[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

5 Dice Rolls *sneak attack

If I was going to die, I was going to die well. And by well, I mean while cutting some elemental to ribbons. I couldn't help it. I laughed while I lunged forward. My initial strike caught the thing in the legs, the follow up to the stomach area, if it even had one. Gods above, I was enjoying this.

Totes damage 40.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls magic animal spear

Things were not looking good. The rest of the party wouldn't last long with two of the best fighters down. Uxig was surrounded now, and Beefi wasn't particularly easy to get at either, but he had to do something.

Move action and Standard Action - Move and a move down around dragon to get to Beefi.
Minor Action - Heal check to allow Beefi to use his second wind.

"You better appreciate this, pot roast," he said as he applied pressure in an attempt to stem the bleeding.

Heal check = 11. Good enough! Beefi gets to use his second wind, but doesn't gain the defensive bonus from it.

Action Point - Call of the Ghost Wolf on Dragon.
Garold's spear bounces harmlessly off of the dracolich's hide, but a wolf spirit appears next to Slim anyway.
Wolf Spirit occupies square I-33. Wolf Spirit provides flanking bonus, and any attacks made while flanking with it do an extra 2d6 damage.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

4 Dice Rolls Save>

"You stupid dumbshit goddamn MOTHERFUCKER," I screamed, launching into the air and slashing with my blade at two of the bastards as I landed.

Windwalker to G-31
Sword Burst on Geonids B & E
B = 17 + 10 = 27>20 HIT (2 + 6)/2 = 4 DMG
E = 4 + 10 = 14<20 MISS
Save vs. Weakened

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

4 Dice Rolls Geonid damage

The Minotaur's eyes snapped open and he circled his legs, coming to his feet in a single, fluid motion. He fixed his gaze on the dragon, now foolishly standing with it's back to him and set off at a dead run, swinging his mace in a broad arc designed to send the evil beast flying.

Second Wind, stand as a minor with Agile Recovery, move north to dragon, Brutal Slam.
Hit! 2D8+2D6+9 damage, dragon is knocked two squares north and prone, Geonid B takes 1D8+9 damage.
16 Damage to dragon, 12 to Geonid.

So apoplectic with rage was the Barbarian, his companions could barely make out what he was saying as he screamed out "FOUR" at the top of his voice.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

7 Dice Rolls mesmerize... fuck it, Beefi

Beefi springs to his feet with a fury, hurtling into the dragon once more. Without all that extra blood weighing him down he catches the beast by surprise, sending it sprawling into its nearest lackey. The geonid is smashed into pebbles; at the opposite end of the melee, Sam's rapier cuts another geonid cleanly in half.

Geonids B & F killed

The surviving geonids converge on Gra-Fa-Zut, shocked and appalled by his sudden vulgar outburst. Like most creature of elemental earth, geonids tend to be old-fashioned and conservative; there was only one place for that kind of language, and, well — if there was a marriage today, they hadn't been invited, so it was still upsetting.

Geonid C Tentacle: 9 damage to Gra-Fa-Zut

The dracolich clumsily gets to its feet once again, stomping north toward Sam while casually addressing Beefi over its shoulder.

"Mr. Cow! I'm so glad you're all right. I didn't know if you'd survive, after this awful halfling shot you in the face — not just once, but three times, with bolts he spit on because he hates you so much. Also, he murdered your parents. He told me over brunch last week. I promised to keep it a secret but our friendship is too important to me, Mr. Cow!"

Beefi hadn't known Sam long, but the halfling clearly had a violent streak and an affinity for sharp things. It was entirely possible that he was the culprit!

Stand up
Action point to move
Beefi dominated (save ends)

Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20 (KO), Beefi 17 (Dominated), Geonids 15, Dracolich 14

I was speaking idiomatically.

5 Dice Rolls *opening move

I caught a glimpse of the dracolich yapping over his shoulder and took the opening for what it was. I dove inside his reach, lashing out viciously at his neck initially, my blade biting a deep gash and causing blood to spurt out and splash on the floor. I couldn't help but smirk as I spun, driving a second strike deep into his belly, preparing myself for the retaliation that was coming.

Swing 1 = bloodbath. Swing 2 = Opening Move. Both connect.

