[DnD] Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)

In typical form, Bob looks around the battle for somebody who looks vulnerable to cold and selects the hulking fur-covered monster. Bob does not cope well with having his beauty sleep interrupted.

Ray of Frost: miss

With the doppelganger already on the floor with a head wound, Brigid takes the opportunity for a good ol' boot-to-the head.

Righteous Brand: miss
Wrathful Thunder: 7 damage to doppelganger; dazed

The Bugbear shifts southwest and takes a swing at Motsognir with his shortsword.

6 damage to Motsognir

The doppelganger staggers to her feet, wavering back and forth and muttering a string of curses vile enough to make Motsognir's mustache wilt.

Doppelganger stands up

The duergar moves northward, carefully lining up his hammer with Gabe as a fiery bolt erupts from it. "It's just like my job, okay?!" he shouts. "Don't take it personal!"

14 damage to Gabe

Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Doppelganger, Duergar

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Motsognir, too busy looking horrified from whatever that bear thing is to do anything himself, thinks happy thoughts about the human.

Give Arg a saving throw with Shake It Off
Commander's Strike -> Arg to Doppelganger

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The Paladin glared at the magic user as his powers burned across his skin. "When this is over with, you'll be lucky if I don't wear your skin like a cape. I only do that when it's personal."

And with that he turned and charged at the doppleganger, holding his holy symbol before him and cursing her very existence, as it is an abomination in the face of his God. Sliding to a stop and slicing out with his axe, snarling as he looked to end this fight as soon as possible. He was in no shape to withstand a long, drawn out fight. Still, he'd show no weakness.

"Kord doesn't wilt in the face of your mockery of existence, monster."

After this battle, if he should survive, he would make a point of returning the fallen warrior's armour to the temple of Bahamut.

move to p10 in order to set up combat advantage with mots.
Divine Strength.
Righteous Smite on Dopple.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Already dazed and flanked Argumentus lets loose with a Reaping Strike to really put the hurt on Moonface.

Argumentus marks the Doppelganger.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Soggy reaches over the fire and gingerly plucks the bolt out of Argumentus' arm. He's still too wobbly for the moment for his next swing to connect.

Shake It Off: Success, Arg's status cleared
Commander's Strike: miss. Sword ticks up to +3.

Knowing that he must end the battle quickly, Gabriel charges the doppelganger and swings with the full strength that he can muster. She probably didn't need those intestines anyway.

Righteous Smite: 29 damage to Doppelganger; bloodied

Arg piles on the hurt, taunting the battered doppelganger.

Reaping Strike: 17 damage to Doppelganger; marked

The halfling fires a bolt into Brigid's back, but a lifetime of eating things pulled out of a swamp allows her to shrug the poison off.

8 damage to Brigid

Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Doppelganger, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf snarled and smeared the blood from his axe across his shield, flicking spatters of it in the Duergar's direction. A nice little reminder. The scent of blood, the feel of it slipping down across his wrists beneath his gauntlets, immediately all thoughts of hesitation were gone. Kord would show him the way. And the way was through destruction of his enemies. Righteous vengeance was a thing to behold.

FELIPE NO

The Horde skillfully launched into battle plan A, also known as all gang up on the leader and hit them as hard as possible until they die. I was still fatigued from our earlier battle and wouldn't be able to use my more powerful magiks without a longer rest. The shapeshifter was staggering under the onslaught of the warriors and I had another go at using my new ice spell, hoping to actually hit something with it this time.

Icy Rays on Doppelganger and Halfling (I can't remember if there's a range limit for the second target, if there is and the halfling is too far away I'll go for the Bugbear instead)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Bob splays his fingers into a wide fork, sending cruel daggers of elemental ice darting in each direction. The halfling manages to duck at the last second, but the battered and disoriented doppelganger is hit square in the stomach. The ice rapidly spreads over her blood-soaked body, and she looks down in horror, barely able to comprehend. "No!" she cries. "My beautiful wickedne—"

The ice stops her mouth, and she is silent.

Icy Rays (Doppelganger): Critical Hit! 18 damage; kill
Icy Rays (Halfling): Miss
I have to stop creating battle scenarios with obvious targets. Next time: 400 angry puppies with knives taped to their heads.

Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"Aha", I cried as the frost spread across the corpse of the doppelganger, "Why don't you just chill out?".

I chuckled to myself, rather pleased with my sharp tongue and quick wit.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I pulled the halfling's bolt out of my side, and smelled the head. It smells like.. wait... yes, rattlesnake venom, and gila lizard blood to give it extended durability in the body at the expense of noxiousness. I can see where they were going with this concoction, but my personal preference is for goblin bile instead of gila lizard blood. Its deleterious effects are compounded, in addition to acting as a preservative. I keep a goblin around the homestead for this very purpose, which is why I know how to communicate with them so well. He don't mind none, I feed him right except every week or two I give him a stew of thistle and rapeseed and up it comes.

You betcha.

Anyway, it ain't right for folks to fight their kin, even if they're opposin' each other. Feudin's one thing, that's personal and ain't nobody gonna stop you from satisfaction. But I ain't got no quarrel with this'un. Why come he thinks he can try to poison me? A doctor? It can't stand, it can't.

"You there! Did you grow up in a barn that you forgot your manners like this? Your daddy a passing tom in a rut, your momma ain't live more'n three years before she got crushed by the horses? I'mma learn you some manners."

I switched to my mace, the dagger being useless for the coming battle. As I came in for the swing, I shouted the same thing heard ringing countless times in the hills of my home:

"MIND YOUR ELDERS!"

move to m12
Avenging Flame on Halfling
the epic battle has begun


This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"What the—"

The enemy leans back, narrowly dodging the flame-wreathed mace Brigid swings at his head.

"Aunt Brigid, what are you doing? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends! I told you a million times, I'm an adult now! You can't just set me on fire whenever you feel like it! 'Iggy, take out the garbage or I'll burn your face off. Iggy, feed the pigs or I'll incinerate you.' Well, not any more! Today, it's you who gets burned! By... uh... this... sword here, I guess... ANYWAY YOU CAN'T PUSH ME AROUND! I'LL POISON YOU TO DEATH IF I FEEL LIKE IT! I HAVE RIGHTS!"

He waves his stubby little arms in fury.

Avenging Flame: miss, 6 damage.

The bugbear circles around Motsognir and flanks Brigid, but his shortsword swing misses anyway.

The duergar backs up another step, and swings his hammer into the wall. The dilapidated building shudders, and debris from the second floor rains down on the party through holes in the ceiling. Argumentus, Gabriel and Bob are all battered about the head by chunks of wood and sent sprawling to the floor.

"Stay away from me!" he shouts. "I swear, I'll bring the whole building down on top of you!"

9 damage to Arg, Gabe, Bob. Gabe bloodied, all 3 knocked prone

Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar

How ya doing, buddy?

Motsognir, thanking himself for not standing with the others, laughs loudly. "Aha! It's not me this time! aHA!" He hopped over to stand on the dead Doppelganger and swung his axe at the Bugbear, sick of it and it's face.

Shift to southwest.
Inspiring Word to Gabe
Viper's Strike on BugBear. If it connects, GreatAxe push that fucker into the campfire.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf grunted as he pushed himself up from under the mass of debris. The sound of Mots' voice had dragged him back from his dazed state, and bracing his axe against the ground he pushed himself up to his feet. He flung a bit of debris at the Duregar, snarling derisively.

"You've shot me with mystic energy and you've dropped a thricedamned house on me, and I'm still standing, kinsman. Let me explain it to you in a way your rat-eaten brain can comprehend. You're a sellsword. You only get paid if you survive another day..."

He took a deep breath and hurled another piece of house at the creature's feet.

"If you haven't noticed, we're winning this little fucking war, and Kord himself smiles upon me. So start pointing those little tindersparks at your friend with the crossbow and his hairy compatriot and you can walk away from this, or I swear to whatever god you worship I will cut your head from your body and use it as a piss pot. Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back. And I get the impression I'm better at doin' both, son."

He turned to glare at the bugbear as it caught flame, kicking a brick off his foot.

"As for you. I hope you're ready for me. And if you are, you'd best quit your fucking day job, 'cause being ready for me'll take care of your wakin' hours, and you'd better have someone to hand the task off to when you close your fuckin' eyes."

