In love with a fictional character?

I voted "weird" before I saw gaming's clarification - because it is definitely weird to actually be in love with a fictional character. But to identify with or be attracted to a character is what every writer hopes to accomplish with those who read/watch/play their work.

Speaking of Jack Bauer, though - every 24 character I get attached to ends up dying.

Spoiler:

Rest in peace, George and Tony.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Actually being in love with a character? No. Being attracted to the character based on how he/she was drawn/rendered? Yes.

I don't see how it's possible to actually fall in love with a fictional character, but I most certainly know that you can obsess over a character and grow feelings for them that would class you in the the "Rabid Fan" category.

What AliceNWondrland said summed it up nicely:

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You can not LOVE a person who isn't real. There has to be interaction between two people, mutual chemistry and appreciation, etc. Anything else is just obsession. It is NOT real love.

In some cases however, people could tend to grow a preference to real people through characters in games/animes/cartoons. Like me for instance. During Digimons peak years here in the states (1999-2000), I was obsessed with Sora from the first two seasons. Feeling that way about her caused me to develop an attraction to shoulder length, red-headed girls.

That preference still exists with me today, but I keep myself open 'cause I know I'll probably never find someone with those qualities.

*goes back to trying to complete his Krystal picture collection*

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Working in the live theater, I can fully understand falling in love with a character. Good direction and good acting can convey some strong emotions to the audience. The point of going to a live theater instead of a movie theater is to be a lot more intimate and candid with the story and characters. I remember at the end of Anton Chekov's 'Three Sisters', a lot of people, both men and women, were really in tears by the end of the show (of course, these are 'theater people' we are talking about) because the actors pushed a heavy tone of saddness and grief, being in the positions they were in. The job of the live theater is to sell the illusion that these people actually exist. These illusionary people have real dilemmas and personalities, and you have a window in to their world. On that note, I have voted to say, yes, it is possible to fall in love with a fictional character.

On the other hand...

Alice makes a good point of, love with a fictional character can be an unhealthy obsession. I don't necessarily agree with her, but I do believe that dude she was with was messed up. I can understand not wanting to date someone, but refusing to date someone because you have an obsession with someone you can't ever be with is a mental problem. Besides, you'd probably be crazy to not want to date Alice :love:

Now if I had my choice of dating any woman, I know who I would date (I'm sorry Alice, you didn't make the list), and they are real flesh and blood. If I wanted a fictional character, I would probably say Aya Brea from Parasite Eve for her iron will and strong confidence, or Jane Lane from the cartoon Daria, for her cynical sarchasm, yet light hearted enough not to be a complete asshole (there is a delicate balance there). I also reall like Jane's bro Treant, and of course Ms. Morgendorffer is a hoot and a holler too.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well, the guys at my high school and I had a mutual hatred toward one another. Over half of the guys at my college, and about 95% within my major, are homosexual. Most of the men I meet are either really great friends or very creepy/clingy dates. Yeah, and I just discovered a week ago that I'm the only single female of all my female friends (and not just the close ones).

I think having little crushes over a fictional character is fine. Sometimes you need it to keep your mind off the whiny females in society who believe that not having a serious boyfriend by the time you're 20 means you're life is over . As long as you realize that they are not real, and that those who fantasize over live action characters know that these people probably have other loves in their life, then it's fine. Just keep the barrier and keep looking elsewhere.

How ya doing, buddy?

There are some fictional characters whom I really admire. I just think to myself, it'd be great if I personally knew people like these. Sometimes the way they appear they look as if they are perfect in their own world. Out there I'm sure there's characters like these, but I do not know them, at least not yet.

I'm not really out to go on about rendered/drawn characters, I know the actress of the character has a different life, but it's the way it's presented to you. I'm sure our interpretation of love would be different but it'd be like perhaps how I love my SNES or whatever.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I voted its normal for gamers, but actually in love? b.c i have had some dreams about cortana, but love??

FELIPE NO

Falling in love with traits that are presented by fictional characters, and wanting to find those in real people, I can see that as feasible.

Falling in love with the fictional character? Umm go get some help, because that's just a bit over the edge. I can deal with the infatuation bit, the sex appeal that does sell some characters, but to read any more into that, you need to take a step back and make sure you've got a good grip on reality.

