Church Friend Day

This guy in our building who I talk to recently invited Chris and I to a "friend day" at his local (very conservative) church. I told him that both Chris and I were liberal atheists, and I'm not sure that we'd fit in. He said he didn't mind, and that all are welcome. Of course, there was a service before the free food and socializing.

Everyone pretty much told me to tuck tail and run, but I wanted to be friendly and at the very least show that atheists aren't the awful people that some would have others believe. I don't know that they'd definitely try to convert us, but that would be a deal-breaker for me. I've been to Jewish events, Christian events, and a few other minor religious events, so the whole "religious" thing doesn't bother me too much in most cases.

We've decided not to attend, but I wonder what you guys think about this.

Would you go to a religious event if you were invited by a friend (and there were no conversion motives)?
Under which circumstances would you or would you not attend a religious event?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I consider myself Agnostic, even though I was baptized catholic. Thus, I don't go to religious events on my own doing.

That said, I have gone to a religious event or two because a friend has asked me to simply to keep them company. I wasn't being asked to convert or anything, just to be there, and I have no problem with that. The places I've gone aren't picky about you participating really.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was baptized and raised Catholic, and even though I don't go to church, I consider myself a Christian. That said, it wouldn't bother me if I was invited to another faith's service (or a gathering of atheists). Religious beliefs are something that are core beliefs, and are not swayed by the promise of free cookies.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Yeah Hugh

I was baptized and raised Catholic, and even though I don't go to church, I consider myself a Christian. That said, it wouldn't bother me if I was invited to another faith's service (or a gathering of atheists). Religious beliefs are something that are core beliefs, and are not swayed by the promise of free cookies.

Yeah, pretty much what you two said. I was baptized and all that under the Catholic faith too, but I was given the choice to gtfo when I was 12 or so. Guess what I chose.

So you guys'd have gone to this shindig? Even with a service involved? I dunno, it seemed kind of like a "come be our friiiiiiends and help our congregation grooooow" kind of thing. The conversion vibe was strong, but I feel bad about assuming it.

How would you deal if you were ambushed?

How ya doing, buddy?

I would probably be the kind of person to say thanks for the offer but I'd rather not. Obviously if a friend asks me to go that person must already know about my lack of belief and respect it, but I'd be more concerned about the rest of the people there. I'm not saying that they would necessarily try to convert me, but just knowing that it could happen would prevent me from feeling as much at ease as I would like to be when socializing.

When it comes to the part about attending a service, I've unfortunately had to do this quite a bit with the vocal ensemble I sing in since we are often offered to perform in the service in exchange for a free space to perform a concert, but I wouldn't subject myself to attending one just for the fun of it. Then again, I don't have many friends who are that big into religion, so in the foreseeable future I can't imagine being put into a situation where I would have to make this choice.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Yeah, pretty much what you two said. I was baptized and all that under the Catholic faith too, but I was given the choice to gtfo when I was 12 or so. Guess what I chose.

So you guys'd have gone to this shindig? Even with a service involved? I dunno, it seemed kind of like a "come be our friiiiiiends and help our congregation grooooow" kind of thing. The conversion vibe was strong, but I feel bad about assuming it.

How would you deal if you were ambushed?

It really depends on who it is. There are people I'd go to things with and those I would not.

The reason I went to the service that I did was because I had a friend very confused about her spirituality and she was trying different religious practices to see which one she felt she fit in. She wanted company, and so I was happy to accompany her to one of them.

Now if I had a friend who was very heavy into a religion who asked me to go to service 'just because', I would probably decline, unless it was a party or gathering that involved mingling. I'm not a fan of religious service or sermon, so won't go for those reasons.

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I don't really like social gatherings in general, religious or not. Invitations to join religious or cultural evants are fine by me. If I find it interesting enough and my schedule allows me to, then I go and be a good friend and at the same time learn about their beliefs and/or culture. If the main point of the event is obviously to convert you, and if you think it's a good way to discuss things and learn about each other's belief system, then it's not really a bad thing. I think the ones who tend to shy away from discussions are the ones who are not sure what they believe in.

