Money matters (relationship-related monies style ANGST)

I totally read this as "Money matters", made by Bobo.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Zephyrin

Funny thing is, I don't see any part of your post that says I'm wrong.

How can I definitively say you're wrong when I don't know Bernie personally?

Sure, there's a possibility that she's as insecure and needy as you claim.

There's also a distinct possibility that you've automatically categorized most women you encounter into 2 defined classes (insecure, emotional bitches and inconsiderate sluts) based on your absolute shit experiences with a limited amount of females.

Just because your ex-wife is a fucking WHACK JOB doesn't mean they're all fucking whack jobs, Zephy.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well anyway Bob

If you're not ready to dump the motherfucker yet, then may I suggest a compromise?

A lot of the strife you've mentioned was the fact that the only way you can get him to do anything with you is if you pay for it. Obviously you should start going out without him.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

That's an idea of pure genius. It's happened previously with nights out where I've simply gone alone, and as for Glade Festival, well. I was determined I was going to that by myself anyway when he ended up buying a ticket. I still had to pay travel costs for him but it wasn't as bad as it could have been and besides, that was down to our liftshare backing out (still would have been nice if I'd seen some of that money back at some point though). I guess it'll just have to be a kind of "it's your choice" ultimatum.

EDIT: Read your post as "Obviously you should start going out with him", thought you were referring to him as a prostitute, chuckled like a bitch. Reread, obviously.

Zeph, honestly mate, you are reading far too much into this. Yes, I have a fear of being alone, it spills over into the break-up side of things when push comes to shove (not enough to stop me dumping someone, see previous boyfriends) but what has got me there is guys with your fecking attitude who assume if a woman wants something from a relationship, she deserves everything she gets in return, no matter how bad that may be. I've let guys walk over me before because I believed your partiular philosophy on relationships, but luckily I'm starting to realise that a relationship isn't all about pleasing the other party and sacrificing everything you have in order to make that work. My feelings are as important as my partners. I'm sorry if you have a bitter view of women, and I hope you find someone who can erase your cynicism.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Bob

How patronising would it be for me to give my boyfriend (who is four years my senior) a talking to about his budgeting skills?

He seems to have no understanding of the ways of frugal shopping (I've seen him spend upwards of £10 on one night's meal), and when he was rejected by a phone company for a new contract because his credit rating was bad, he tells me he has NO IDEA how he ran out of money.

I have lent and lent and lent and lent and lent him money over the past year, always on the assurance that I will get it back but I have not seen one penny of it. This from a man who reminded me three times over within five minutes that I owed him £6, on the night that he lent me the money in the first place. I wouldn't care about the money if I saw that he was actually trying to sort his spending out but it's the same fucking story every time. I've just spent £52 on those Aphex Twin tickets because he can't afford it. At this point I'm not even lending the money to be kind, I'm doing it simply because I don't know Manchester that well and it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to go by myself. I'm at the end of my tether really.

I've bit back my tongue for the past year. Is it about time I unleashed all hell on him, or am I being a bitch for looking at it like this?

Dump the loser.

He sounds like a jackass anyways.

I mean, I'm all for splitting the bills, blah, blah, blah, but when you're constantly loaning him money, then he's going to bitch about $9? That's just bullshit. A person being irresponsible with their finances is one thing. I'm not the biggest frugal spender myself, but I get by, even if it's living month-to-month. Harassing you for money that you've lent him is a bad sign of things to come. If he's this greedy while still being irresponsible, do you really want to deal with that long term?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I had an ex-girlfriend like that, I didn't bitch being a nice guy and all until she stole one of my credit cards and ran it up $2k in less than month. I hope a situation like that doesn't happen to you.

FELIPE NO