I know there's been some characters in movies/series that I figure, damn I wish I could meet someone that nice in real life, but that's usually the extent of it. I don't think I've ever fantasized about a fictional character, only about real people that they resemble.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I must admit it's happened to me a few times. The first time I saw an ad for Everquest in a PC Gamer mag I totally fell in love with whoever that spokeschick suppsed to be, but that was just a physical thing and I eventually had to break it off.

Then in high school my friend introduced me to a manga called Battle Angel Alita (or Gunnum, for japonophiles who need to be picky) and I still have a thing for the main character in that series, Alita (or Galley, whatev). It's pretty much the only manga I read, just because it has that X factor where I just really, really like it.

Originally Posted by AliceNWonderland

Now, pay attention. That's sick. You can not LOVE a person who isn't real. There has to be interaction between two people, mutual chemistry and appreciation, etc. Anything else is just obsession. It is NOT real love.

So how could you define real love? I'm sure you'd be very adamant in saying that true love exists, but a cynic such as myself can always say that ideal is stemed from cultural conditioning - too many chick flicks and Hallmark greetings cards have etched the illusion of love into your mind to the point where you believe it to be real.

Now I'm not saying I don't believe in love - I see the way people interact with each other and the varieties of love (romantic love, brotherly love, love between parent and child) and since I have felt deep seeded hatred of other people it's not hard for me to expect that I can feel the oppisite towards others as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that love, and hate for that matter, both are feelings that stem from obsession; unlike the black and white seperation you defined, how can love be described except a controlled degree of obsession? Is not love the act of careing deeply for someone? Is not hate the act of, in it's basic nature, careing deeply about someone as well? And is not obsession the act of caring for something deeply?

So then I must say it is entirely possible to fall truely in love with a fictional character - I don't believe it has to be an interaction either; haven't you had a crush on a real life indivdual who didn't return the love? The problem then, in your personal situation, was that he had only blurred the lines between fantasy and reality, or rather the line beween what is physically possible and what is not. And that, by a majory vote, is most definately insane (or sick, if you wanna call it that).

All I'm trying to say is that it is entirely plausable for someone to truly fall in love with a fictional character and the only thing that keeps it from going to far is a clear distinction between reality and fantasy (which I have always prided myself on keeping).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Qube

Falling in love with traits that are presented by fictional characters, and wanting to find those in real people, I can see that as feasible.

Falling in love with the fictional character? Umm go get some help, because that's just a bit over the edge. I can deal with the infatuation bit, the sex appeal that does sell some characters, but to read any more into that, you need to take a step back and make sure you've got a good grip on reality.

I know there's been some characters in movies/series that I figure, damn I wish I could meet someone that nice in real life, but that's usually the extent of it. I don't think I've ever fantasized about a fictional character, only about real people that they resemble.

That's exactly how I would have said it if I was any good with words. I don't think it's that uncommon for the personality traits of fictional characters to be desired, or loved to use such a strong word, or perhaps for physical traits to be lusted after (in a fantasy world you can find truly perfect people, especially physically...). But truly in love with a fictional person seems to be taking things a little too far.

How ya doing, buddy?

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I guess what I'm trying to say is that love, and hate for that matter, both are feelings that stem from obsession

That's where you're wrong. Love is not just a feeling, for one thing, and I also disagree that it stems from obsession.

You're right in that there are many kinds of love, but the feelings that accompany all of them are just a side effect. The way I know I truly love my husband and children is because I know that I would sacrifice my life for any of them, that I would do whatever it took to make them happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. We have a history together...memories (good and bad), we've made one another the center of our lives. We admire and celebrate the good things about each other and we also know each other's bad traits, and we stick together anyway. That's love. Anything else is just infatuation.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think it's normal as long as it's not obsessive, like hanging a million posters of that character on your wall etc. It's normal to have a crush or admiration for a fictional character. It happens to me quite often. I like many manga characters. A few notables with other fictional characters are Edmond Dantes (The Count) from the Count of Monte Cristo, since he's always described as extremely handsome and cunningly smart. And then there's the pity factor. Also the infamous Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Simply the perfect man ever written.