Move to A -33.
Bloodbath for 10 damage
3 for sneak attack
3 ongoing damage SAVE ENDS (yaaay. 3. fucking dice.)
AP
Bloodbath. 17 damage.
Sam gets +5 to AC and Reflex

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6 Dice Rolls dog breath

Garold had been lucky so far in that the dragon had largely ignored him. He figured the more targets presented to it, the less likely its attention would fall on him.

Move action - move to square south of Slim

Garold wasn't as familiar with reptilian physiology as he was with mammalian, so he tried to think of a way to jolt Slim awake without potentially causing more harm.

"Hmm..." He looked at the spirit he had summoned. "Wolf, lick his face!

Heal check = 18. Slim gets to use his second wind as a free action with no defense bonus.

Satisfied that he had resolved that situation, he returned his attention to the enemies. It had been bothering him the whole time, but this cave was completely devoid of bats. Maybe the dracolich really hated them. Time to find out!

Swarming bats centered on F-32
Geonids C, D, and E hit. Dracolich hit. 7 damage to all.
Geonid C slid one S. Geonid D slid one W. Geonid E slid one NE. Dracolich slid one S.

FELIPE NO

9 Dice Rolls Bare bottom Diplomacy for lulz

I thought for sure the over-sized rock formation's naughty tentacle was the last thing I'd ever feel. But fortunately I'm tougher than that.

"ONE HP IS ALL I NEED!
COME AND KNOCK ME DOWN, YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!"

While shifting away, I dropped my pants to moon the Geonids with luscious Genasi booty.

Thunderclap Strike vs. C, D and E (need 8+)
-- C & E take 14 thunder damage and are knocked prone.
Action Point: Sword Burst vs C, D and E (need 7+ on D and 5+ on C & E)
-- C D & E take 8 damage.
Minor to moon the Geonids (Diplomacy check why not?)
Shift to E-30

Note: Activate Horn Tusk Hide Armor's Melee Basic Attack vs D/E when (not if ) GFZ is KOed.
Note 2: If GFZ miraculously stays conscious, and a marked Geonid hits someone else, activate immediate reaction to teleport adjacent and attack.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

4 Dice Rolls *damage

Less than pleased by his dog breath scented wake up call Slim climbs Groggily to his feet. Seeing the swordmage actually doing something not pole related for once he gives out a bit of encouragement.

Spend surge then stand up and use inspiring word on GFZ.

Hey keep up the good work on that not being a cunt thing you're trying out!

That taken care of he turns his attention to the dracolich.

Dragon breath eh? Two can play that game.


flames of purity straight north catching geonid E and C. 21 damage to both and +7 hp to GFZ

35 total healing to GFZ

Jam it back in, in the dark.

11 Dice Rolls sam save

The Five pull back from the brink of disaster. Working together, the group disperses and destroys most of the geonids threatening Gra-fa-zut, while Slim's journey to the last of the dead is interrupted by a SPOOKY GHOST DOG. Opening his eyes to behold a NIGHTMARISH HOUND FROM THE SPIRIT WORLD, Slim immediately springs to his feet and barfs fire pretty much everywhere. It's pretty horrible. Let's never speak of it again.

Laughing manically, Sam dances easily around the dracolich, draining what little blood the creature has left.

"M-my blood! He cut out all my blood! Wait, wait. I don't actually need blood. False alarm."

A tiny trickle of some kind of black ichor oozes slowly out of one of the dragon's more grievous wounds, but it pays no attention.

Lunging at the halfling, Beefi only travels a few feet before nearly colliding head-on with Garold. The shifter instinctively ducks the mace swing Beefi levels at his head, and the barbarian snaps out of it, shaking his head in confusion.

All geonids except D killed; D bloodied
Beefi freed from domination

With no other geonids left to aid him, the last of the troupe does what it can to preserve itself. Shifting behind Gra-fa-zut, it seizes him by the neck, using him as a shield between itself and the intruders to the south.

14 damage to Gra-fa-zut; grabbed

Snarling, the dracolich seizes Sam in its filthy jaws, shaking him like a rag doll until Sam escapes the jagged fangs. Landing back on the floor, he scowls worriedly at a ragged gash on his arm. Some kind of infection was already taking root.

Satisfied that the halfling would cease to be a problem soon enough, the lich turns its attention on the lycanthropic thing that had stopped the pet barbarian in its tracks. Surely this one would be a worthwhile servant.