Stand from prone
Intimidate on Druegar so he starts shooting at the bad guys or just leaves.
Divine Challenge on Buggy Bear.


What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

With the bugbear out of reach Argumentus stands up from prone and shakes the plaster off of his head.

Second Wind

FELIPE NO

Soggy smoothly circles behind the bugbear, aiming his heavy axe at the goblinoid's center of gravity. At the last moment he turns the grip and strikes the hairy beast with the flat of the blade. The bugbear wheels his arms and stumbles helplessly into the roaring campfire, provoking him into the only vocalization he's made since his arrival.

"MY FLESH! IT BURNS!"

Inspiring Word: Gabe's HP +14
Viper's Strike: 12 damage to Bugbear
Staggering Greataxe Power: 7 damage to Bugbear, and 3 ongoing

Staggering to his feet and brushing splinters out of his beard, Gabe does his best to re-intimidate the duergar, but the gray dwarf's having none of it.

"That's just it, flatlander. You talk a good fight but how dangerous can you be when you can't even dodge a house? I mean, really, nice reflexes there. I'll put you on my list of dangerous threats, right under snapping turtles."

Hoping to impress somebody, Gabriel turns his derision on the bugbear. This seems to be more effective, though it's hard to tell with the screaming and the thrashing and the burning fur stink.

Intimidate: Fail
Bugbear marked

Argumentus crawls out from under the avalanche to find that some kind soul has put leftovers back on the fire! His heart is warmed by this considerate gesture.

Argumentus' HP +11, defenses +2

"This is for the time you put little Fluffy into a stew and told me he 'wandered off'!", Iggy screams, thrusting his sword at Brigid's shoulder. It bounces harmlessly off the chainmail, and his face twists up in rage.

"AUGH, YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING!"

Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

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It seemed our fearless dwarf was not the only of his kind with a penchant for destroying buildings. Knowing that it was safest to stay low in the event of a building collapse, I crawled away into the corner, hoping that the beams there would be rather stronger than the roof in the middle of the room. Seeing that the big monster was no fan of being on fire, I compounded it's misery with a burst of eldritch flame.

Crawl as far south and west as the building and my move rate allows. Flame Burst one square west of Bugbear

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I cackled at Iggy's useless attack.

"Who took your family in when no one else would, on account'a your daddy bein' a drunk and a leper? I did! Who tried to teach y' how to fish and hunt, and take care'a y'self, on account'a your daddy dyin' from leperoic cirrosis? I did! Who went out at the crack of dawn every mornin' to administer healin' t' earn enough for you to go to bard school in the big city? I did! And when you got beat up by the kids at school cuz you ain't carry a tune worth a damn, who taught you how to hide dead fish in their lutes so that they wouldn't figure out where the smell came from? I did!"

"And this is how you repay me. You ain't so big I can't put you over my knee!"

And then I did just that.

Attempt to bend Iggy over my knee and spank him with my mace
Healing Word to Gabriel at some point too

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Seeing the injuries heaped on the bugbear by its being on fire, Bob then sets it on fire... even more! Somehow, this works.

7 damage to Bugbear; bloodied

Contrary to her assertions, Iggy is in fact too big for Brigid to put over her knee. Still, it's hilarious to watch her try.

Grab attempt fails
Healing Word: Gabriel uses his last surge and gains 9 HP

Maddened with pain, the bugbear charges out of the fire straight toward Gabriel and pays no heed to Brigid's mace. The monster screams in the Paladin's face and slashes open the side of his neck before he can react. At least the heat will cauterize the wound quickly.

3 ongoing fire damage to Bugbear
Brigid's AoO: 9 damage
Bugbear's shortsword: 11 damage to Gabe
save vs fire failed

The duergar pulls a strange canister from his belt and throws it in the direction of the fire. He overshoots by a good ten feet, and it shatters on the floor in front of the stairwell. Vile fumes burst out of the canister, and Brigid and Argumentus turn their faces away. Motsognir, distracted by the immediacy of the flaming what the fuck is that, is not so lucky. He begins coughing violently, and his eyes water up.

6 damage to Motsognir; blind

BLINDED

✦ You grant combat advantage.

✦ You can’t see any target (your targets have total

concealment).

