[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Even as the arrogant mage turns to the door to call for his allies, Fescue sprints across the room. Dodging past the ghoul, he plants his sword directly into the wizard's unarmored ribcage.

"Not my lungs! I use them for breathing with!"

18 damage

MAP

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Whilst I had been looking for a way out, it appeared that the horde had got themselves into another fight. I made to join them but then the western door caught my eye. I had always had a thing about closed doors, specifically, an urge to see what's behind them.

Sheltering behind the big boulder just in case of explosions, I used my Mage Hand to open the western door.

Move behind boulder, use mage hand to open western door in the trap room

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The last of the obviously-trapped doors is opened, and the briny smell of the sea wafts forth. This 5' square room boasts a damp floor of loose pebbles and sand, as well as a complimentary Giant Enemy Crab.

The Giant Enemy Crab clacks its claws menacingly.



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf turned around to bellow to his allies, only to see the mage disappear behind a rock followed by the sound of what seemed to be clacking mandibles.

"Oh bollocks," he muttered under his breath, drawing his throwing hammer and hurling it at the mage before stepping back to block the passage into the south room. Oh good. Another pincer attack (though he didn't know yet how literal that was. yuck yuck). This was just what they needed.

Draw throwing hammer
Throw throwing hammer at mage
Jump to the left (but no step to the right, no hands on his hips, knees not brought in tight, and he never even considers the pelvic thrust as an option. As it would be silly.)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Motsognir rushed in a roundabout way toward the mage, axe drawn.

Northwest one square, north three squares, east one square

How ya doing, buddy?

Gabriel's hammer toss is right on target, smashing the mage's nose in.

7 damage

As Motsognir jogs past, the ghoul makes one last lunge and the manacle shatters. The monster's fangs bite into into the warlord's flesh, and Motsognir finds that his legs will not obey him.

5 damage, Motsognir is immobilized

MAP:

Argumentus at bat

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Having never spent time near a coast, the sight of the crab was as alien a horror to Argumentus as the Deep speaking Mind Flayers.

Argumentus attacks Enemy Crab with Reaping Strike

FELIPE NO

Argumentus' trepidation makes for a clumsy swing, but he does manage to crack the crab's shell a bit.

2 damage

"What's keeping those idiots?" mutters the mage. Lightning crackles in his hands, and bolts of electricity lash out at every other living thing in the room. Everyone but the the infamously-slow-to-react Motsognir manages to dodge.

5 damage to Motsognir: 18/6

The mage steps back toward the doorway, and his long-awaited guards arrive at last to flank him.

New round: Ghoul 27, Bob 23, Cleanshaven Guard 20, Argumentus 20, Motsognir 15, Beardy Guard 9, Gabriel 8, Crab 8, Fescue 7, Mage 7

The ghoul bites viciously into the immobilized warlord, and as the monster's toxins spread into his blood Motsognir's whole body begins to numb.

12 damage, Motsognir is stunned and bloodied: 6/6


MAP NORTH:

MAP SOUTH:

Scary Bob at bat.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My curiosity had not exactly improved our situation it seemed and now a giant crab was menacing the big human. Peering round into the next room, I saw that the wizard had been joined by two thugs and the cleverer of the dwarves was being munched on by the ghoul. I saw immediately that our most pressing need was to reduce the number of enemies we had to fight so with this in mind, I moved to the doorway and sent waves of soporific power washing over the wizard and his henchmen, hoping that the dwarf would prove resiliant enough to resist the spell.

Using new staff, move to doorway and cast sleep on middle henchman so it hits the other one and the wizard too. I'm pretty sure it's an area effect spell

Jam it back in, in the dark.

A sense of exhaustion washes over the battlefield. Most of the combatants fight off the worst of the weariness, though their movements are sluggish at best. Both Motsognir and the enemy to his north, however, both seem on the verge of unconsciousness.

Motsognir and all enemies in the room are slowed.

The left guard brandishes a halberd, hoping to finish off Motsognir — but is abruptly overtaken by sleep. He topples to the floor, snoring.