Also, props to shade for being a good friend.

FELIPE NO

Pretty much everything Shade said. I was baptized Catholic, but I'm more or less agnostic now. My answer would depend entirely on who was asking me to go and what was involved. I'd probably pass on this Friend Day thing unless a good friend begged me to come along. It's not because I dislike religious activities or fear my views being challenged, though. Church services are boring, and that's enough of a reason to dodge it. Unless the food afterwards is amazing there's no reward worth waking up early to go sit through a sermon.

I could also be convinced to go along if the service was held somewhere cool to see like one of those Mormon Wizard of Oz cathedrals, or I've heard there's an interesting non-denominational christian service held in one of the popular music venues downtown here. Curiosity would be enough motivation to go to one of those if invited.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I can't stand it when people go out trying to convert others for the sake of converting people. For some reason i just don't think religion should be forced on people. Call me crazy, but some people might have a little bit of trouble believing that they should care about some Jew who died two thousand years ago because he woke back up, wandered around for a while, was lifted off into the sky, and is coming back someday.

Sure, maybe it's what I believe, but it's not something you try to push on other people if they don't want to hear it. Then you're just being counter-productive.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I would probably duck out as politely as possible. They might be a friend of mine and even if I don't agree with their beliefs I wouldn't persecute them for being religious, but I'm not sure I'd want to associate with a large group of strangers who are highly conservative Christians for a day, especially if there was a risk I'd spend the whole day gritting my teeth to conversion tactics. I feel particularly sore about that last point anyway so I'd not be an ideal guest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Learning about other people's religion is in a way learning what their culture is. I don't see it as a bad thing. I grew up going to a Catholic day care, a Buddhist kindergarten, and a Japanese Seventh-Day Aventist Church School on top of regular public American school. (read: religiously messed up)

So if I did run across a Muslim per say and they asked if I would like to mosque, I'd probably be like, "so long as I am welcome to sit in the back and politely observe and it is okay for me to not participate in things that don't coincide with my beliefs, yeah sure, I'd love to learn what your religion is about."

I always try to bring guests and/or friends for special services like Obon (Summer festival; sort of a japanese day of the dead type celebration), buddha's birthday (in spring), new years. Some Buddhist / Japanese traditions are more cultural than they are religious, so for me, bringing someone to one of those special services is like me being invited for Roshashana or Easter. On the plus side the church usually organizes to distribute or giv out food/special treats or snacks/flowers on these days, so it's a nice way to end the service.

Our church is open to visitors (we love curious people!) but we don't actively try to make them join. We mingle and chat and say our goodbyes saying how lovely it was that they came by and we'd love to see them again. Buno more than that. It's also partly because we know that 80-90 percent of even our long-time regular church patrons still don't understand fully what all buddhism means, so we don't press that onto other people. It's kind of he "yeah, it's a difficult religion to understand and we don't all get it quite as good as we should too. If you'd like to join us on our journey to learn the path to enlightenment, we'd love your company." attitude.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think the main difference here is that you mentioned your friend is in a "very conservative" church, which is a hell of a lot more intense than a Catholic or Jewish thing.

You were right not to go. That was an attempt to make a church swell in numbers, not to invite people in to help them celebrate.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I lived in egypt with a lot of muslime friends and families... I was catholic... and i was at an catholic high school... and have done a lot for the catholic church... and i am sometimes beliving in "something overpowerd anywhere"...
but i left the catholic church...
in some things i can understand why the catholic have to be so conservative... but in most developed countries it can't stand standards - thats why I have left the church...

I would never say - HEY go there! It's good for you... I think you may take a look (on your own) to the possibilities...
Religion is something TO BELIVE IN... you can't just say - oh nice - let's be muslime... there's much more behind... and think that can be understandable...

How ya doing, buddy?

Religiousness compromises everything and what God is to us.

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