✦ You take a –10 penalty to Perception checks.

✦ You can’t flank an enemy.

until duergar's next turn

Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf felt the heated blade sink into his flesh, stifling a cry as he gripped down hard on his axe. Breathing heavily, his armour feeling like it weighed thrice what it actually did, he shook off the damage and turned his eyes back to his foe.

His blood throbbed in his veins, screaming to be unleashed on this monster, to repay hurt for hurt. Moments before he unleashed the tensed muscles in his arms, he caught the motion of Argumentus sliding behind the Bugbear. So swallowing his rage, letting it build inside him, he waited, muttering under his breath:

"That's right, you ugly bastard. Just keep your eyes on me for a few more moments."

He was barely able to bite back his smirk. Kord would appreciate the death of this substantial foe. And the Paladin would paint the floor with his blood.

Delay action until after Argumentus moves in and attacks.
Radiant Smite on that ugly furry bastard

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Move North of Bugbear to flank
Reaping Strike on Bugbear

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"My eyes! Oh shit!" Motsognir cried, stumbling about dramatically.

Commander's Strike -> Arg to Bugbear
Shift to N12

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Motsognir tries to point out a weak spot in the Bugbear's armor, but with his blurry vision he ends up pointing in the direction of a broken bench on the floor. Argumentus does his even best to show the bench what-for, but the bench is stoic and does not even wince under his mighty strike. How brave, this bench! How noble!

Commander's Strike: miss

Arg turns from the bench, shrugging. He can do nothing against such an opponent. Perhaps the bench will show them mercy. As an afterthought, he stoves in the head of some hairy jackass that's invading his personal space. Argumentus doesn't have time for jokers, he's got a bench to outwit.

Reaping Strike: 10 damage to Bugbear

Down to his last reserves of strength, Gabriel aims a mighty finishing blow at the vile bugbear. It seems to fall down and stop breathing before he actually hits it, but this does not dissuade him in the least. He will punish it for the insolent act of having been on fire. Seriously, who does that?

Radiant Smite: 25 damage to Bugbear that only had 1 HP remaining; kill

"Nuts to this", Iggy says. "If I wanted to spend all day trading swings with you I would've stayed home." He sweeps past Brigid, jabbing his sword into the ribs of teary-eyed Motsognir.

6 damage to Motsognir. Bloodied. 3 ongoing poison damage and slowed (save ends both)

Bob, Brigid, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

FELIPE NO

Having reached what I hoped to be the relative safety of the corner, I got to my feet and dusted myself down. The shambling bear-thing had been swiftly put down by the others and I suspected the small child with the crossbow would not be breathing for much longer. No, it was clear to me that the real threat here was the dwarf and his almost arcane powers (They weren't arcane of course, who ever heard of a dwarf that could use magic?).

I was drained from the day's endeavours and unable to focus my mind sufficiently to use any of my really impressive spells so I resorted to my elven heritage. I dropped my staff and unslung my bow and notched an arrow in one smooth motion. Lining up the dwarf through the crosshairs drawn on my goggles, I released the string and sent a deadly arrow whistling through the air towards the stumpy creature.

Stand up, drop staff, draw bow, shoot Duergar, whistle (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

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"Don't you sass m-- Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

moves to n14 since flanking is our new favorite thing
Righteous Brand on Iggy, bonus to Argumentus

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Bob wears his sunglasses at night
so he can
so he can
fail to hit the broad side of a barn

Longbow: miss
I will ride this joke into the ground

Quite unable to get Iggy to pay proper attention to her lecture, Brigid foists the wayward youth off on Argumentus. Perhaps the simpleton can better understand the juvenile mind.

4 damage to Iggy
Argumentus gets +3 to hit for attacks on Iggy

The duergar keeps his distance, firing off a firebolt at Argumentus. The big man is flummoxed. Only moments ago, fire was cooking some manner of delicious beast for him, but now fire has turned against him, flying through the air and making his face all red and hurty. Where did everything go wrong with fire? How can he make things like they were before? It is a heartbreak.

12 damage to Argumentus
Motsognir's vision clears up
Motsognir takes 3 poison damage as his turn begins

Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Duergar

There's nowhere I can't reach.