[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

I was still pondering what exactly Sam was planning to do with my axe when Slim rushed past me and launched a bomb at the defenseless maiden.

I was horrified at the casual disregard my companion had for innocent life. I knew the rest of the Five were far more experienced adventurers than me but I had never imagined they would commit blatant murder with such little care.

I covered Howard's eyes from the horror then turned away from the conflaguration and was noisily sick on the floor.

How ya doing, buddy?

"YEEEEAAAARRRRGH I'm dead", the elf blithely remarks, rapidly melting away like a candle despite the damp mists of the cave. Within a few moments nothing is left of the prisoner save a greasy smudge on the cave floor.

"Well done, little man!" shouts the mace, ignoring Beefi's horror. "The test of fire always reveals a witch. Had she been a true maiden, she would not have burned! It's very logical if you don't think about it."

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll Arcana check

Something had happened. I had been dazed for too long. I ran to meet the others in the misty room, feeling around WITH MY MIND. "WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN," I shouted, spoiling an otherwise well choreographed rape scene.

Arcana the mists.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll holy roll

Truly! I've also heard that witches sink when tied to heavy rocks.

Having been put into a thoroughly scholarly mood by his little chat with the mace Slim racks his brain for the religious significance of the misty sacrifice room.

For future reference if I were to want to give you a high five where would be the appropriate place to do that? You know what with your lack of hands and all.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll too damn foggy

Garold heard fire erupt in the misty cavern, followed shortly by the sound of Beefi vomiting. Whatever was going on, he was sure Slim was having a good time. Seeing no real benefit to messing with the lock, Garold decided to wander into the mist and see if his canine senses could help him find any secret exits or anything else noteworthy.

Perception Check

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Not wanting to go any closer to the smouldering remains, I carried on skirting the room, looking out for dragons.

I was speaking idiomatically.

7 Dice Rolls geonids init

Gra-fa-zut staggers into the cave at last, discovering the rest of the group standing awkwardly around a small heap of ashes. Why was it so foggy here? Wasn't cold or anything. Like there was some kind of big animal just breathing on them. Gross. The distinctive stink of necrotic magic hung in the air, but that didn't make much sense. Dead things didn't breathe on you, usually.

Slim ponders the theological significance of tying up a witch inside a foggy cave, but can't really think of anything. It was a spooky place, but so far as he could tell it was spooky in a strictly secular fashion.

"High five? Wouldn't try it, friend. If your hand was to collide with me at high speed, I'd probably reduce your arm to a gory pile of meat rope. It's nothing personal, my particular enchantments are just remarkably unsubtle."

"Yes, in the way that a rock is an unsubtle form of diplomacy", sneers Murray.

Garold peered into the darkness, his eyes straining against the fog. Even the shifter's remarkably sharp vision could scarcely pick anything out in the deep mist. There was some kind of dark shape back there, but it was probably just another boulder. Unless — no, wait. Whatever it is, it's breathing. And it's huge.

Beefi continues picking along the cave wall, barely able to see his hand in front of his face. At length, he bumps into some kind of large clammy thing. It lifts its head and yawns, blowing away the mists within a small radius. The rotting carcass of a dragon peers down at Beefi blearily, as motes of dancing flame flicker to life inside the corpse's empty eyesockets.

"What the hell, Elaine. You leave dinner in the rocks like I told you, you don't have to drag it over to me every time. We've been over —"

The fires in the dragon's skull flare to a sudden brightness, glaring hatefully at the mace dangling from Beefi's hand.

"YOU!", the dragon screams, spraying Beefi's face with coagulated saliva and bits of rotting meat.

"Yes, me", retorts the mace, the smugness practically palpable in its voice.

"Honk", Howard thoughtfully adds.

"SEAL THE EXIT!", the dragon roars, and the boulders encircling the elf girl's unfortunate remains rise to unsteady life — unfolding into humanoid shapes of glossy purple crystal beneath their smooth grey exteriors.

"That should hold off anyone else you've brought along on your little quest. It's just you and me now. Well, no. You, me, and this minotaur. Damn. You, me, this minotaur, and a goose. But that's it! And I don't think the goose is going to be much help!"