"Did you know? The kobold once cut down 20 trees for no reason! And then he dragged them all the way down a mineshaft so the decaying logs couldn't even fertilize the beautiful soil of the forest! It's obscene, really."

Slim shot a glance at Garold. He had done that, but only to piss off a druid. That wasn't the same as "no reason". The druid in question hadn't had a spear and a sudden case of the crazy eyes, of course.

"They were only small trees, not important ones! Little babies!"

This only seems to make Garold angrier, for some dumb reason.

20 damage to Sam; ongoing 10 necrotic damage (save ends)
Garold dominated (save ends)

Sam 13, Garold 6 (Dominated), Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20, Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll bonus health

THAT DRAGON IS DYNAMITE!

Shield of sacrifice draining one surge from myself and allowing both Beefi and GFZ to gain a surge +4 worth of healing. +5 AC to the three of us.

Rune of Healing to self +2 damage bonus to everyone but Sam and +25hp to me.

1......2........5!!

Throw the lit fuel tank at the dragon. Is it a holy bomb now thanks to my rune of endless fire?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Second wind, shift away.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls snap out of it?

Furious, Garold flings his spear at the little kobold. But the weapon goes right over his head, slicing into Gra-fa-zut's leg some distance away before hurtling right back to the seeker's hand. A cluster of writhing vines sprouts from the cave floor, their thorns dripping with toxins.

Sam makes his save vs. ongoing
Thorn Cloud Shot vs GFZ
12 damage to GFZ; 3x3 area surrounding him filled with poisonous thorn vines.
Garold fails his save vs. domination

Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20, Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14, Sam 13, Garold 6 (Dominated)

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls Miss damage

The minotaur was starting to feel better, his earlier injuries all but forgotten. He was still pissed off though, the dragon refused to fall apart under the flurry of blows he was launching at it and it was looking increasingly like he wasn't going to beat his personal dragon slaying record.

Ignoring the bewildered looking Shifter, Beefi set off at a jog towards the dragon again. Lowering his head as if to deliver another viscious charge attack, the barbarian side-stepped at the last minute, up behind the dragon, before swinging his mace in a wide arc at the back end of the creature.

Move to E-47, Pressing strike on dragon with initial 2 square shift due north to C-37.
That's got to be a miss, 1D8+9 (17) damage.

His side-step has unbalanced him more than he would ever admit in public and the mace swung high, merely grazing the monstrosity in front of him.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls Chaaaaaarge

My rage abruptly welled up within me. Perhaps it's the unfairness of the thing. The Dracolich hasn't even tried to brainwash me at all. This brought back unpleasant memories of my childhood, when "Grah! Fagsuit" was always the last Genasi picked for any activity. Why, doesn't he know I'd make a really dandy minion? Under his influence, I'd be able to lock down this so-called "Furious Five" in no time at all!

Temporarily bottling down my mutinous thoughts, I focus my attention on getting as far away from the overly-amorous geonid hugging me as I possibly can. It's not good for your reputation to have your adventuring companions catch you in an aroused state, after all.

Move: Escape attempt: Athletics (10+14=24) vs. Fortitude (18).
-- Success. Shift to F-32.
Charge Dracolich, ending at E-34.
-- Attach Melee Basic Attack (13+1+10=24<26). Miss.
Aegis of Assault on Dracolich (doesn't supersede D).

FELIPE NO

13 Dice Rolls GFZ's death save

Uxig flings the fuel tank at the dragon, lighting the fuse and tossing the tank with all his strength in a single motion. Alas, he has a little too much strength; the tank flies completely over the lich's head, smashing into the cave ceiling and exploding harmlessly in midair. An assortment of lovely stalactites rain down, however, pelting the dragon's bony hide.

22 damage to dracolich

Staggering on its feet, the last of the geonids looks around for an easy target. With a low grunt, it lunges at Sam with a clumsy haymaker. The rogue dodges easily.

Heaving its great bulk away from the minotaur, the dracolich looses another blast of necrotic filth from its rotting maw. Catching a face full of bile, Gra-fa-zut faints dead away — depriving Slim of the cover he was deriving from the taller man. The kobold was drenched in corrosive sludge, barely finding the strength to hold his maul up.

