If you want it, steal it!

My car got nicked and torched while I was at uni which was somewhat annoying. I found out about a month later though that the kid who nicked it had stolen a car belonging to a local gang leader and had got himself shot. That's karma for you I guess.

How ya doing, buddy?

I can't really recall anyone stealing anything truly worthwhile of mine (except for this one retard who stole my cupcakes in a basketball camp. I still remember his face and if I saw him today I might even punch him. I was young!), but I'll tell you a theft that occurred to me that was pretty weird.

I took out "my" baritone from the school's set of instruments so I could practice at home, and I stopped to chat with some friends in the middle of the campus. I set the baritone in its case by a wall and left for a few minutes. When I got back, it wasn't there anymore. It certainly couldn't have been a teacher or an honest student who took it, since the name of the school was plastered all over the case. I was forced to conclude that someone STOLE an old and dingy baritone. I told the teacher about what happened and he just went, "Um, well, try to find it" and we all kind of forgot about the deal. As far as I know, that baritone has never been returned, and I've never gotten in trouble for it.

Hooray.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I've never really 'stolen' anything before, but I do have a lot of 'borrowed' items that will probably never be returned. My friend Jakob let me borrow some books from him at one time years ago... needless to say, I still have them. Also, I've obtained a bunch of classic SNES games this way as well, such as Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past & Chrono Trigger. The same thing has happened to me as well... my copy of FF8 was gone for a couple of years and some random kid from town dropped it back off at my house. I don't even remember loaning it out! I wasn't so lucky with my copy of Parasite Eve & Command & Conquer Red Alert Retailation, which are still being 'borrowed'.

Stealing from other people is always bad business in my opinion, but... I have no problem stealing from corporations. I'm pretty sure they don't even notice besides wanting to have as much money/products as is humanly possible. Hurrah for corporations!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I accidentally stole a load of shit from my friends when I moved away from the states At my friend Justin's house we both had all our Pokémon cards spread out all over his room's floor, and when the time came for me to go home I threw all mine together. When I got back it transpired that I had a fuckload of his in there, too, and I never got a chance to return them. Later on, when I returned to say hi to people around six months down the line, I had my copy of Pokémon Stadium at another friend's house while staying the night. When the time came to haul ass back to the hotel, I saw a copy on the carpet and stuffed it in my bag. Got to the airport and opened my bag - Two copies of the game were in there. I still feel guilty for never returning it.

And, oddly enough, the third stealing incident I can recall was also Pokémon related, except I was the victim this time. I was the first person in my school to have an English language copy of Gold, and had it with me in the school computer room. I left it by my keyboard, left the room for twenty minutes to say hi to my older brother (who'd just came down from the accompanying high school - strangely I am now the same age as he was when he came down to visit me, and I'm living in his old dorm! creepy). Came back in and someone had nicked it; never found it again. Worst part is that this was a prestigious private prep school filled with rich kids with overpaid divorced fathers who'd just buy them the damned game anyway, but noooo, turns out they were never taught stealing was wrong. fuckers

edit: Oh, and not exactly stealing, but in 2004 I'd left a glass of water and my phone next to each other on the table in my dorm. I got back from a run and some total mother fucker had fucking PUT MY FUCKING PHONE IN THE FUCKING WATER. The screen was dead and it didn't do anything apart from incessantly vibrating when I turned it on. fucking housemaster didn't even make a fucking effort to find out who did it. ahhh

I was speaking idiomatically.

Had my $1700 stereo ripped out my car a few years back which included...

Panasonic CD deck
400W Pheonix Gold Amplifier
10' Subwoofer
Random CDs
Guess sunglasses
Wallet

Since then I don't like people going near my shit. I basically view everyone as suspicious now. If I ever found out who stole my shit I'd go to work on that punk's ass with a blow torch and a pair of pliers, Pulp Fiction style.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Ha! I completely forgot, I had my car stolen once. It wasn't the fatmobile, but rather the ghetto mom. The ghetto mom was an 86' Toyota Camry stationwagon, held together by rust. I couldn't lock it up because all the locks were broken. Even the ignition could be started with a screwdriver. To add insult to injury, the thing couldn't go faster than 40mph. So it was stolen, found in the ghetto, missing a battery. How fuckin silly.

