Simple 2000 Vol. 95: The Zombie vs Ambulance / Zombie Virus

Developer: Vingt-et-un Systems
Publisher: D3 Publisher / Essential Games

Welcome to Sunlight City, a city filled with.. well, not much. While you're here, you might as well meet Generic Joe, who apparently spends his days researching in the basement of Sunlight Hospital, the happiest place on Earth, provided you're on morphine. Joe's good friend Suzie is with him, 'researching', when out of nowhere, an earthquake! It's over in the blink of an eye, much like their research.. but something is wrong! "Everyone in the city has died" the screen reveals, as it zooms out to show the once bright city now covered in brown and grey. So if everyone's dead, what are Joe and Suzie? They obviously can't be human, perhaps they're pre-packaged cheese samplers?

Rushing upstairs, Suzie presses her face up against a window for maximum viewing pleasure, only to spot... a ZOMBIE. Quickly, back to the basement! It's there they stumble upon a radio and tune into a news broadcast informing them about the situation in a half-arsed fashion. Apparently ninety percent of Sunshine City's citizens are dead. Never mind that the game just told us 'everyone' had died mere seconds earlier. How did the news team even get this information so quick? An internet poll? "Are you dead? Yes/No". It's a video game mystery. Equipped with this radio and a stylish white coat, Joe hops in an ambulance and decides to look for survivors. Compelling! Game start!

I suppose the best way to describe Zombie Virus would be Crazy Taxi meets Carmageddon. You roam the extremely bland streets in search of survivors while furiously slamming into the mostly harmless zombies that pop up in front of you. Everyone in Sunlight City must have been a lawyer, as the zombies will chase your ambulance around the place. Luckily a moving vehicle is slightly more powerful than a shuffling, decaying body. Sometimes they might latch onto the roof, which is very dangerous! Shake the two analogue sticks as fast as you can, Mario Party style and they'll fall off. Phew, safe forever. The game allows you to rack up kill combos, and for some reason, Suzie feels the need to scream important praise into the radio when you're doing well. "GOOD! GEEEREAT! EXCENT!" Excent is the result of a Japanese voice actor trying to say 'excellent' it would seem.

Survivors come complete with gigantic blue rings floating around them so you know they're okay. They're split up into categories; there are the army men, the mechanics, the normal boring folk and the politicians. Those last two are the same, really. But they all come in handy, so it's recommended you don't try and leave tire marks on their faces! Transporting them back to the hospital can be a bit of a hospital drama in itself, as you've only got a limited amount of time before they too turn into zombies. If you're a bit confused at following the gigantic green arrow on screen and don't make it back before they turn, your ambulance will suffer a huge amount of damage and you'll need to crash yourself into a wall to hurl it out. It's almost like giving birth.



Get everyone to the safety of the hospital basement garage bat cave and put them to work! Mechanics can help upgrade your ambulance with new exciting things. Wheels, bumper bars, engines, headlights, they can even build you whole new ambulances. But what do they use for parts? ZOMBIES. Yes, to complete these upgrades, you're required to go out there and kill a certain amount of zombies. Want those new headlights? That'll be two hundred and sixty zombies mate. This is absolutely fantastic and makes more sense than you and I could ever imagine. Army men will help boost the morale around the joint, because that's what they do, you know. If you spend too much time farting around the city without bringing anyone back, everyone at the hospital will get depressed. This is indicated by a large picture of the hospital on-screen, if it goes red, game over!

Politicians are unfortunately the most important people to try and find, they're crucial to gain access to other parts of the city. The game attempts to explain why the city is locked up into five areas, with each one containing four politicians that each hold a key that are combined into one big key to unlock the tunnel doors, but it doesn't do a very good job. Lucky not a single one of the politicians became a zombie, I guess. Also worth mentioning, the cut scenes aren't voiced, so you'll be reading the badly translated text below. Yet the characters will do the strangest actions as they stand on the spot, I assume it's to let you know who's talking, but wow. They'll shake their fists, kick the air, and sometimes they'll do this weird motion that looks like they're trying to honk a horn. Oh well, anyway, if you think you can just happily drive into a new area then no, your thought is incorrect! A boss will always get in your way the instant you unlock a new area. Some giant slug, a Rambo zombie that can run on walls.. yeah. All of them can be taken care of with some horrific driving skills.

The difficulty ramps up as you explore these new locations, as you'll be driving longer to reach the hospital. There are items hidden along the way such as a giant needle which will give the survivors a few more seconds before they turn, but unless you know some shortcuts, you're probably going to be doing a lot of crashing into walls! Your first ambulance will only have enough room for two passengers, which can make things very tedious. Going back and forth over and over again, having to witness the most annoying loading screen ever. This isn't a game you'll want to play for hours on end. The city itself doesn't help, everything looks the same. You eventually get to visit a big park area, but without kite flying, what good is a park?

The graphics are complete rubbish, which is to be expected but still, there's really not much in the way of music and the gameplay almost feels like a chore, but yet... there's something strangely addictive about the whole thing. On more than one occasion I found myself going back to rescue more idiots just 'one more time' and before I knew it, an hour or so had vanished. Amusingly, if you try and pick up someone when your ambulance is full, they'll respond with something such as "OH... MY GOD!" or "NO, NOOOOOO!" then instantly run away. Even through solid walls if they have to. Zombie Virus is another victim of a pretty great idea for a mindless video game held back by the development budget. You'll probably have some stupid fun with it, I know I did!


Just get used to seeing this screen a lot!

Final score:

Jam it back in, in the dark.

LOL, I got to witness this game at Otakon a couple years ago...Easily one of the greatest games ever made.

How ya doing, buddy?

SO what sort of advanced ambulances do you get? Mystical super limo sized ones that hold 80 people? =o

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I only ever got up to one that eventually held six goons. But it had a sweet rocket booster on the roof and a bumper bar with spikes all over it!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?