Defenses
Dracolich AC 26 Fort 26 Ref 24 Will 24
Geonids AC 20 Fort 18 Ref 17 Will 17

Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20, Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14, Sam 13, Garold 6

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls incidental

After the cock tease that was the poetry contest at last Uxig would have a proper battle. As luck would have it he was the three time Geonide bowling champion of his village as well.

walk up to geode dead ahead and use brutal slam. 21 damage to enemy also he's knocked back 2 and prone. 12 damage to an enemy adjacent to where he landed I think.

You on my left! You got luck this time. I'll be picking up that spare next round.

FELIPE NO

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

Lords! I had stumbled upon an undead dragon! This could not end well.

The beast roared at me, spraying me with chunks of his last meal, including a particularly sharp bone fragment that lodged in my arm. I looked down and saw a thin line of blood where the shard had connected and promptly passed out.

The Minotaur opened his eyes to see an undead monstrosity leering at him. He was unconcerned, he had bested greater foes than this whelp. With barely a shrug he riased his axe...

Wait, this was not his axe. His axe had been his constant companion through the years, together they had toppled kingdoms, bested armies and enacted genocide against at least three distinct races of gnomes. Certainly the mace he now found in his grasp was a fine weapon but that mattered not, it was not his mace. As his choler rose, he was heedless of his old companion strapped safely to his back. Beefi would find whoever took his axe and he would kill them. He would also kill everyone he met on the way, starting with the oversized pile of undead lizard in front of him.

Flying into an apoplectic rage, he leapt forward, swinging the mace at the head of his foe with all his strength. His record for dragon slaying was six swings, he hoped to beat that count today.

Move west one square, Tiger's Claw Rage on Dracolich
+15 means 11+ to hit

Miss! Half damage. 2D8+9 =18/2 =9 damage

Beefi enters Tiger's Claw Rage. All missed attacks now cause 1W damage

Not for the first time, raw power proved not to be more effective than finesse and the mighty warrior missed with his strike. The aura of the mace still ripped a chunk of necrotic flesh from the dragon's face but Beefi had been hoping to remove the entire skull.

"One" he muttered in a slightly sullen voice.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

8 Dice Rolls sam's future knowledge 2

Gra-fa-zut stares blankly at the dracolich for a long moment, then abruptly pivots to the right and marches directly into the wall.

48 hours; sorry chief

Slim barrels forward, swinging his heavy maul with enough force to send even the stone-skinned geonid flying backward into the mob with a satisfying crunch.

Beefi lunges forward in a rage, rending strips of rotten meat from the dragon's face.

"Thank you, that's quite helpful. I've been trying to scrape off all that extra baggage for a while now, but there are just so many places I can't reach with these huge, nightmarish talons. Say, you gonna eat that goose? I could go for a little foie gras. I got this great ritual, speeds up the whole process."

One of the geonids lunges at Slim, grappling him in its rocky claws and practically crushing his ribs. The rest do their best to do as the dracolich had commanded, blocking off any route between Beefi and his companions. Their best, happily, leaves much to be desired.

18 damage to Slim; grabbed by Geonid B

The dracolich lashes into Beefi with the aforementioned huge, nightmarish talons; Beefi is significantly less sanguine about the huge chunks of himself that are suddenly missing. Knocked off balance, the minotaur staggers backward and tries to ignore the absolutely massive puddle of blood before him.

Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20, Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14

54 damage to Beefi; bloodied, knocked back 2

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Move to -h -39. Full defense. Knowledge check on enemies.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

The dragon swings a massive strike at the minotaur. In his frenzy, the warrior managed to bring the mace up in a mighty strike at the beat's claw.

Immediate interupt, Curtain of Steel
Hit! 20 or 21 damage, I think, unless the mace does extra damage to undead dragons

Chunks of necrotised flesh fly from the dragon's arm as the minotaur flies backwards across the room. As the mace hits home, it pulses with a holy light, further fortifying the barbarian.

"TWO" bellowed Beefi, a shower of blood erupting from his mouth as the claws rended his flesh.

Another interupt, Oath of Enduring Wrath, +2 to saves for the rest of the fight.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

5 Dice Rolls shiny rocks

Garold could just barely see past the rockmen, but what he did see was very bad. The mace was their best hope against an undead dragon, and its wielder was already missing chunks. At least he seemed to be in a fighting mood; Garold doubted they could settle this one with poetry.