FELIPE NO

The first thing I ever stole when I was a wee sprout was a demo CD out of a Next Gen magazine. I'm such a little bastard.

Other than that... I don't really steal anything PHYSICAL. It's kind of a low thing to do, and I don't really need anything that I'm THAT desperate for that I need to steal it. I'd say my best "digital" crime was going into the graphic design lab at my school, plugging in my iPod, and taking a ton of fonts and software. Bah hahaha.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I stole jerky from a supermarket once! I'm such a rebel! :P Then again, I download all my music, movies, and TV (unless they're really good). :P

About three years ago I was living in a bedsitting room, and I left the window open when I left for school. I came back to find that another tenant had climbed in and left with my PS2, my games, my brother's DVDs, and my mp3 player. After that, I trashed the room worse than they did. And of course, nobody saw/heard/committed anything.

Thieves aren't quite the lowest form of life. Rapists, murderers, pedophiles, politicians, and people in marketing, to name a few, far surpass them. But they're still scum of the earth.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Senorita Preved

I used to work at a store where I could play whatever I wanted.
Everyday I used to tote my entire Faye Wong collection (every cd + a lot of random singles, remix albums and shit where she only had like one song on it) to work. I accidentally left it at work one day never to be seen again

It was seriously the worst thing ever...who the fuck would like to steal Faye wong cds?

ONE DAY I WILL FIND YOU AND PUT YOU IN AN UNFLATTERING SWEATER, UNAMED VILLAN

Coming from a fellow Fayenatic, that's got to be pretty horrible. If my Faye Wong CD's ever got stolen I'd be pretty damn pissed and everything. Nobody messes around with my Faye CD's. Why would anyone steal those CD's, because I don't think pawn shops would take Chinese music CD's right? Assuming you live outside of Asia, that is.

How ya doing, buddy?

I stole a PSX game but ended up giving it to the Goodwill out of guilt.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm not proud to say it, but I've stolen plenty of stuff over the years from both work and just in general...

Probably a good 200 dollars worth in clothes from my employer. And I've stolen little things like make up, but that was way back in the day. I was probably 13 or so and didn't know better. Well, I did. But everyone makes mistakes.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

i think stealing is awesome. i've stolen ipods, psps, nintendo handhelds, digital cameras etc from my own friends and i don't feel any guilt from doing it. if i can do it without getting caught why not?

Most amazing jew boots

Friends like you are why I don't have my Starfox cartridge anymore...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Little has been stolen from me. A hard to find DVD was once, that was really irritating. Three years later and I still havn't run across another copy. Worse though, a gift I gave to a friend was stolen... that was pretty crappy.

I actually have stolen a couple of times. I'd never steal from an individual though. If the line is ridiculously long and other tellers are just sitting on their ass, I'll just walk out with the item, especially in grocery stores. They often like to only have 1 to 2 lanes open. Its sick. If its something that can't be stolen, I just put it down on the nearest table and walk out. I hate waiting in long lines.

At restaraunts, if I have to wait more than ten minutes after I ask for the check I'll walk out. If they catch up before I'm out the door, then I'll still pay.

It's not a money thing for me. Its a time thing. I can't stand my time being wasted for arbitrary reasons. Lazy cashiers and lazy waitstaff will always tempt me to just walk out.

I have accidently stolen two of those little stress squezers from people. There fun to play with. I'll walk otu the front door playing with one without me or the other person realizing.

edit: oh ya. When I was young I caught some kid trying to steal my dad's vehicle. Just a couple weeks ago, the neighbor yelled at some kid trying to steal my vehicle. Fucking kids.

FELIPE NO

I have not stolen really, but I did have some really wierd things stolen from me one time. I usually lock my moutain bike up on the racks at school, and one day when I come out to grab in and head home, I find the following stolen:

My seat
My chain
My front intertube(not the actual wheel)
My handlebars

It pissed me off to no end, and all I have to say is that somebody had way too much free time on their hands.

