Do you remember your first love?

While this query could be answered by anyone, it's aimed at the older members here. The older you are, the more relevant this question will be.

Do you remember your first love? How long ago were you together, and what was the duration of the relationship? At the time, did you feel like you couldn't or wouldn't ever forget them, and hoped to stay in touch for as long as possible? As you grew apart from them (for whatever reason) as your life progressed, how did it make you feel, and how do you feel about them now?

I'm just wondering how time has affected the relationship you had with the first person you've ever loved. Do share any stories!

How ya doing, buddy?

Yes. This was in my senior year in high school and it lasted one month. At first I hoped we never lose contact but as time went on, it was quite obvious we were going very different paths. I had the normal set of feelings from hurt to frustration to confusion to just simply moving on. I haven't talked to this individual for years now but a couple of my friends either directly or indirectly keep in contact with her. However, I myself haven't tried to contact her simply because there is just nothing to say and while I have no bad feelings about things from that long ago, nor do I want to think too much about the past.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I remember it fairly vividly. I was 14 when I was in my first "relationship" (that makes it ten years ago)--I had crushes on other girls before but that never went very far... That means I was shot down.

Anyway, I was crazy about this girl, we'd skip school to walk in the park together for hours and hold hands. In a way, it was the most romantic relationship I've ever been in. However, she was 4 years older than me, which meant she was in the last year of our high school period (it lasts till 18 if you go to a certain school), so when she left high school to go to college, we just kinda grew apart--for whatever reason, it didn't upset me much. I moved on to other girls fairly quickly, though I wouldn't have another serious relationship (one that lasted more than a week that is) for 3 years. I did see her one time a couple years ago completely coincidentally, and we talked and got along swimmingly.

If I was a little more mature at the time, perhaps we could still be together now. (Not that I regret it, the girl I'm dating now is way cuter. )

How ya doing, buddy?

Of course I remember my first love. He was a complete asshole, and I was a complete moron.

I don't remember him fondly, unfortunately. Can't you tell?

His name was Jon. He was one of those punk types. The first time I saw him was at lunch when I was a junior in high school. He had transferred in from another high school in the city. He was sitting on a knoll reading A Clockwork Orange. I was standing around with my friends, behaving badly.

I walked right up to him and talked to him. God knows where I got that confidence. It was out of left field. Started talking to him about the book.

From there, we were pretty much inseparable. He got me into partying, sneaking out at night, being a belligerent asshole, all that shit. I remember being head-over-heels in love with that asshole.

We were only together from about Halloween until spring. It wasn't long. What high school relationships are, really?

It was all kinds of awful. I had a job. He didn't. He liked using my money for drinking and I was A-OKAY with that because, ha ha, I got to spend time with him.

The break-up I remember taking really hard. I cried and cried and cried. I ate next to nothing. I lost a LOT of weight (probably the thinnest I've ever been). To this day, I'm angry with him for the things he did (which I won't go into here, but they're pretty awful).

I should hate on myself for being so goddamn blind too. And I do. But I learned from the experience, and I've moved on.

Just recently, Jon had a baby with his longterm girlfriend. I want to be happy for him. I really do. But I can't be.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The night before I left she tied a string around my wrist and asked me to stay. I'm still wearing the string, but I left all the same.

I was speaking idiomatically.

While you were in the relationship (or in the months after), was the prospect of dis-communication with the other in your future unfathomable? How did that idea change as time went on?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Free.User

While you were in the relationship (or in the months after), was the prospect of dis-communication with the other in your future unfathomable? How did that idea change as time went on?

I have no idea if this is a general question to all, but I feel compelled to respond.

I felt like it was the end of the world when we stopped talking out of nowhere. And that's what depressed me most, I think. I wasn't just losing a relationship; I was losing a friend. I have no idea why I WANTED him as my friend in retrospect, but you know how it is.

I got used to not having him around so much, though. I got over it pretty fast. It was hard to see him flirting with other girls in the hallway sometimes, but I stayed out of it, and turned my head.