You know, characters like that I understand an infatuation.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by AliceNWonderland

The way I know I truly love my husband and children is because I know that I would sacrifice my life for any of them, that I would do whatever it took to make them happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. We have a history together...memories (good and bad), we've made one another the center of our lives. We admire and celebrate the good things about each other and we also know each other's bad traits, and we stick together anyway. That's love. Anything else is just infatuation.

Listen, I don't have any personal experience dealing with the romantic notions of love, so I'm only working with what I've observed.

Now that I've said that, how is anything you discribed above not a form of obsession? "We've made one another the centure of our lives"? Admit it, you are obsessed with your family. How could you not be? If you wern't, then I'd be concerned. You should be obsessed with your husband and your children, because they are your life. And anybody who isn't obsessed with their own life, who has lost interset in their own life, is ten seconds from jumping off a bridge.

You must be thinking that obsession is always a bad thing, and it's not. I just think the meaning behind the word implies a massive amount of careing. So love, as an emotion (and love has to be an emotion/ feeling, are you kidding me?) stems from obsession: if love=caring+caring and obsession=caring+caring then love=obsession.

The rest of my argument was just that other emotions stem from obsession as well, such as hate (most would consider the opposite of love) because to truely hate something you must care an aweful lot about it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

In my opinion, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's self. Love always focuses on the other person, and what can be done to make them happier, but selfishness only cares about me, myself, and I.

But that's for another thread.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

It's just plain weird, wrong, geeky/nerdy and completely idiotic. That's sticking to the fact that we're talking about "love".

How ya doing, buddy?

Eh, that would depend on how "deep" the lurve would be, I'm supposing. Having a slight infatuation would be ok, a full blown crush might be as well, as long as it's not "acted on" in any way. (Take whatever meaning you want from that.)

I've never had any kind of deep feelings of that for any fictional character. I have looked at the front of my copy off and on to look at Yuna's face on the cover of the FFX-2 box after I first purchased it, but that about as close as I've gotten.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Now, pay attention. That's sick. You can not LOVE a person who isn't real. There has to be interaction between two people, mutual chemistry and appreciation, etc. Anything else is just obsession. It is NOT real love.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by CryHavoc

It's just plain weird, wrong, geeky/nerdy and completely idiotic. That's sticking to the fact that we're talking about "love".

Really? So, you've never heard of anyone looking at a painting and falling "in love" with the subject--simply based on how it looked?

gaming isn't talking about dating--if that was the subject, then I don't think I would have mentioned that a friend of mine liked the way Lulu's boobs looked....

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

HOWEVER, I dated a guy who confessed to me (after we had gotten pretty serious) that for years he had literally been IN LOVE with a fictional character. I tried to get him to say that he had been obsessed with her or had a crush on her that he knew to be unrealistic and that he could differentiate these feelings he had for her from real love, but he could not be persuaded. He considers her to be his first "true love." He told me that it had been a life-changing experience for him. (This was a television character that he had incorporated into his D&D game, btw.)

Weird, especially if someone breaks up with a real person for one on a Ps2 DVD rom.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by whinehurst

Listen, I don't have any personal experience dealing with the romantic notions of love, so I'm only working with what I've observed.

So admittedly, you're hardly the expert. Why not consider Alice's opinion as she is somebody who has had personal experience dealing with romantic notions of love... she's married and has kids.

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Now that I've said that, how is anything you discribed above not a form of obsession? "We've made one another the centure of our lives"? Admit it, you are obsessed with your family. How could you not be? If you wern't, then I'd be concerned. You should be obsessed with your husband and your children, because they are your life.

So the idea of putting others before yourself equates to obsession? That's a pretty twisted perspective.

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You must be thinking that obsession is always a bad thing, and it's not. I just think the meaning behind the word implies a massive amount of careing. So love, as an emotion (and love has to be an emotion/ feeling, are you kidding me?) stems from obsession: if love=caring+caring and obsession=caring+caring then love=obsession.

I don't know what that little math equation was about but equating caring for something and being obsessed with it are extremely different. Obsession implies compulsive behavior based on emotion which is not even close to love. I take care of my friends, my family, but am I obsessed with them? The idea about love being a feeling is silly. Can you promise to love somebody forever? Sure, you do when you get married. I'll bet that Alice loves her husband and her kids and she will continue to do so for as long as she's here. If loving somebody was merely a feeling, then you couldn't promise to love someone any more than you could promise to have a headache for the rest of your life.