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Just before I quit my job at Rhino Video Games, I stole around $200-300 worth of stuff. I wonder if I can still remember everything... Let's see:

Megaman X Command Mission, Silent Hill 3 and God of War for PS2, Disney's Aladdin, Castlevania 4 and Alien vs. Predator for SNES, Megaman Zero 1-4, Gunstar Super Heroes, Sonic Advance, Super Mario World, and Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga for GBA, Shadows of the Empire, Donkey Kong 64, Blast Corps, Super Mario 64, Quest 64, a memory card and expansion pak for N64, Halo 2, (I accidentally left mine in my Xbox when I traded it toward my 360, so technically I was just taking it back.) Rhapsody, Tactics Ogre, Um Jammer Lammy, Parappa the Rapper, Soul Reaver, Resident Evil 1-3, and Megaman Legends for PS1, 3 wireless 360 controllers, a year subscription to Xbox Live Gold, a blue GBA SP, a DS and Animal Crossing Wild World, Gauntlet, Megaman 2, Battle Chess, Super Mario Bros 1 and 3 for NES, and I believe that's it. I'll edit if I remember anything else later.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Stuff Stolen From Me:
Several Movies including Rush Hour 2, Planet of the Apes Remake, and some other ones I can't think of.
Games: Super Smash Bros (Fucker borrowed it and then 'moved' grrrr ), some PSX/PS2 games (Although they are technically at my 'bro's house, but they are basically long gone).
Other: A Wallet, Bike (Twice!), CD Player (I think), A Gameboy Color, a Gameboy SP (I have bad luck with them for some reason), some GBA Games, and tools. A mini TV and Microwave oven.

Yeah that's why I don't let people borrow my original stuff anymore.
Only stuff I give is copyable stuff (Movies or games).

Now for the other side, AKAIK (Due to bad memory or just forgetting), The only stuff I remember stealing is food/candy from the local convience store, and occasionally small stuff from Supermarkets/Walmart type stores.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by tommboi

i think stealing is awesome. i've stolen ipods, psps, nintendo handhelds, digital cameras etc from my own friends and i don't feel any guilt from doing it. if i can do it without getting caught why not?

I hereby declare you the shittiest friend on the planet.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by tommboi

i think stealing is awesome. i've stolen ipods, psps, nintendo handhelds, digital cameras etc from my own friends and i don't feel any guilt from doing it. if i can do it without getting caught why not?

I used to have a "friend" who thought stealing from his own friends was "awesome" too. I took his ass 30 miles out of town on a cold winter night and 3 other friends and I beat the shit out of him and left him stripped down to his socks. Why couldn't he steal from OTHER PEOPLE'S friends? At least he was wise enough to return my watch; that shit was worth more than his life was.

Also, with all this talk of stolen bikes it reminds me of how it is at UCSB. I guess there's a college-wide unspoken agreement that bicycles are EVERYONE'S PROPERTY. I was walking with my friend Eddie's then-girlfriend to one of the dorms to pick up some books she'd left with a classmate and on the way there she just picked up a random bike and rode it to the dorm. I was bewildered as to what the hell she was seemingly stealing a bike but then she dropped the bike at the door and when we left the dorm she picked up a different bike and rode that one home. When we got to the apartment she just left the bike unlocked in the parking lot and I just asked, "Kris... Are you not gonna lock that?" She just said, "Nah... It'll be gone anyway and I can just grab another one tomorrow."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Man, now that I think about it, I've had a lot of stuff stolen from me. While DVD's were common (I thought about doing a sign-out sheet, and making people who borrowed my movies sign for it, but then just stopped loaning them out), some of the most memorable things that I remember getting stolen or "stolen" from me:

My bike was stolen when I was in the 3rd grade. What really sucked was I saw someone riding it about a week later. I knew it was mine cause I recognized the handlebars and the shape of the bike, except it was spraypainted black (my bike was purple). I know some of you would be like "I'd kick his ass", except that he was much bigger than me, and he was riding with about 3 other guys behind him, while I was by myself (which would've meant I'd get my ass kicked). I just let it slide, and figured that someday I'll just randomly blow shit up around that neighborhood (luckily I've "grown up", but man, I had some pretty twisted revenge ideas. It's probably better that I don't reveal it lol).

While on leave in the Army, I brought my N64 home, along with a lot of my games. I let one of my friends from high school borrow 3 of them (I don't remember them all anymore, but I think 2 of them were Rogue Squadron and F-Zero X. I don't remember the third game anymore unfortunately). I kept calling his house and even went to his house several times, but he never answered his phone or door. And despite leaving messages, he never called me back, and after about a week and a half, I had to go back to Korea. Kind of pissed me off that he would apparently disappear off the face of the earth like that (he did email me occasionally, but now that I think about it, I wasn't important enough to people to get much stuff from them, despite me writing a lot).

