Forum Game: Corrupt Wish

Granted, but you see your mom and dad fooling around perfectly clearly a day later.

I wish I had a big bag of potato chips.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The potato chips literally all go collectively straight to your thighs, clogging most of your blood vessels and causing a massive heart attack. You die. Play again?

I wish my paypal account wouldn't take so fucking long to be unlocked.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

But when it is finally unlocked, you come to find out that Paypal itself has been bought out by a different company which chooses to sell your credit card info to the highest bidder. You then receive thousands upon thousands of credit card offers that bury you in a heap of paper and fake plastic cards that traumatize you, leaving you with only a unique phobia of mail and no online money services.

I wish that I didn't live in a trailer park.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

But when you finally move out to a mansion you bought for next to nothing, you realize it's been built on an old indian graveyard. Spirits hunt your mansion and take pleasure into making things disappear and other mild stuff until a freak snowstorm in the middle of summer suddently makes you prisoner, at which point family members begin to die after another in weird circumstances. You yourself finally go crazy and start hacking at everything you see with an axe, until you're discovered by the cops, blamed for the murders and send to a mental institution for the rest of your life. Of course the spirits decide to follow you and make what remains of your life a living hell, even moreso than otherwise.

I wish I were emperor of the world.

How ya doing, buddy?

Wish granted.

You are the emperor of a post-apocalyptic world where gasoline is the only form of economy, the world's population reduced by 90%, and barren deserts are as far as the eye can see. Your leadership came from overthrowing the previous emperor. However, this was first caused by an abritrarily large chain of violent coups which killed off the remaining 9.99% of the Earth's population. After realizing you are only the leader of yourself, you become clinically insane from loneliness and decide to kill yourself in order to overthrow, well, yourself.

I wish I had supernatural strength.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Identity Crisis

Wish granted.
I wish I had supernatural strength.

Granted. Your new situation gets the media atention and soon, thousands of people feel the need to prove they're stronger than you. You start making money accepting challenges from those people. However, at the peak of your fame, your manager backstabs you and leave you bankrupt. As the novelty of your strenght has already faded away, you spend the rest of your days zapping in a dirty sofa.

I wish I had an evil twin.

How ya doing, buddy?

Granted. However, your twin proceeds to donate every single last penny of his income to charity, helps disabled children participate in sports, organises fundraisers for hospitals and volunteers at a downtown soup kitchen. This earns him worldwide renown and eventually nets him the Nobel Prize. You are jealous of everything he has achieved which you have not, and you confront him and attack him with a boxcutter, leaving him dead from slash wounds. As a result, you're committed to a life sentence in prison.

I wish the wish I am making now was immune to corruption.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Wish cannot be accepted Corruption Immunity.def not found. Program shutting down. *you die soon after*

I wish that Guilty Gear XX#Slash had a story mode.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Krelian

Granted. However, your twin proceeds to donate every single last penny of his income to charity, helps disabled children participate in sports, organises fundraisers for hospitals and volunteers at a downtown soup kitchen. This earns him worldwide renown and eventually nets him the Nobel Prize. You are jealous of everything he has achieved which you have not, and you confront him and attack him with a boxcutter, leaving him dead from slash wounds. As a result, you're committed to a life sentence in prison.

I wish the wish I am making now was immune to corruption.

Wait, how is that an evil twin?

So you wish for your wish (immune to corruption) is immune to corruption? Okay. Granted. However, you have gained nothing.

I was my lava lamp would work right.

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Your wishes are both granted, though Krelian's is immediately corrupted by the dominance of masa's wish. As Guilty Gear gains a story mode, the entire revolution of the series also taints its quality thereby leaving Guilty Gear to squander in bargain bins and is as common at pawn shops as Hanson's "Middle of Nowhere" album.

:EDIT:
Acronym's wish is granted, but upon working correctly, as Acronym gazes intently into the beautiful lavaciousness, the bottle overheats exploding liquid hot lava all over scarring our hero's face for eternity. This is the first in a string of many self-destructive events that leave Acronym alone and horrifying to young children who say "dear God, what is that thing" in his perfect ears.

I wish I weren't a liar.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Acro-nym

Wait, how is that an evil twin?

He's evil in that it ruins what he desired in the wish, and that he's obviously superior to the original. =o

Originally Posted by Dayvon

I wish I weren't a liar.

