Hi, I'm a creeper!

So logically, putting shit on social media means you've made it public domain for anybody to know.

But there's still a classic sense of right to privacy that pervades American - and most other - culture.

My question is, how acceptable is it to tell somebody you found out things about them online (regardless of the relative ease of doing so) when you have not had the chance to really find out that info in person? Usually it's somebody from the opposite gender you are interested in. Does it make a difference if it's the same sex? Is there situations (job interview, maybe) where you wouldn't expect the person to cringe when you told them you snooped them out online?

Spoiler:

I ask because I looked up a girl from class on facebook, and since it wasn't privatized I found out stuff, but instantly felt like that would make me look bad should I directly reference something I found out that she didn't personally tell me.

How ya doing, buddy?

There's a chance she doesn't know how to use privacy settings, or maybe doesn't even think about it. I'd go with caution. Would it be out of the question to just add her?

As far as I'm concerned if you feel like you shouldn't know it, it's probably best to keep it to yourself, regardless of gender.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, here's the thing. Are you two friends? Do you talk at all or is it just a sort of acquaintance thing? It doesn't really seem all that creepy if you guys were getting close (in any way) and you decided to, say, look her up to add her. I'd probably preface it with something along those lines though, just so she knows you aren't a stalker.

Of course if you only know her NAME and have never actually shared words, that'd come off pretty bad.

Also it probably depends on what it is. It's not like, "Hey I found out you have AIDS through Facebook!" right?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd keep your mouth shut about what you read, and try not to let anything slip. Wait until she tells you those things instead of her having to explain them because you found out through a website.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Treat it like an UFO sighting: you saw something but you don't know what it was, so you forgot about it eventually.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Personally, I'd go for it and it'd educate her a valuable lesson for putting that shit online. Better yet, it may educate you too in the process to not jump into conclusions too just from some of her photos for instance.

Sup Dope and his brag post on another forum. Not to be mean, but this is a perfect example.

On the other hand, if this info is on facebook and shit, well... its a toss up really. If its a negative kind of look on her, I wouldn't use it on there since it makes you look in a negative light but who are you really if you were to NOT act on it, Zeph? Its not you. You'd be doing her a disservice if you're not behaving the typical Zeph with this info. AMIRITE. "MOD HUT/CRASH ENTRY"

If its positive, who cares.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Philia

Sup Dope and his brag post on another forum. Not to be mean, but this is a perfect example.

If its positive, who cares.

She will. She will care. Because he will come off like the creepiest motherfucker in the world.

Seriously, Zeph. How is this even a question? I'm relatively sure you've seen a girl naked in real life, because I've seen your ex-wife naked and frankly that means you should have, too. Point is, if you've seen a girl naked in real life you've moved beyond the realm where this kind of question is acceptable. Creeping on some girl you're into is one thing, lots of people do that. Walking up to her and being all: "Hey, in those vacation shots of you from 4 years ago you looked really good. I also see we both like Fast and the Furious. Sup girl?" CREEPY.

How ya doing, buddy?

Relevant:



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Filthy Hockey Beast

She will. She will care. Because he will come off like the creepiest motherfucker in the world.

Seriously, Zeph. How is this even a question? I'm relatively sure you've seen a girl naked in real life, because I've seen your ex-wife naked and frankly that means you should have, too. Point is, if you've seen a girl naked in real life you've moved beyond the realm where this kind of question is acceptable. Creeping on some girl you're into is one thing, lots of people do that. Walking up to her and being all: "Hey, in those vacation shots of you from 4 years ago you looked really good. I also see we both like Fast and the Furious. Sup girl?" CREEPY.

Is it inconceivable that I'm actually asking a hypothetical question merely for the sake of discussion?

I'm not asking for help with girls. Jesus.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Zephyrin

Is it inconceivable that I'm actually asking a hypothetical question merely for the sake of discussion?

Because you said in your opening post that you looked up a girl on Facebook.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Clearly separated, stating what inspired me to wonder about such a thing, whereby I wondered if different situations might elicit different responses.

I mean, most everybody could grasp that. Deni intentionally didn't because he wants to be a troll. You, however?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm not on Facebook, so I don't know much about the etiquette of the whole thing,

But say you meet someone in real life or know them from before Facebook, decide to make a friend request and they accept, wouldn't commenting on statuses or whatever be the best way to actually signal that you found something about them interesting, and then you consequently need not fear bringing it up when you meet again in person?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well hey, back in the early days of GFF when I was still in high school I remember talking about the biggest crush of my life and showing a picture of her (she knew I had this picture), but back then it required hosting on a separate site since we didn't have attachments at the time. Well, thanks to my dim-witted friend mentioning it to his dim-witted friend and that guy telling someone else, etc etc, it got back to her that I was internet stalking her and I had some weird website with pictures of her on it. So yeah, that didn't exactly help my chances any. Tread carefully.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Quote:

Is there situations (job interview, maybe) where you wouldn't expect the person to cringe when you told them you snooped them out online?

At a job interview you should expect to be googled/facebooked, and some companies have even been known to make fake people accounts to friend potential hires so they can get past some privacy settings.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I do agree with the 4 year old vacation - this may be creepy...
But i do not agree with the creepiest motherfucker in the world...
My opinion is: I do post something in facebook and make it public - so I should know, that this may happen (sure maybe she doesn't know how to change privacy settings)...
Otherwise: If you would first make contact an other way - talking in class etc. it wouldn't be creepy at all

Originally Posted by Denicalis

She will. She will care. Because he will come off like the creepiest motherfucker in the world.

Walking up to her and being all: "Hey, in those vacation shots of you from 4 years ago you looked really good. I also see we both like Fast and the Furious. Sup girl?" CREEPY.

FELIPE NO