with you (and other couples) about the practicalities of being married, what comes up along the way, and how to deal with it and stay together.
I feel so much more sure than I did before entering the classes than I did when we got engaged that we made the right decision.
As was mentioned before, it isn't just love, but trust and sacrifice that make a marriage work. Most couples break apart due to the sacrifice protion, because they aren't willing to sacrifice a job, their time, money, etc for the good of the couple.
I thought the classes were really lame before I went, and was peeved that I had to go, but it helped me mature and know more about my wife's faith. It inspired me so much that now I am entering the Catholic Church as well!

FELIPE NO

Quote:

I thought the classes were really lame before I went, and was peeved that I had to go, but it helped me mature and know more about my wife's faith. It inspired me so much that now I am entering the Catholic Church as well!

Why are you adopting a theological perspective based on how they aided you in getting to know your wife better? It's like scientology. They may help you achieve a more positive, affirmative outlook on life, but that doesn't mean you should believe our origins came from an alien warlord who flew to earth on a jetplain, buried us in a volcano, made it explode with hydrogen bombs and then tried to brainwash us with a giant 3d movie.



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

BTW, LOVED that South Park!
Anyway, I'm certainly not entering the church based SOLELY on getting to know my wife better. Several of the church's doctrines on serious matters spoke to me during the process and I wanted to know more, so I pursued it further by taking the RCIA class (Rite of Catholic Initiation of Adults).

Jam it back in, in the dark.