Love is choosing to put another person before yourself despite your feelings at the time. It's easy to love somebody when you're enfatuated with them and you're glowing for just having a roll in the hay. It's not easy to love them when they piss you off and make you upset.

So based on this can you acutally love a fictional character? Not a chance. You may be inspired by the ideas, values, and beauty that they represent but you cannot put their needs before your own, you cannot be kind to them regardless of your feelings, you cannot be patient with them when they offend you, because they aren't real.

This argument about whether or not love is a feeling has never been settled on this board because every now and then another 14 year old comes along feeling reflective and they figure that the overwhelming emotions associated with a first huge crush, or even worse, when some kid on here gets laid for the first time at 17 and thinks they have "love" all figured out.

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Originally Posted by PiccoloNamek

In my opinion, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's self. Love always focuses on the other person, and what can be done to make them happier, but selfishness only cares about me, myself, and I.

But that's for another thread.

well, what the hell, I'm on a roll - might as well talk about this as well

The way I see it is this: student.elon.edu/mbell2/!file/obsession.png
Yes, I am lame enough to go into mspaint and create a visual aid.

My point, Piccalo, is that since love and hate are emotions, and self...isn't, then self can not be the opposite of love. Rather, self is a target of love (or any varying degree of obsession). Thus, the story of Narcissis - a man so egotistical he fell deeply in love with his own reflection. Selfishness is defined as self-love, as self-obsession. Other's can also be a target of love, as I said in an ealier post: parents, brothers, children.

Originally Posted by CryHavoc

It's just plain weird, wrong, geeky/nerdy and completely idiotic. That's sticking to the fact that we're talking about "love".

I know this wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but I want to use it to facilitate a point. I have no doubt that people who fall madly in love with fictional characters have several issues to work out and I am upset with people who can not comprehend the difference between reality and fantasy.

Even though it's insane, I do not doubt that it's entirely possible for a person to, in the true sense of the phrase, fall in love with a fictional character.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

It's normal to a point. You can like a fictional character, like they're personality, looks, and sex appeal. But the day someone says that they're going to marry that character, make they're boyfriend/girlfriend dress up as that character, and live out their fantasy with them...that's a little to freaky.

You might say, How do you know this? Well I've seen some very rabid fans do this. For instance one Gojyo fanbrat had her boyfriend grow his hair out, dye his it red, pick up smoking and dress like him. A few months later once her Gojyo obsession had passed, she broke up with that boyfriend.

I admit, I like a lot of anime characters. I love them in the sence that they are my favorite characters and they have some personality traits that I like. But that's as far as I go. I mean, I wouldn't have anyone cosplay as one of them for fantasy purpouses or find some look alike and say right "I will mary that man...right now!" Those are the people who give liking fictional characters bad names and make the rest of them who happen to like them seem like weirdos to the rest of the world....

In short, It's normal if you can relize that they're not real and not try to make them that way....

I was speaking idiomatically.

I say it's perfectly normal. I have a lot of friends who admire fictional characters, but they don't love them.

Like Alice said... you can't love a fictional character. They don't exist. Moreso it should be described as infatuation, because, you want them, but you can't share thoughts & feelings with a fictional character. It just can't happen.

A huge chunk of the internet is bombarded with furry lovers as well. I see some of them saying they want to marry furries, or have sex with them badly. I'd say that's going insane - it would be normal to just admire them, draw non-pr0n images of them, etc.

Sadly to say, I think I classify myself as insane. There's a lot of furry/video game characters I seem to obsess over. That, and some characters from animated movies/TV shows. I remember I had a huge infatuation for Lisa Simpson for about a half-year, about two years ago. Somehow I'm glad I got over that...

Any anthromorphic furry is easy to fall in 'love' with - Krystal from Star Fox Adventures being an example. And I especially seem to love Pokemon. Like Treecko - the green gecko in my avatar.

Haha... I'd tell more, but this post would be excessively long, and I think it already is.

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oh man, I failed to refresh the page to see MeTheGelfling's post ealier. And since it's directed at me, I feel obligated to reply.