We still haven't talked once since we broke up.

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It's just a natural thing to hate forceful change I think. You get so used to having someone/something in your life that it becomes difficult when they/it isn't there anymore. Most people, with time, get over it after they get used to it-- some people are dwellers though (like me) and it can take a long time to adjust to losing someone they considered important to them.

Not really proud of that, but I'm definitely always going to be that way. When I'm alone all I can do is think back on painful things, so I try and keep myself as busy as possible to avoid it. Video games and work help I guess. I imagine most people function that way anyway, but in my case it's pretty extreme, because it seems like no matter how much time goes on if I find myself doing nothing I start to dwell, and then I get drunk or do other retarded things I'd never do under normal circumstances.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

@ Sass: Yeah, that question was directed at everyone, but your response confirmed that I was phrasing my question the right way.

The change you two are referring to is the difficult part for me right now. Perhaps I am in denial that I will eventually move away from this person, but right now the idea of close friendship is something I don't want to let go of. I guess only time will tell what happens, and patience is going to play a large role.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My first love was fantastic, but I was always under a bit of pressure from friends cause of age differences. We were together for three months, and it took me about a year to finally properly get over it. Probably because I kept remembering all the great times we had. I'm over her, but I still reminisce about how things could've been

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Free.User

The change you two are referring to is the difficult part for me right now. Perhaps I am in denial that I will eventually move away from this person, but right now the idea of close friendship is something I don't want to let go of. I guess only time will tell what happens, and patience is going to play a large role.

I promise you, it will go away. Especially if you're cut off completely from that person.

Pain tends to linger if you're exposed to your ex and have to watch them a lot. Or if you remain friends - I always find it hard to get over a love if you try and remain friends. I perceive it as keeping a wound open.

But some people can do fine with it. I guess it depends on how intense the relationship was.

But yea, anyways, the point is that eventually your pain will lessen and lessen and lessen. But you'll never forget your first love, and you'll always have a place for them somewhere inside your head.

How ya doing, buddy?

My first love lasted about 2 and a half years, with ups and downs.
It finally ended because I was tired of staying up until 4am every morning arguing about stupid things that open-minded people don't argue about.

I still have a fond place for her in my heart, but I doubt she has that for me. In anycase, it's fine.

I'm in love with a girl now and it's wonderful, but she can't forget her first love...we all have to go through it I guess.

I wonder when she's gonna stop letting him treat her like shit.

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Originally Posted by JGsniper

I still have a fond place for her in my heart, but I doubt she has that for me. In anycase, it's fine.

How did the realization (that you wouldn't be close to her like you were before) play out? Was it just a fact that you had to accept over time?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Free.User

How did the realization (that you wouldn't be close to her like you were before) play out? Was it just a fact that you had to accept over time?

Honestly, it happened over time...a period of three years? First relationships are pretty strong...there's usually alot invested.

The realization was quite sudden. I suddenly just decided to give up, after seeking advice from my friends (adult and my age).

Some of the things my adult friends told me that I remember...

"Close your eyes and imagine her in bed being held by another man. If that doesn't make you jealous with rage then is it really the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

and

"We find something and grab onto it. And then we walk around, holding on to this precious thing. No matter what passes by, if we have our precious thing, we don't see it. Our hand is full and we are satisfied. Unless we aren't satisfied."

Anyway, feel free to discuss. They aren't my words.

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I've never been in an actual relationship but I had the situation where I truly believed I was in love with this guy I worked with in PA. I can't explain it but I saw him everyday and just knew that he was the guy. Unfortunatley, he wasn't interested which sucked but I told him I liked him and that's a big step for me. I've only ever done that with one other guy.

It's funny how things work out. The ones you want who don't want you or the one's you like who do like you but it's just bad timing.

FELIPE NO

I felt it nessary to post here about two first loves in hopes that googlebot will swoop here and add it forever on the internets.