Confused by Garold's strange change of loyalties, Sam prepares to knock some sense back into the shifter. He'd need his crossbow, first. It's all he can do, though, to sheathe his rapier and stand there baffled for a moment. He feels so conflicted. Maybe this wasn't the best idea; the seeker would come to his senses without the need for further infighting.

Producing a buzzing hornet's nest from out of the thin air, Garold angrily smashes it over Slim's head. Already battered, it's all Slim can do to fight off the insects and maintain consciousness.

Suddenly, Garold snaps out of it. Glancing at confusion at the broken nest fragment in his hand, he guiltily tosses it away into the mists and shrugs.

Shift 1 east
Breath weapon vs. Slim and GFZ
32 damage to both; Slim bloodied/weakened, GFZ unconscious/dying
Sam dominated (ahaha I forgot he had melee out, waste of a domination there)
Sam saves vs domination
Biting Swarm vs Slim: 8 damage, -2 to attacks on Slim's next turn
Garold saves vs domination

Uxig 20, Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14, Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25 (KO)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls *oh my god I actual hit it

Thinking that at this point one of the many liquids leaking out of his body might be his brains Slim quickly chugs one of the more helpful looking potions he picked up earlier.

move t E-33

drink psychic resistance potion

His brain now properly coagulated it was time to get down to business.


I WOBBLE BUT I DON"T FALL DOWN BITCH!


WEEBLE RAGE! on dracolich 11 damage plus 10 because of weakness to radiant.
5 ongoing fire damage to dragon and I regen 3

Jam it back in, in the dark.

4 Dice Rolls more damage

The dragon seemed to be ignoring the barbarian, serving only to fuel his rage. Following the beast across the room, Beefi swung his mace in a massive, overhead swing, looking to destroy the monster once and for all.

Move east one, Avalanche strike
Oh, snap, that's gonna hurt

The mace of St Cuthbert rips through the dragon, sprayng chunks around the room. Exultant, Beefi threw his head back and cried "SIX" to whoever would listen.

Critical hit so 35 damage + 14 radiant damage = 56 total damage + Rampage feat grants free MBA
Boo, only 10 more damage.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

9 Dice Rolls geez sorry chanic

Slim charges into the dragon, the momentum hurling his maul upward into the beast's ribs. The lich issues a series of gagging sounds, extremely discomfited by his collapsed airway despite a lack of any real need to breathe.

"I think you've clogged something in there, green fella. Good job with the —"

"HURK. HURK. HURRRRRRRRRRRRGH—"

"DUCK!"

But the mace's warning was too late. Slim is engulfed in a point-blank torrent of sludge exploding out of the dragon's jaws. The kobold topples to the floor, his body a patchwork of vicious wounds. For a long moment it seems he may have been slain.

Just as the dragon turns to gloat, the kobold's motionless body draws in a ragged breath — his unbridled fury alone was slowly knitting his many injuries, but it was still a struggle.

"I really thought he was dead there for a minute. He's still mostly dead, I suppose."

"It's not so bad, being dead" Murray chimes in. "You save a lot on groceries. Pretty much all my bills are for the haberdashery, these days. Remind me to show you guys my collection."

Dragon bloodied, triggering Bloodied Breath
Slim fucking DIES from dragon breath
Triggers an interrupt healing surge from Phoenix Rage
+3 regen
Ends turn at -14, unconscious and dying
Against helpless GFZ lying on the floor I roll a natural 1, bwaaaa.

With the lich distracted by Uxig's stubborn refusal to die properly, Beefi takes the chance to strike a lasting blow. With a vicious overhead swing, the barbarian brings down the mace with all his strength on the dragon's flank. A violent shockwave rips through the thing's bony form and its fragile wings abruptly snap off and tumble to the cave floor, exploding into a heap of ancient dust and bone shards with the lich's necromantic magic to protect them.

"I... I wasn't using those anyway", the lich mutters, doing a poor job of masking the worry on its face. "What the — HOW AM I ON FIRE AGAIN?"

With the ridiculous spectacle going on before him, Sam doesn't notice the geonid taking another swing at him. That rocky fist would leave a bruise, but it was nothing to worry about. He'd had worse in bar fights. Really pointless bar fights. With pixies. He wasn't using the sugar packets but that didn't mean you could just take them without asking!

