Couple day or Single Awareness day?(V-day)

So Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Can you feel the love in the air? So what's everyone's plans for the Feb 14? or are you like me that has to work on the 14th so I've got to make the plans for the weekend before?

Or maybe this is just one giant scam by greeting card companies to get our money or maybe just by gold digging bitches.. just kidding!

So far me, I've got to work on the 14th (I work graveyard shifts) so I'm planning on taking the girlfriend out on a nice little dinner on the 11th and maybe a walk on the beach afterwards. Nothing overly fancy but just something nice and sweet.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Party day either way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Just as the sun rises, I am going sneak out of bed to put on a pot of freshly ground coffee, and immediately tie myself into a spanking machine I have constructed out of an old exercise bike, oven mitts and Christmas lights. I will peddle as fast as I can all morning long until the sounds of spanked flesh and the smell of coffee wakes my girlfriend, at which point she will emerge from the bedroom to me sobbing uncontrollably in pain, naked and sweating.

The dog will start barking at me at some point just to sweeten my misery.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Ah! Amoeba

Just as the sun rises, I am going sneak out of bed to put on a pot of freshly ground coffee, and immediately tie myself into a spanking machine I have constructed out of an old exercise bike, oven mitts and Christmas lights. I will peddle as fast as I can all morning long until the sounds of spanked flesh and the smell of coffee wakes my girlfriend, at which point she will emerge from the bedroom to me sobbing uncontrollably in pain, naked and sweating.

The dog will start barking at me at some point just to sweeten my misery.

Wow.. I wish my girlfriend would let me do something like that but I think she might get freaked out and run.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Husband has a habit of hyping it up and never delivering.

"We'll go to a hotel, I'll book one." He waits until the last moment to do so, and finds that he can't find any rooms or if he can they are insanely expensive.

"Dinner!" ...Same thing, doesn't book and I'm not a fan of going to the Olive Garden for a 'fancy' dinner.

I think I might take the wheel and say we're gonna make homemade donuts, watch Aliens, and drink schnapps.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well, I have a date tonight. Hopefully if I don't make it a trainwreck, I can actually consider this question.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm not sure what's happening on the actual day but since it's also going to be a year since we started going out (and I'm not the kind of girl who wouldn't show my appreciation on valentine's anyway) I bought us tickets to see Justice on the 13th - resale is a BITCH, but worth it I'm sure.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Donnie, you're out of your element

Every intent will be had to savor the last shot before I pop that heatsink.

This is what Valentine's Day is all about, folks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I was planning on getting drunk and bribing Acer to stream a bunch of movies that remind us certain holidays were invented by jews for the intent of other people spending money and/or an excuse for getting drunk (thus, spending more money again).

But now that I've spilled the plan here I have absolutely no Idea.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Zephyrin

Well, I have a date tonight. Hopefully if I don't make it a trainwreck, I can actually consider this question.

You'll do fine!! You'll just charm her into submission! lol

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by B4: THE LOST CITY

I was planning on getting drunk and bribing Acer to stream a bunch of movies that remind us certain holidays were invented by jews for the intent of other people spending money and/or an excuse for getting drunk (thus, spending more money again).a.

Well I can safely say Valentine's ain't ours...damn Catholics got it first...

Anyways, I have school that day and even if I wasn't single, I don't celebrate that holiday.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Furby

You'll do fine!! You'll just charm her into submission! lol

Pretty sure that's what his ex-wife did to him.

Most amazing jew boots

I think I'll buy myself an edible arrangement.

I was speaking idiomatically.

My regular girl is refusing to see any clients that day, I will probably just pick up a handle of vodka, a box of tissues, and a bag of doritos on the way home from work.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?