For a moment Garold considered running away, but then he remembered there was nowhere to run to anyway. "Well shit. In for a copper piece, in for a gold piece," he thought before heading straight at one of the animate rocks.

Move to -A-36

Clear a path stoners, we've got dragon re-slaying to do!

Stampede Shot on Geonid B

Hit! Geonid B takes 15 damage and is pushed up to 4 squares (to the East), then anything adjacent is pushed 2 squares.

Minor(?) Action - Nature check on Geonids

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls *damage

With Garold having used his marvelous trained buffalo to clear the path it's time for Slim to reinforce the wounded cow.

I'm coming beefstick!

shift south one using shifty then move to g-30

charge dracolich using howling strike

burn action point and use Rune of Endless Fire

11 fire and radiant damage to dracolich I do radiant and fire damage for all attacks the remainder of the encounter.

Having missed twice Slim looks awkwardly over to Beefi and shrugs.

Let us never speak of this again.

How ya doing, buddy?

6 Dice Rolls *VAE VICTUS

Wiping the blood from his eyes with the back of his hand, the enraged barbarian lowered his head and charged at the dragon. He would teach this creature the folly of messing with a Kertanz.

Goring charge in a sweeping semi-circle at dragon so as to attack from the south
Hit! - 14 damage and Dragon is knocked prone

The massive creature was lifted clean off the floor and deposited hard on the ground by the charging minotaur. As if this wasn't embarrasing enough for the undead lizard, Beefi's mace pulsed violently, the light flaying chunks of flesh from the liche's flanks

Mace power - 3D10 additional radiant damage

Not allowing the slightest hint of respite to his foe, Beefi segued into a fearsome overhead smash, aimed at the space where the dragon might once have had testicles.

Action point, Rage Strike on dragon
I think that's a hit, if not then damage is halved + 1D8 damage for effects of rage

"VAE VICTUS!" the barbarian bellowed as his mace impacted on the upended dracolich's nether regions. "Oh, and er, combos count as one so THREE".

So, I think that's: 14+(23x1.5)+23 damage = 71 damage?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls Arcana Check

A large undead dragon? I had to hit my head against the wall on the off-chance that it would wake me up. Sadly, I wasn't dreaming at all. The bone dragon was obviously the ringleader, and though the path is sealed off by its minions, I know just how to bypass it.

Activate Rubicant Blade Power (move action).
- Garold and Sam teleported by 5 squares to a square of their own choosing.
---- If they don't choose by update time, Garold to E-37; Sam to -C-33.
- GFZ teleported to A-33.
Whirling Blade vs A. Critical Hit: 26+4=30 damage.
Swordmage's Decree at B-32 through D-30; affects A, B and D.
Arcana knowledge check on Dracolich. 17+15=32.


FELIPE NO

20 Dice Rolls STAND BY FOR MIND CONTROL

Beefi was too slow to stop the rending claw that sent him flying backward, but even as the dragon's talons smash him aside he brings the mace down in a hemmer blow. The nearest of the huge claws splinters like dry tinder under the weapon, scattering little shards of dragon toenail on the floor. Beefi comes to the ground in a defensive crouch, vowing not to be so easily caught off guard again.

Sam approaches the melee cautiously, in no hurry to get himself involved in what already looked to be a deeply unpleasant confrontation. He scarcely knew anything about foes of this sort; the dragon was clearly undead, and the others were certainly elementals of some kind. Beyond that, he was in the dark.

Garold's fabulous buffalo smash through the geonids before dissolving into the mist, tearing through their defensive line. The elementals were far from defeated, but their ability to prevent assistance to Beefi was temporarily broken. None of Garold's study of the natural world had taught him anything about such creatures, alas.

Snapping into action, Gra-fa-zut starts tearing through the geonids with his flashing sword. No need to worry about the geonid line; the elementals may form a physical barrier, but they did nothing to hinder the occasional teleport. Garold abruptly finds himself much closer to the dragon then he might have really preferred.

Gra-fa-zut was no expert on dragons, but many of them were infamous enough. Aside from the expected threats of its fangs, its claws, and its necrotic breath, lich dragons were also rumored to dabble in mind control. If the battle were to turn against it, the dracolich would not hesitate to enslave their minds and turn them against one another.

Geonid A bloodied; A, B, and D marked.

