Thinking of heading back home

Originally Posted by Shorty

Seems like your mind is set on one thing and all you need from us is a confirmation on your feelings.

Exactly this.

You're not here to get opinions - you're hear to find out if people agree with what you're feeling. And in this case, I say leave. Seriously - you're going to end up hating things more and more the longer you stay.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thanks for all the help everyone. I think the quote Zergrinch provided sums up how I want to approach this. I need to cut clean and head back to CA.

Of course, I also have pressing work issues, so this will have to wait until next month. I suppose that will also give me time to either reaffirm or reconsider* my decision. I already have a place to stay when I arrive in CA, so I don't have to worry about that. I don't have a lot of belongings; they can all fit in my car. By the way, I'm finally going to make that cross-country car trip I pussed out on when I came here to VA.

My boyfriend can find a roommate. This is a nice house and we have an empty bedroom/bathroom here that we chose not to "fill" because we can make the mortgage payments ourselves. Also, he has a good job, and family/friends to fall back on. Worrying about his living situation is foolish, and worrying about his emotions is probably just the same.

I have to be honest. While my brother is the most important person to me, and while I like living new places, I think I really only had two goals in mind when I came to VA:
1) Move in with my boyfriend. I was desperate. I never had a real relationship. I wanted something different. He seemed to have good morals and values, and shared some peculiar interests with me. I thought it was too good to be true... well, perhaps that's right.
2) Move out of my mother's house. I love my mother, and she's a sweet person, but she's too clingy. I wanted to have more privacy and not put up with any more crap from her stupid boyfriends/husbands. It was one of the exact same reasons I chose to go to college in Arizona. Only, in that case, I had a goal (school), and friends I cared about.

Where am I at right now? I'm living with a guy whom I've thought about breaking up with for over a year. A guy who I'm currently seriously considering leaving. And on that line of reasoning, it only makes sense that now is the time to cut clean.

I have no goals out here that I can't fulfill elsewhere. I thought this might be a good place to get into learning music with so many OCR people around -- and yes, I am taking piano lessons. However, if I really push myself, I'm sure there's plenty of opportunity in CA, especially living only an hour north of Los Angeles. Anyway, that's a minor issue.

Breaking up won't be easy to do, but I'm up for the challenge. In the meantime, you guys have any idea of places I should visit or things I should do while I'm still out here?

* (only providing something major happens)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by a lurker

this doesn't sound like a cluster to me, it just sounds like you're too inert to do what you want to do so you want Gamingforce to decide for you.

THREAD POLL -- GO!

I say break it off, much like everyone else, but it sounds like your boyfriend is quite a decent fella. Which makes it all the more painful to imagine doing. If they were an alkie or a complete dickhead, it'd be easier.

You could always engineer a plan to get him drunk and get someone else to sleep with him ;V

"MY GOD. I'VE BEEN BETRAYED. THIS IS OVER~"

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Originally Posted by Gechmir

I say break it off, much like everyone else, but it sounds like your boyfriend is quite a decent fella. Which makes it all the more painful to imagine doing. If they were an alkie or a complete dickhead, it'd be easier.

You could always engineer a plan to get him drunk and get someone else to sleep with him ;V

"MY GOD. I'VE BEEN BETRAYED. THIS IS OVER~"

Yeah, I know. It will be difficult, but I'll try to be as nice as I can about it. You know, putting antiseptic on the flesh before I cut it wide open. I actually thought about getting in a situation where he does something that makes it appear as though he offended me strongly in some way to make me want to break up... but that would be cruel. Aside from just missing me, he would also feel guilt about what he did that apparently made me leave.

I'd like to still be friends with him after this. There's a possibility it won't work that way, but I'm willing to take the risk.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Start building an elaborate domino line throughout the house one night. He'll get up the next morning and accidentally set it off. Throw a fit. Point dramatically. Leave.

How ya doing, buddy?

I told my boyfriend this past Saturday night... He was really upset about it, but wasn't angry. In fact, he was worried that I was mad at him, but I assured him I was not.

I care about him and I hope he can find a way to truly be happy. Unfortunately, I can't be the one to do it. I'm sure we can still be friends though, which satisfies me.

FELIPE NO

This time are you going to do a a fun cross-country road trip in order to get back home?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

This time are you going to do a a fun cross-country road trip in order to get back home?

Hell yes, I am! I actually have a friend from CA flying out here and we're going together. We're going through Pittsburgh, South Bend IN, Chicago, Las Vegas, and several other cities along the way.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Glad you made the choice to cut it as soon as possible. The longer you drag it, the more pain it could potentially cause. The best thing for you to do is to give him space and not expect friendship right after a break up. In fact, depending on how long you've been going out, it could take some good months to get him thinking about friendship and get over the potential resentment of a break up.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

you've gotta do what's best for you
if you liuve your life worrying about what is best for others, sure they may all be happy but you will be miserable
if they love you then they will understand

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Hell yes, I am! I actually have a friend from CA flying out here and we're going together. We're going through Pittsburgh, South Bend IN, Chicago, Las Vegas, and several other cities along the way.

Be sure to ride on the stretch of I-70 west of Denver on your way to Vegas. I talked one of my friends that just made a trip out here to do it and he agreed it was the best stretch of highway anywhere in the country.

Also, on your way to Vegas that way you can hit Arches National Park, Bryce National Park, Canyonlands National Park, and Zion National Park. And, if you're interested in large scale engineering projects, the Hoover Dam is right near Vegas!

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Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Be sure to ride on the stretch of I-70 west of Denver on your way to Vegas. I talked one of my friends that just made a trip out here to do it and he agreed it was the best stretch of highway anywhere in the country.

I just so happen to be driving along that entire stretch, so I shall see if you're right!

Thanks for the info on the parks and such; I'll look into them.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Dee

The longer you drag it, the more pain it could potentially cause.

This is true; I've always said breaking up with someone is like peeling a bandaid (or waxing)...the quicker you do it the less pain it is in the long-run.

Have a safe drive back Kaleb.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Shorty

Have a safe drive back Kaleb.

Thanks, Yumi! Hopefully we can have another meet sometime soon too.

FELIPE NO