Paradoxically, you're lying about wishing you were not a liar, so you are fully intent on lying. Regardless, fulfilling the wish you're unable to ever lie again, and you're placed into an amusing role similar to that of what's-his-name in that nineties movie called Liar Liar or something.

I wish I had an ice-cold can of Relentless right now.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Granted, but it does not live up to your expectations. You continue to consume it at a disturbing rate, intent on finding that one perfect can, and you eventually consume so much that you burst, and reveal that you can consume enough to cause your body to *pop*

I wish that I had a Digital Tablet

I was speaking idiomatically.

Yes, you get it and you put every bit of info you have on it and the battery melts in your hand, thus causing you to have surgery and never be able to type with any speed at all ever again.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

And your wish?

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Will never be wished


I wish that there were less Drunk Drivers

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by masa

I wish that there were less Drunk Drivers

Wish granted. However, the government claims that this can only be accomplished by banning all products that contain alcohol including Nyquil and rubbing alcohol (not the brights people in the nation). People begin to suffer greatly and the economy comes crashing down due to lack of workers. India is now the greatest super power and main source for all computer questions.

I wish we had a better public transportation system.

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Granted, your public transportation system is upgraded beyon even the Japanese. Shortly after Jamie Foxx passes through your town and buys property. With the impressive Public Transportation, he decides to make that his permenat residence. Despite all his precautions, Access Hollywood learns of this, and blabs to all the states. The Paparazzi come by the thousands, overcrowding the town to the point of bursting.

I wish that my PS2 wasn't about to break.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by masa

I wish that my PS2 wasn't about to break.

You're wish is granted. Instead of your PS2 being about to break, it does break.

I wish it would snow here.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wish granted. However, that hint of snow you wished for turns into a massive blizzard which snows the city in. You think: "Excellent! No one has to work or go to school at all!" Your optimism is quickly replaced by despair when the snow incessantly falls heavily for a month. The city is too slow to implement an evacuation plan and no word of this ever reaches the outside world. All the citizens are now forced to live under a 50 km height of snow.

I wish I had satellite tv.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Summonmaster

Wish granted. However, that hint of snow you wished for turns into a massive blizzard which snows the city in. You think: "Excellent! No one has to work or go to school at all!" Your optimism is quickly replaced by despair when the snow incessantly falls heavily for a month. The city is too slow to implement an evacuation plan and no word of this ever reaches the outside world. All the citizens are now forced to live under a 50 km height of snow.

I wish I had satellite tv.

Your wish is granted. Later you find that your satellite tv is actually sending secret alien signals to Alpha Centauri, it so happens that a patrolling Zentraedi scout ship is passing by and picks up the signal, creating a sign for space aliens to home in on earth and take over your house. You are captured and are brought on to the mothership of the Zentraedi where Exodol questions your very punitive presence on Earth. You experience the worse human torture ever conceived by these brutal aliens.

I wish I had FFXII for North America PS2s right now.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Wish Granted, but the person you bought it from put viruses in all of them, making them explode. This reign of terror kills the VG industry and nothing is left but the legacy of SEGA. This is cool, but they become so rare that they appear in museums everywhere, so no one can play on them.


I wish that there was chaos the world over. Anarchy in otherwords.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Wish granted, but suddenly a massive ceasefire magically takes place and world peace arrives. All weapons are totally eradicated from the face of the earth, and the world's anger subsides instantly. Everyone mindlessly lives on with eternal love as their only thought, the end.

I wish Olive Garden restaurants would re-open in Canada.

FELIPE NO

Can you put stipulations on your wish?

You get a turkey sandwich but then you quickly don't have one (as it is gobbled in seconds and is now being acidified inside your stomach).

I wish that I could fully function without sleep.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Granted.. However, your ability to stay awake and feel normal at all times results in you becoming utterly bored during most nights. Nearly everyone else sleeps during this time, but you don't need to. When you try to, it becomes difficult since there's no fatigue to help you get to sleeping. You decide that making yourself pass out by using drugs is the next best thing, but this obviously makes you unhealthy. The drugs mysteriously disfigure your face also, so people can't pass by you without saying "LOL U UGLY!"

I wish I had an endless supply of hot & sour soup.

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Granted, but then your soup turns cold and sweet... Then I pee in it and say it's chicken broth.

I wish that people on another board I'm doing this at would actually remember to make a wish...

There's nowhere I can't reach.