Slim breaks free from the geonid mob, charging the dragon at top speed. Only a glancing blow is scored, but the dragon snarls at an unexpected pain. It seemed this rotting thing was agonized by even a tiny fragment of the sun's radiant power.

10 bonus damage — undead things are Vulnerable to Radiant damage

While Uxig has the thing distracted, Beefi wipes the blood from his mouth and goes charging in — leading with his horns, he knocks the dragon to the stones with the force of his rage. The opportunity does not pass him by; while the dead thing is momentarily helpless, he rains blows upon it like a man possessed.

The geonids mill about for a moment, disorganized. Within seconds, they'd failed at their orders to keep the rest of the Five away from the dragon — now the intruders were scattering in every direction. Many of the elementals decide to focus their efforts on the swordmage; he is no direct threat to the master, but he suddenly seems important somehow. They pummel Gra-fa-zut with their rocky fists, fruitlessly trying to grapple him. They did have him completely surrounded, which diminished his pride somewhat.

Even as Garold tries to get his post-teleport bearings a geonid blindsides him, crushing him in an unyielding grip. The last of them trundles off in pursuit on Uxig, its bulky form and stubby legs giving it little chance of catching the kobold anytime soon.

33 damage to GFZ
18 damage to Garold; Garold grabbed

The dragon gets to its feet with a snarl, rotten meat sloughing off of it in sheets. The foul jaws open wide, as if preparing to bite Beefi clean in half — but then the dracolich seems to think better of risking another brush with the mace.

"That's the problem with artifacts", hisses the dragon. "They don't digest properly."

The dracolich favors Beefi with a quick, almost casual swipe of a claw, and whirls around to confront Slim. The blood loss is too much for the barbarian, and he politely slumps to the ground, ignored. The dragon's second claw rips a gouge through Slim's chest, and the kobold is too busy flying through the air and smashing into rocks to even notice the blood.

Slim inadvertently makes eye contact with the lich; the thing's glowing eyes are all-too-visible even through the cloying mists. The dragon's voice is suddenly ringing in his ears, even though its mouth doesn't seem to be moving.

Why do you assault me, little kobold? You cannot hope to win. Here I am, glorious in fang and claw, and you assail me with a flaming stick. But it is meaningless to slay you. Behold, I have already slain 400 pounds of buffalo, and can only carry 300 back to the larder. And you are no more than an appetizer, regardless. Walk away. Persuade your friends to do likewise. You know how to... persuade people, don't you?

Slim's hand tightened around the grip of his maul, his eyes fixed blankly ahead as he turns away from the dracolich. It made sense. He should leave, now. They should all leave. He would persuade them.

20 damage to Beefi; unconscious, dying
24 damage to Slim (knocked back 2)
Slim DOMINATED (save ends)

Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20 (DOMINATED), Beefi 17, Geonids 15, Dracolich 14

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

8 Dice Rolls *sneak attack on D

I saw my opening as they surrounded my ally. I'd never been afraid to die, maybe genetics, maybe stupidity, but the point was that this was going to be all sorts of fun. I dodged, weaved, tucked and rolled my way into position before popping up and unleashing a barrage of crossbow bolts towards the faces of my opponents. I heard the squishy thunks and smirked with satisfaction. I was already in the process of drawing my rapier when they finally noticed my position. Oh yes. There would be songs sung of this. But more importantly, if I lived, I wouldn't have to pay for a drink ever again.

Move to A -29.

Blinding barrage on all there.

Crit vs F = 24 damage

Vs A (HALF damage as is a miss) = 24 (12)

Vs B = 20

Vs D = 16 + 7 sneak attack = 23

All except A are blinded until the end of my next turn.

Drop crossbow free action, draw rapier as minor action.



Jam it back in, in the dark.

5 Dice Rolls damage

Garold had hugged a few trees in his life, but this was the first time a rock had ever hugged him. It was unpleasant. Fortunately his throwing arm was still free. He still had no idea what these things were, but he liked the look of the purple gems they were composed of. If they were instead stones he had found, he would put them in a rock tumbler. Idea!

