Guns in the workplace! :cmbirthday:

Please give me my breakfast.

I don't care what you think about guns and who should or shouldn't have them. This is not a political thread and I will ban you if you air your stupid opinions. This is about guns in the workplace and good guns in workplace stories. How did your co-workers endanger or protect your life? Did something go off in your pants?


I started working at the same Steel Detailing firm my cousin worked at in Baton Rouge a few weeks after Katrina hit. Apparently in the first week after the hurricane one of our bosses brought his gun to work because he was terrified of all the black people who might try and loot the business. He wouldn't go outside without somebody with him and had my cousin walk in front of him while openly brandishing the gun in public.


Jam it back in, in the dark.

I called my coworker weird because he said he would have a gun rack mounted on the back of his truck if he lived in Texas.

Also my cousin's husband posed with a few hunting friends with their gear in her wedding photos (not all of them) but that's not workplace-specific

plz don't ban

There's nowhere I can't reach.

This happened before I started at the job, but I saw it in the person's personnel folder. The guy left his gun in plain view in his car, and someone called the cops. He got arrested, hauled away etc. My first week on the job, my boss had to fire this guy. Everyone was very afraid.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I work at a fairly shifty bar where people have been shot to death. I mean, not by employees, so I don't know if this counts.

Beating deaths are more common, in any case. Gun shit usually ends with it being waved in the air for several seconds before being disarmed and beaten by the security guys.

How ya doing, buddy?

I remember one of my coworkers was giving me a ride home once and felt it necessary to brag about (and show me) the three assault rifles he had in his trunk. For some odd reason I wasn't too alarmed by this.., but then all of the sudden out of no where he pulled out and handed me his handgun (that I didn't even know he was carrying at the time) and I remember thinking for several weeks after that that that gun was going to end up at some crime scene with my fingerprints on it.

Quote:

...that that that...

weird grammar usage...

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by yevheniy

I remember one of my coworkers was giving me a ride home once and felt it necessary to brag about (and show me) the three assault rifles he had in his trunk. For some odd reason I wasn't too alarmed by this.., but then all of the sudden out of no where he pulled out and handed me his handgun (that I didn't even know he was carrying at the time) and I remember thinking for several weeks after that that that gun was going to end up at some crime scene with my fingerprints on it.

You Ukrainians, I swear.

Similar thing happened to me at the same job site. One of my co-workers was an ex-marine, hardcore stuff, served in Marine Recon in both Afghanistan and Iraq. He had transferred from UCLA to LSU because their accounting program is hot shit, and like most marines he was kind of a shithead. My personality grated him a little bit and one time while we were out at his car he showed us his .40 caliber pistol that he kept in the glove compartment of his mini coop. He made extra sure that I got a good look at it and it didn't dawn on me until later that he was passive aggressively threatening me by showing me the gun (I'm not just projecting, he just sort of thought like that). I didn't think it was a big deal, though, since it was empty threat.

He was a fun drunk, though.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Back in 2004 when I ran a different printing company, we were in a pretty small building that had several businesses. One was a hair salon, the other was a real estate office, the other was a cell phone store and then there was us. The owner of the cell phone store is one of the coolest motherfuckers I've ever met. He's Iranian and over time we became very good friends; still are to this day. Both him and his brother were partners in the business and had concealed weapons permits because they regularly carried around obscene amounts of cash and had been robbed in the parking lot before.

When his brother moved away to start college at Fresno State, he had no one to go to the shooting range with and for about 5 months he pestered me to get a gun so I could go with him. In the end, I caved. I went with him to check out a few shops and I ended up with a GLOCK 26 9mm subcompact. Good gun, nothing outlandish and it was small enough so that I could get a concealed weapons permit if I wanted to. I applied for my HRC and after a week, I finally scrounged up the $450 that the gun cost me, picked it up and soon we were off to go pop off a few rounds at the shooting range.

One Friday night, after we were finished at the shooting range, we came back to the building pretty late and I was tired as hell. We each went to our respective businesses, picked up the week's invoices that would surely have to be put into Quickbooks the next day, went to a bar around the corner, had a couple of drinks and then I went home. The next day, I was awakened at about 10 am by a very angry phone call.