10 damage to Sam from bein' facepunched

"I left you dying on the floor, cow. The shifter gives you an opportunity to leave, and you continue tickling me with that little club of yours. This time you'll stay down."

The lich vomits another storm of toxic goo onto the minotaur, who just stands there looking unimpressed.

"Soon. That was... a warning shot. Yes. Your friend the shifter will finish you off! Not because I can't, or anything. Just for... irony. Or something. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING."

29 damage to Beefi from dragon breath; weakened (save ends)
Garold dominated again (save ends) (sorry!)

Sam 13, Garold 6 (DOM), Gra-fa-zut 25 (KO), Uxig 20 (KO), Beefi 17 (WEAK), Geonid 15, Dracolich 14

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

3 Dice Rolls *Sneak attack

"Balls to this." I simply stuck my blade into the dragon and guided him towards the dude who just punched me in the face. "Murray. Tell him he sucks."

Slide to A-33.
Low Strike.

Damage =25
Slide Dragon towards genoid.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

4 Dice Rolls uxig wake up?

"This guy says you suck! I'm not sayin' it. He's saying it. I'm just, you know, passing it on, seein' as he's a little busy an' all."

Garold takes leave of his wits again, flinging his spear across the cave at Beefi. The throw goes wide, but on the upside a lovely strain of ivy takes root on the otherwise-austere cave walls. Really livens up the place.

The shifter snaps awake to find his spear flying through the air toward his hand. He grabs it reflexively, glad to see that the dragon seemed to be in worse shape every time he snapped out of these fugues. His sleepwalking self must be kicking some real ass. All the same he'd better pay another visit to that chemist after this was over. The fits were getting to be unbearably frequent.

"You want something done right..."

Beefi 17 (WEAK), Geonid 15, Dracolich 14, Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25 (KO), Uxig 20 (KO)

I was speaking idiomatically.

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

The dragon's refusal to lie down and stay properly dead was serving only to fuel Beefi's rage. His eyes rolled back into his head and he started frothing at the mouth, incensed that he was not going to beat his personal best Dragon slaying record. Grasping his mace in both hands, he stepped forward and aimed yet another massive blow at the creature.

Move east, Devastating Strike
Hit! 17 damage less whatever being weakened means.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

6 Dice Rolls save reroll re 426

Feeling ignored, the geonid trudges south toward Garold, who (quite against his will) has also been left out of the fight. Maybe this one would pay attention! So lonely.

"You're just making things worse for everyone, cow! Look here, I'm going to bite your halfling friend again. I don't like doing that! I don't. He tastes like old socks somebody soaked in brine. But I do it anyway! To spite you! You feel pretty bad about that! You should give up, if you don't want your friend to be hurt. You are friends right, I haven't completely misjudged the situation? Because that would be awkward, if — anyway, give up."

19 damage to Sam from bite; ongoing 10 necrotic damage (save ends)

Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25 (KO), Uxig 20 (KO), Beefi 17 (WEAK), Geonid 15, Dracolich 14

FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls SAVING THROW

Piercing strike on DRAGON BREATH.

19 damage.

Saved.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls don't you die on me!

Garold snapped back to reality to find that things had not gone so well for his allies during his last leave of his senses. He rushed to the bodies on the floor to see what could be done for his stricken comrades.

Move to one square south of Slim.

He surveyed Gra-Fa Zut's injuries and was relieved to find he was only unconscious. Dog breath had certainly worked on Slim, and Garold had unfortunately been unable to brush his teeth since they'd entered the tomb. He took a deep breath and exhaled in the genasi's face.

Minor action - heal check.
Success! GFZ can spend second wind as a free action but doesn't gain defense bonus from it.

Gra suddenly sputtered and coughed, then shoot Garold a glare. He was going to be fine. Garold then turned his attention to Slim, who was on the floor, again. Upon getting a good luck at the crumpled form he threw up in the back of his mouth a little bit. He had to watch closely for faint breathing to even be sure the kobold was still alive. He certainly didn't have the medical training required for this, but he decided he had to do something. Garold attempted to wipe off the toxic gunk covering most of Slim's body, and upon uncovering squishy things he was fairly sure were vital and should not be on the outside of the body, made an effort to return them to the inside where they belong.

Minor action - stabilize the dying. Failed

Unfortunately the help he could offer didn't seem to do much for Slim's condition.

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