Guard fails his save vs Sleep and is unconscious.

Argumentus at bat.

Most amazing jew boots

Every part of Argumentus's being is dedicating itself to the solitary task at hand: killing the damn crab.

Reaping strike on crab

Most amazing jew boots

The ghoul had fucked ol' Soggy up most verily, but not enough to take away his battlelust. He gathered himself up as best he could and took a mad swing at the unconscious guard.

Second Wind
Warlord's Favor on guard

How ya doing, buddy?

The crude crusader chooses to crush the criminal crab continuously and commences on a course of constant crustacean cracking.

10 damage

Motsognir clears his head and hacks brutally at the helpless man lying at his feet.

Critical hit! 21 damage. Motsognir's HP 12/5

The other thug remains awake, though sluggish. He steps away from the wall, slamming the point of his halberd into Fescue's chest and throwing the rogue onto the floor.

10 damage, Fescue is prone and bloodied 13/4

MAP:

Oof, lot of status dots flying around. Gabriel at bat.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf took a deep breath, gripping his hammer firmly in a palm that all but burned with the will of Kord. He leaned back on his heel, staring at the potential targets, but always his eyes came to settle on the image of the sluggishly moving undead abomination.

With a smirk on his lips he spat on the ground, calling out at the ghoul: "Yo, she bitch. Let's go."

And with that he charged head long across the floor and lead with his hammer, the thing swinging down in a vicious downstroke aimed at the connection of the creature's neck to its shoulder, skidding to a halt on the paving stones, he drew the hammer back upwards in a violent arc aimed for the bottom of the thing's jaw.

Charge into Fearsome Smite on ghoul for +1 bonus
Spend Action Point
Bolstering Strike on Ghoul

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

A charge can only end in a basic attack or a bull rush, so you've still got the Fearsome Smite.

Gabriel charges into the fray, pulverizing the monster's shoulder. The hammer swings right back up again, but hits only air as the ghoul's vile writhing thwarts the paladin's aim.

"Ha ha!" chuckles the mage. "You should not have aimed at where it was, but at where it was going to be!"

11 damage

Having been disturbed in its cramped little home for no obvious reason than to be brutalized, the crab wreaks violent revenge. A massive claw closes around Argumentus, shaking him up and down in a crushing grip before slipping past the fighter in search of the elf who dared to to bring light into his lair.

17 damage, Argumentus 14/13 (bloodied)

MAP:

Fescue at bat.

How ya doing, buddy?

Noting that the mage had actually done something useful, and put the men and ghoul to sleep (along with the dwarf whom had a tendency to daydream, but this is only fitting), I wanted to take as much advantage of that as possible.

Being knocked on my arse, however, was an inconvenience.

Stand from prone.
Move down-right, right-down.
Deft strike @ Beardy.

Most amazing jew boots

In one smooth motion Fescue rises from the floor, bounces off the wall, and slashes at the beardy face of his antagonist.

"My beard! I need it to pontificate with!"

7 damage

The wizard stares intently at the floor a few feet to the right of Gabriel, then snaps his fingers. A blast of unbearably loud noise erupts from the spot, and both Gabriel and Fescue move to cover their ears — too late. One hell of a headache is the result.

9 damage to Fescue (4/4), 11 damage to Gabriel (18/6). Both are dazed.

DAZED

✦ You grant combat advantage.

✦ You can take either a standard action, a move action,

or a minor action on your turn (you can also take

free actions). You can’t take immediate actions or

opportunity actions.

✦ You can’t flank an enemy.

New round. Argumentus 21, Motsognir 21, Fescue 16, Mage 16, Ghoul 15, Gabriel 14, Beardy 13, Sleepy 12, Crab 8, Bob 7

MAP:

knk, when your turn comes up you'll unfortunately still be stuck. Argumentus at bat.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus knows when he's in grave danger and beats a tactical retreat.

Reaping strike on crab, move to southwest corner

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Motsognir hits a man when he's down.

Second Wind
Viper's Strike @ prone guard

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The continual crab-cracking concludes clumsily.