First, let me try and answer the misunderstanding with the way I'm using the word "obsession":

Originally Posted by MeTheGelfling

So the idea of putting others before yourself equates to obsession? That's a pretty twisted perspective.

I don't know what that little math equation was about but equating caring for something and being obsessed with it are extremely different. Obsession implies compulsive behavior based on emotion which is not even close to love.

I am aware that the term obsession is defined as something along the line as:

"A persistent, repetitive, and unwanted thought. Cannot be eliminated by logic or reasoning."

"A recurring, unwanted idea that cannot be eliminated. Obsessive ideas are often unreasonable and disturbing. Preoccupation with an obsessive idea can interfere with normal daily activities."

and a slew of others that poped up in Google, and even though I could make an argument bending them in the way I want, I won't bother. Because the point I want to make is this: I only hijacked the word Obsesion to use as a blanket term meaning "careing deeply about something". I did that because I can't think of another word that means exactly that. So, by my definition, I would certainly hope that AliceNWonderland "cares deeply" about her family. Otherwise, she doesn't have much of a leg to stand on, does she?

I know you're thinking of obsession with all the negetive connotations it comes with, and it's my fault for not making my definition clearer, but I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of

Originally Posted by Whinehurst

You must be thinking that obsession is always a bad thing, and it's not. I just think the meaning behind the word implies a massive amount of careing.

to try and claify what I meant.

I agree the little math equation was pretty lame, but I am obviously having trouble translating my opinions into words.

Originally Posted by MeTheGelfling

The idea about love being a feeling is silly. If loving somebody was merely a feeling, then you couldn't promise to love someone any more than you could promise to have a headache for the rest of your life.

Wait, are you serious? I didn't expect anybody to have trouble wrapping their mind around the concept that I mean feeling as an emotion and not feeling as in "feeling hungry" or "feeling tired" And if you're going to turn around and tell me that Love isn't an emotion then I will go throw myself off my third story balcony. And I think that's all that needs to be said about that...


Lastly, and I'm not entirely sure if this bit was aimed at me or not, but just in case...

Originally Posted by MeTheGelfling

This argument about whether or not love is a feeling has never been settled on this board because every now and then another 14 year old comes along feeling reflective and they figure that the overwhelming emotions associated with a first huge crush, or even worse, when some kid on here gets laid for the first time at 17 and thinks they have "love" all figured out.

As I was literally the first to admit, I have never (and I use the word never in the only sense it can be used) had a relationship with a girl or even a boy - so I can't deduce why you'd go and compare me with a 14 year old with a crush or, worse yet, a 17 year old who got laid for the first time. I think, and this seems perfectly logical, that as a neutral observer I am in a good postion to make these kinds of observations. You know, so I don't let personal feelings, sorry, emotions get in the way and all that. I'm basing all this on logical reasoning.

FELIPE NO

http://joshcubefails.ytmnsfw.com/

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

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And if you're going to turn around and tell me that Love isn't an emotion then I will go throw myself off my third story balcony.

Come back here after you've been with the same person for twelve years and tell me if you still think that love is an emotion.

I think that in the beginning there needs to be strong emotions or real love won't develop, but those feelings you're placing so much emphasis on fade with time.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Winehurst

... I have never ... had a relationship with a girl or even a boy
...
I'm basing all this on logical reasoning.

Therein lies your problem and the reason why Alice's argument is far more valid than yours ever will be.
You see, it's perfectly natural to reason through photosynthesis, cellular respiration, nuclear fusion and artificial insemination - not love. Scientific concepts can be reasoned through but love needs to be lived through to be understood. One simply needs to accept this and trust the wisdom and life experience of older people.
I sympathize with you, good sir. I, too, have no experience with love or romantic involvements, but I understand that I cannot discuss either until I actually experience them.

On the topic at hand ... I can certainly say I've been attached to a fictional characters. But love ... pfft. The very idea seems too ridiculous to discuss.
It's rather normal, me thinks, to be attached to a well written chracter. I found myself identifying and relating to Anil from Oondaatje's Anil's Ghost. I will admit I've felt a certain emotional attachment to her, but I consider that to be a sign of great literature, not of my flawed outlook on life.

How ya doing, buddy?