One of my female friends needed to borrow $70 to pay for her dorm. She has a job and all, but her paycheck wasn't going to come in until Friday, and she needed the money on Tuesday. She also told me a story of how this other guy I knew apparently did all these creepy things to her (such as knocking on her suite door, and then sitting next to her while she slept, until she got up. Until that happened, she told me she didn't bother locking her door, despite me telling her before lol), and earlier loaned her about $200. She apparently kept putting off paying him (and when she did, she wrote a check which then apparently bounced). Then she told me that he went and got a lawyer to demand payment, not to mention pay the lawyer fee (I don't remember what it was). She then said she called her mom, who then told her to pay that money NOW.

Anyway, I fell for her sob story, and loaned her the $70. She offered to write me a post-dated check for it, but me being the trusting friend, declined it, and told her that she could simply pay me back after she got her paycheck, cause I wasn't concerned about the money.

Well, that was about a year and a half ago, and she's mysteriously vanished as well. She transferred to another college, and any messages I left her never got received. I did have her home phone number, but I didn't want to call her parents (her dad is kind of like Peter Griffin's dad on Family Guy, yes, devout Catholic). When I did manage to reach her a few times, she continually claimed that she sent a check in the mail, and I have never, ever seen anything (so don't believe anyone who says "check's in the mail" lol).

As a result of this stuff, I'm really skeptical about loaning people stuff unless I can absolutely trust them (not to mention know where they live, so I can go there in case they "borrow" something from me and never bring it back), and I don't loan money to anyone anymore, other than my immediate family (but even then I'm skeptical cause my older brothers have a habit of borrowing and not paying back money they borrow. Hell, one of my brothers used my mom's credit to buy about $2100 worth of new computer stuff, despite the fact that he still owes her about $2k for a car she helped him buy. I have a feeling he won't pay her back, and is going to fuck up her credit because of that. And despite all that, she won't kick him out. Man, my mom is too nice )

And to all you people who think stealing is cool, screw you. I hope you get something valuable stolen from you someday, then you'll know what it's like when you steal stuff from other people. Or better yet, get caught in the act. Then let's see if you like jail or getting your ass kicked.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The most valueable (and probably only, now that i think about it) thing that's ever been stolen from me was my first copy of Starcraft. It wasn't actually stolen from me, i lent it to a friend, and it was stolen from his house. I know it wasn't him who was just hiding it from me, cause shit had been going missing from his house for a while, but it got worse after Starcraft disappeared. After a while we caught the guy who had been doing it, but he claimed he pawned everything he had stolen at that point. I was sorta pissed, but i got another copy that year for my birthday, so whatevs.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

My friend taxes anything she likes. I love watching her do it XD Bloody pro. She can slip jewerally down her sleeve like it was never there to begin with.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Fatt

I remember back in high school, my sophmore year, I had my CD player and my enitre p-funk collection stolen. It was especially upsetting because I had this rare 4 disc professionally recorded bootleg of a George Clinton/Parliment/Funkadelic show recorded in (I think) 82' or so. It was a fuckin amazing show. Somebody grabbed it while I was having lunch. I bet they were just after the CD player, and probably just threw away the CDs..

Oh man. I would cry. No one steals the P-Funk, that's just a sin.

I had my backpack stolen my freshman year. Most valuable things were my Ti-83+ and my CD player with copy of The Wall in it. It was nice not having to do my homework for a few days, though.

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Originally Posted by Oric

Oh man. I would cry. No one steals the P-Funk, that's just a sin.

I had my backpack stolen my freshman year. Most valuable things were my Ti-83+ and my CD player with copy of The Wall in it. It was nice not having to do my homework for a few days, though.

Oh god. Now you just reminded me that my entire Pink Floyd collection was stolen in high school too. Why?! Why?! Why would anybody steal Parliment, Funkadelic, and Pink Floyd?! It's... Like stealing a bible from a church!

Blasphemy!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Fatt

It's... Like stealing a bible from a church!

Blasphemy!

See... I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about stealing a bible from a church. It's like swiping a Benjamin from a bank. You know they have a stash of them in the back and that shit won't hurt them in the least bit.

There's nowhere I can't reach.