Windstorm strike centered on Gra-fa-zut.
Geonids A and B are hit for 11 damage and pushed 4 squares west

How disappointing. He had hoped for a cyclone of rock whirling around the calm where Gra-fa-zut stood, but only two had been moved, and even then they were too heavy to do anything more than slide across the floor. Ah well, at least the swordmage wasn't buried in a sentient landslide anymore.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Beefi slumped to the floor, blood spilling from the wounds inflicted by the dragon. In truth this was not the first time in his violent life that the barbarian had been knocked unconcious by an enemy but the injuries he had just received were far from the worst.

He lay there for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling. All this lying around was cutting into his dragon slaying time but for some reason he couldn't seem to move his legs properly right now.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

3 Dice Rolls save

I have right here a Necro Dracolichtm! It slices and dices! It tenderizes meat with horrific necrotic acids! And the best part? You can just SET IT AND FORGET IT!

Fleeing for our lives is a one time offer only available within the next 10 minutes!

charge at geonid E using howling strike. 24 damage to geonid.

And you sir in the audience! How about a testimonial?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

4 Dice Rolls Sorry, REAL damage to F

48 hours from Garold's post. Assuming GFZ is up for public use again

These walking rocks think they've surrounded me. Little do they realize that they've fallen for my secret weapon! Namely, exotic sword techniques, taught to me by travelers from the Far East, during my time as a ship navigator. Having shown them my fabulous deadly technique, I then engage the sentient rock currently holding my werewolf comrade hostage.

Honorable Blade of the Soaring Heavens!
Twin Dragon Flash!

Sword Burst vs D & F. 7 (or 8 if you consider correct die roll) damage to F.
Move to F-35 (avoid AoO from A; B can't AoO because it's blind)
Aegis of Assault vs. C.
-- Aegis Marks now on A, B, C and D.

I was speaking idiomatically.

16 Dice Rolls well if you insist

While the rest of the Five tear a swath through the geonids to hurry to his rescue, Beefi's condition only worsens.

Geonid A killed. Geonids B and F bloodied.
Beefi fails first death save.

The geonids stagger to and fro, blinded by the bolts in their... did they even have eyes, exactly? Regardless, one of them manages to stumble clumsily into Uxig; the jagged stone edges of the creature are enough to wound the kobold, even if the geonid doesn't know what it's bumped into.

The geonid grappling with Garold is panicked by the sudden disorganization of its clutch. The creature swiftly folds back into a defensive boulder shape, dragging the protesting Garold into its hollow interior.

The rest of the blinded rock beasts flail ineffectually at Sam, dimly aware that a significant thread must be in that general direction. None of their clumsy swings come close to harming him.

The last geonid swings its huge fists at Uxig with bone-shattering force. It was a strike that would have pulped the organs of anyone over 4 feet tall, but for Slim it's just a refreshing breeze.

13 damage to Uxig.
Geonid C is in rock form. It gains a +5 to all defenses, and Garold has line of sight only to Geonid C and vice versa. Escape from the grab is still possible (against the +5 defenses, of course).

The dragon sighs, advancing on Uxig.

"Didn't I ask you to leave? I meant now, not after you murder everyone in sight. But then, when all you have is a hammer..."

The dragon's jaws fly upon, and torrent of corrosive black filth sprays out. The geonids, with their rocky hides, seem unharmed; Slim promptly collapses from dozens of fresh wounds, and the swordmage hardly fares much better, visibly unsteady on his feet.

The dragon shouts something to Sam over the din of the battle, but he pays it no attention; dragons rarely told you anything you'd really want to hear.

28 damage to Uxig (unconscious, dying)
28 damage to GFZ (bloodied), weakened (save ends)

Sam 13, Garold 6, Gra-fa-zut 25, Uxig 20 (KO), Beefi 17 (KO), Geonids 15, Dracolich 14

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls Damage

Even in his current state of near-death, the barbarian's warrior spirit would not admit defeat. His arm twitched out, smashing his mace into the beast's leg.

Ferocity feat two turns too late, MBA against dragon (Same damage whether hit or miss)
13 damage

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll bam

The geonid gripping Garold was unsurprisingly irritated when he attacked it's brethren with a windstorm. Fortunately its distraction at its fellow rock monsters' plight makes its clumsy swing easy to duck under. Garold uses the opportunity to get it the hell away from him.

Immediate interrupt
Spirit's rebuke on Geonid C. 8 damage and pushed 1 square N.

Interrupt occurs during my turn and I still have a move action left.

Move Action - Head south staying up against the cave wall.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?