Apparently my then-business-parter had scheduled a weekend client appointment and walked into the main office with the client, only to find my Glock sitting nice and pretty on the reception desk in its holster where I had taken it off when I went to grab my invoices and forgot all about it.

Needless to say, the client never actually used us for any of his printing needs and I made it a point never to keep my gun on my person when I get back into my car after getting out of the range; instead, I put it in the trunk. I still ride out to the shooting range with my friend Ahmad to bust a cap on paper targets with pictures of George W. Bush taped where the head is supposed to be.

FELIPE NO

The woman I currently buy weed from started carrying a gun around after the bar she worked in got robbed. One day, at work, she dropped her purse and it went off, blowing away much of her ankle. She had to get a bunch of pins and shit put in.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

We can't afford guns since they're pretty expensive over this part of the world. Although I have a friend who keeps a local-made revolver in his car. The only ones who carry guns at work are the security personnel. Some even don't have guns.

We shoot criminals with our laser fingers.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

We New Englanders don't generally carry around guns unless we hold a position of authority. Needless to say, when we see them, we get nervous.

I mean, yea, there are exceptions to the rule, but I remember the first time I saw a gun in public from a civilian was at the hotel I was working at. One of the guys staying there was from Alabama, and we were buddies. He showed me his Glock from his glove compartment in his truck. It was awfully pretty, and rather heavy.

That's pretty much the only time I've touched or seen a gun in public outside of the cops or whatever.

Hunting rifles and the sort are commonplace in the country, though. Those don't startle me like these fancy handguns do. Don't I sound like a naive cunt.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Three guys came into the bar I used to be assistant manager of on a busy saturday night once, one of whom was incredibly drunk. We served his mates but only let him have a glass of water. He got beligerent and started chucking ice cubes at people so our doormen chucked him out. As he was leaving he turns to the bouncers, pulls what looks like a Mac 10 out of his jacket and starts waving it at them. They did the sensible thing, i.e. backed off slowly until his mates told him to stop fucking about and get in the car. As he was leaving he shouted over his shoulder that he'd be back on monday to sort this out. One police chase later they found the car abandoned in a scummy estate in Brighton.

Anyway, a mate of mine owns a flak jacket and I've had it at my house for years. It's pretty warm so I wear it when it snows. I thought it'd be funny to turn up to work on monday wearing it...

As I walked through the door, the manager grabs me and hurls me onto the floor behind the bar before having a massive go at me. Apparently, because of the threat there was a police sniper team on the roof opposite and two armed guys in the bar. When I walked in in a bullet proof vest they had assumed I was the gun man and were waiting for the fire order to take me out. There had been three red dots on the back of my head and both guys in the bar had gone for their pockets. I was, by all accounts seconds from a messy and violent death.

So yeah, wasn't really such a funny joke in hindsight but I did get to know the two hardcases in the bar which was nice and they still say hi to me when I see them to this day.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

At the dealership I used to work at, the foreman was an incredible dick. Prided himself on having the job where he did nothing but tell everybody else what to do, oh, and having incredibly suffocating farts. I still wonder why it took so many years for them to fire the douchebag.

Nothing really exciting ever happened, but he was known to carry a gun in his case he brought in to work everyday. Just another way to compensate for whatever he was lacking, I guess.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

No offense, Zeph but I was expecting you to have the most interesting gun story. Shin was the last person I expected to have a great guns-at-work story.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Vemp

We shoot criminals with our laser fingers.

Here, lasers shoot us. At least me, though. I accidentally shot myself in the fingernail while doing research stuff, and it exploded a cavity of a few micrometers onto the top of my nail.

It's a funny joke now, but right there and then I thought I was going to DIE.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

A couple of years ago, a woman was at a blackjack table downstairs and she had her purse sitting in the chair next to her. something happened and it got knocked off the seat. when it hit the ground, the pistol she had in her purse fired. No one was injured. Just scared the shyte out of a bunch of dealers which is funny to me.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Bradylama

No offense, Zeph but I was expecting you to have the most interesting gun story. Shin was the last person I expected to have a great guns-at-work story.

No kidding, right?

Gimme a year or so. Now that I'm military, I'll have PLENTY of gun stories pretty soon.

That given, where's rotor?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Probably high-fiving his marine buddies for chucking puppies off a cliff.

How ya doing, buddy?