If you had a friend that woke up from a 20 year coma, what first would you tell them?

Would this person even really be a friend anymore? Well, if he even has the capacity of a five year old after a twenty-year coma I'd tell him all the things that have happened in my life. You know, maybe then he could live vicariously through my last twenty years because his last twenty consist of a BIG EMPTY FUCKING HOLE.

Plus Star Wars prequels, the old trilogy having had just ended two and a half years before he went down.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd say:

"Wow--you missed the tail end of neon clothes, George Michael is gay, Michael Jackson keeps getting lighter, Saturday Night Live isn't as funny anymore, portable phones are REALLY portable--think communicators from Star Trek, the original series, there's been Star Trek:TNG, Star Trek: DS9, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Enterprise, and the 11th Star Trek Movie's coming out in 2008, computers are MUCH better, and we have DVDs. Anything depressing--read a newspaper."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Those diapers you were wearing before? Ehh, they aren't gonna fit you anymore, buddy."

How ya doing, buddy?

Go back to sleep. Seriously.

I wouldn't tell them anything specific, just act as if the past 20 years had never happened. It would freak them the hell out if they didn't realise they were missing a fifth of a century anyway >.<

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'd get a mirror and paint a grasshopper face on it, scream when I saw him, and then show him the mirror.

(Please someone laugh at this joke)

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by LeHah

(Please someone laugh at this joke)

This is the point where I chuckled ^^;

It reminds me of the part in fantastic 4 where johnny tricks the bug guy to thinking his face was a mess.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'd just drop a conveniently nearby laptop onto his lap, say "You've been asleep for twenty years. You can look up what you missed on Google", then wave as I walk out the door.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by valiant

"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!!"

And then point out that this is an allusion to a show he/she never watched (Futurama).

I 2nd that one..
Then i'd give him a in a pill form

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'd do the thing from ctrl alt delete when ethan thought he made a time machine and it blew up and transported him to the future and everything he loves is illegal; like video games and such. Except exchange video games with whatever my buddy who's been sleeping for twenty years likes. Than expose it to him as a joke and than like hope he doesn't jump out the window. Prolly can't with his weak ass legs anyways.

edit:

Originally Posted by Leknaat

I'd say:

"Wow--you missed the tail end of neon clothes, George Michael is gay, Michael Jackson keeps getting lighter, Saturday Night Live isn't as funny anymore, portable phones are REALLY portable--think communicators from Star Trek, the original series, there's been Star Trek:TNG, Star Trek: DS9, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Enterprise, and the 11th Star Trek Movie's coming out in 2008, computers are MUCH better, and we have DVDs. Anything depressing--read a newspaper."

wait wait! We have HD-DVD's now remember, that or Blu-ray discs whichever you fancy.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"Congratulations, you escaped euthanasia."

How ya doing, buddy?

Your bed was broken when I got here.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'd definitely tell him to go back to sleep. Assuming he can't just drop back into a coma at will, though, I'd have to introduce him to laptops, portable entertainment devices, and cellular phones first. Once his mind has been completely annihilated by the possibilities of instant communication always at your fingertips, as well as free porn-on-demand, I'll ask him if he wants to give me any collectors items and/or stocks he owned from back then, and sell them and become filthy rich, Blast from the Past style.

I'd also have to be very careful to point out that almost nobody who dresses like a hooker actually is one, so as to save him embarrassment, but I'd point that out after a few encounters conveniently captured on my digital camcorder.

Also, Mario. He's "three-dimensional" now. The guy would either wet himself with joy or claw his eyeballs out.

How ya doing, buddy?

We sold all your personal possessions to fund your medical care, you owe me $35000.

FELIPE NO

You're moving with your aunte and uncle in Bel-Air!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'd probably tell him to go back to sleep or he'll have to pay one HELL of a medical bill.

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