2 damage

Though the man at Motsognir's feet is just as helpless as ever, it's getting hard to find new things to chop up.

11 damage. Motsognir 18/4


Fescue at bat.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Dazed as all getout, I stumbled my way across the room the the nearest corner.

Move to bottom right corner.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Fescue stumbles into the corner, clutching his head.

The wizard mutters to himself, ticking off spells on his fingers, and smiles. "I cast... Magic Missile!" he shouts, and a dart of bright energy flies from his palm. Gabriel, still dazed, staggers out of the way without even noticing.

The ghoul shakes off the soporific effects of Bob's spell, and gnaws harmlessly on Motsognir's shield arm. The dwarf is too intent on his wetwork to even notice.

Gabriel shakes off the dizziness. Gabriel at bat.

MAP

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf shook his head to clear it, not even noticing the bolt of magic whistling past his ear. He took a deep, shuddering breath and barked out at the ghoul: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the sword of Kord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Of course Mots was the weak, and Gabriel was the shepherd, but they could worry about possible religious insults later. For now the dwarf followed that up by attempting to cave in the ghoul's chest with his warhammer.

Second Wind
Divine Challenge to Ghoul Moe Dee
Warhammer to chest of Raz Al Ghoul

How ya doing, buddy?

The ghoul stares blankly at the dwarf as he pontificates forth. Its expression grows more and more puzzled, and as Gabriel finishes his recitation the ghoul's rotted lips struggle to form a single word, escaping in a sibilant hiss:

"What?"

Gabriel then proceeds to demolish what was left of the ghoul's lungs, ending its protestations.

CRITICAL HIT! 12 damage. Ghoul is marked and bloodied. Gabriel's HP 25/5.

The bearded guard shakes off his fatigue, resolving to put a stop to the indignities being foisted upon his unconscious co-worker. He closes with Motsognir, and jabs at him with his full strength. He misses, but it was a very noble act in principle.

The other guard wakes up with a start, clambering to his feet. Seeing his condition and the murderous dwarf before him, he immediately retreats to the corner, hiding behind the brazier and leveling a crossbow over the smoldering coals.

The Giant Enemy Crab meanders up behind Bob and gives him a little pinch. The gesture is harmless, yet deeply awkward.

Also, knk tried to take two Second Winds so he's actually at 12/5 FROWNY FACE.

Bob at bat.

MAP

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In my efforts to aid my companions, I had left myself dangerously exposed to the giant crab which had skuttled up behind me and taken a nip out of my increasingly bedraggled cloak. Whilst I was ever fond of seafood, I preferred mine a little better done. Flipping neatly away from the beast, I considered my options.

The crab was the kind of creature one would need a heavy, blunt instrument to crack open, not my forte at all, the wizard would likely be resistant to my magiks, one guard was obscured from my view by the swirling melee between us, the other half dead and trying to level a crossbow at one of the dwarves. It seemed that the foul undead abomination in the centre of the room was the obvious target. That said, trying to stop the crap from ripping me in half seemed like a pretty sensible plan too.

The thought crossed my mind that perhaps we were not the only friendly adventurers in this dungeon and that behind either of the doors to this room might be any number of potential allies that could perhaps be persuaded to come to our aid. I dismissed that thought though, the way this battle was going, by the time I got back there might be nobody left to save...

A calm fell over me as I gathered my will. Summoning up my deepest reserves of energy, I crouched low into the Petulant Gibbon stance before leaping high into the air. With my arms spread wide and one leg cocked, I could almost feel the world spinning around me as I blasted rays of arcane power at my foes. As the magiks hit home, I felt the touch of the universe before me and in that instant it was as if my destiny had been revealed, just as happed to Keandridell the Reaver in his epic lay The series of inter-connecting pathways. It was I who was destined to free my people from the unseen shackles of their own minds, me who would lead them against their otherworldy slave masters, I was the One.

Shift north away from crab
Ray of enfeeblement on crab
Spend an action point
Ray of frost on ghoul
Take the red pill

Jam it back in, in the dark.