[:plant:] I should not be allowed to have monitors

Ok, here's the deal as I understand it. Shut everything down, go to meet, come back, take The Longest Nap, flip everything back on. OH HEY MONITOR YOU'RE STILL POWER-SAVIN'. DON'T SAVE THE POWER. I WANT THAT POWER. TO LOOK AT THINGS. GIVE ME YOUR POWER.

Eliminate culprits! DVI cable's good. Video card's good. Monitor can tell the different between "getting input it doesn't like for whatever reason" (goes into power-save) and "getting no input" (CHECK YOUR CABLES BRO). Not a Windows 7 problem since the same shit occurs even in BIOS. Monitor itself is good... IF PUT ON ANALOG INPUT. What.

RESEARCH. Disconnect everything, cut the power, wait, crank it all back up. (I encounter this as a serious proposal in several places. People are awful.) Nothing. What is the deal? Why the fuck does it insist on running in analog?

Apparently this is a THING with DVI monitors, that they just straight-up forget how to DVI sometimes? Never had this issue before. The EDID (and I admit that I have a limited understanding of what this is) was apparently corrupted somehow while I was away (while everything was SHUT DOWN).

So, fine. I look around for a replacement EDID since, apparently, you can write a new one to the monitor. It's not out there. BUT you can extrapolate an EDID file from old registry entries from before things went to shit. So I do that.

Then the theory is that you use this app called Powerstrip to send the replacement EDID file to the monitor. In theory. In practice Powerstrip can't see that the monitor actually exists. Scuttlebutt is that Powerstrip is such an old piece of shit that it doesn't understand how to cope with my video card. Doesn't fare any better with the onboard video either. Alternately, my cable might be too long. What.

Then, since there's a negligible chance that having both the VGA/DVI inputs plugged in at once confuses poor senile Powerstrip. So I boot the system up with nothing but the (useless) DVI hooked up, and remote in. Still fuck-all accomplished.

The theoretical solution from the Powerstrip people is HEY JUST USE AN OLDER VIDEO CARD which, cool idea? I have like 8 of them, but they're all AGP and don't connect to my board and also don't have DVI output and also your company deserves death.

So, I guess, what I need here is some alternative, halfway-modern EDID writing method, or some other plausible explanation for why this thing is acting up. I think I've done due diligence on this but maybe I'm missing something obvious.

(It's an LG EW224 on a Radeon HD 4650, if that's relevant? It's probably not relevant.)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Never heard of the EDID thing, but have you tried, like, triple checking your video card settings/drivers? Also, does a different monitor work via DVI?

I could see some sort of weird problem where the video card forgets it's supposed to be outputting through the DVI slot, and only goes through VGA.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

And now it's fine. Suddenly it's fine. For no reason. The solution was to leave the DVI cable on a shelf for six days, apparently. All these other ideas? Nope, nope. Nothing. Take the cable. Disconnect both ends. Put it on a SHELF.

Somehow actually more infuriating than having it continue to not work at all. I apologize to anyone whose time I wasted with my long-winded explanation when I should have been trusting in SHELF.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's cool, I shouldn't be allowed to have table-obliterating image usernames.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?