My first Love Was Ambrosia Robinson from Cornelious. We lived in a group home together.. About a year later she went home with her parents but wrote letters and kept in touch for a short time.. We lost contact but I still find my self comparing girls to her..


My other first love.. Was more of a best friend, Tracy farley also from Cornelious. We went to forest grove high school together, she was the only girl I knew in school that wore combat boots like I did.. Although I live close " I'm sure " to tracy, and I assume Ambrosia lives in same state, they both arte most likely married with children.. Who knows but I will forever think about both of them.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'm unsure of my first love. I believe I was in love before my first relationship, but then again I was at "that age" so it could have just been a crush that seemed unbearable at the time.

My first relationship I do think I was in love. That ended four years ago, after a period of a year and three months. There was a lot going on in my life when we broke up, enough I think to destroy a relationship blamelessly. Making the transition back to friends again was difficult but its been successful. It took a while for us both to adjust (he to stop loving me and me to get over my guilt) and I was unsure due to his continuing feelings for me whether or not I wanted to keep in contact with him, but we've managed to stay good friends to this day.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

A case of thirteen-year-old mutual puppy love bullshit wound up becoming protracted, long-distance, messy and eventually unrequited over a period of about a year. Shit started up again around two years ago when she decided to get back into contact and quickly ended when I saw her again at last in '07. Became clear that I was completely oblivious to her actual stance on things and I was being led down the garden path.

Was awesomely life-affirming while it lasted, although I have a hard time thinking about her and her taking-things-for-granted approach without being incredibly bitter.

After more unrelated relationship disappointments recently, I'm still waiting for something more substantial.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

We still haven't talked once since we broke up.

That's what happens, I feel even though you may talk after the "break-up" once one person stops talking that's it ,you no longer have the intrest of talking to each other.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Trace-S

That's what happens, I feel even though you may talk after the "break-up" once one person stops talking that's it ,you no longer have the intrest of talking to each other.

Are you on lithium or something? Of course there's no interest! When one person severs contact, the silent message to the other is "Hey you, fuck off. Acknowledging each other is no longer a feature of our relationship!"

But I like the way you think, it's so universal. "When concept X ceases to be, then the cessation shall be applied directly to concept X." This works on so many levels:

"I'm out of margarine. Therefore, I no longer have margarine!"
"My wedding ring fell into the garbage disposal. Therefore, I am no longer married."
"I shot my annoying neighbor in the face with a harpoon launcher. Therefore, I no longer have an annoying neighbor."


I'm severely tempted to change your name to "Cap'n Obvious", just because I'm a fond supporter of WYSIWYG propositions.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

First love? Loool ;'( I've had a few crushes, to be honest, but I'd hardly qualify those as "first loves". High school? I got to go there since my mother worked there. Nice private academy, but the girls were 99% spoiled rotten. I couldn't stand a single one of them.

College? About 3 years of that, I spent working a lot alongside my studies (which were also pretty fucking crazy by themselves). A couple girls expressed interest in me (a few I found out about later. A few had pretty mad crushes on me but I'm too fuckin' dense to spot them), but I'd end up not noticing or they'd lose interest because I was always moving a hundred miles an hour.

I don't consider myself hideous (maybe I'm in denial ) or a social leper (lol i have internet buddies). I just chalk it up to never having my head in the game or being in the wrong place and the wrong time.[/excuses]

I was speaking idiomatically.

Fell in love my Junior year of HS with a girl a year younger than me. Kept the relationship going for 2 years until I graduated, then I moved a day's drive away for college. She said she wanted to keep it going, and we did for awhile (3 months). She grew distant, I learned she was leading me on while seeing another guy. "We" were in love, and I never got over her.

Ugh...I still have her cell number memorized. *goes off and ANGSTs for awhile*

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

My first love cheated on me. On Valentine's Day, with a good friend at the time.

FELIPE NO

damn, thinking about this reminds me that i'm old. that was a long time ago. almost 13 years ago type long time. She's the reason i hate cheerleaders.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?