Forum Game: Corrupt Wish

Originally Posted by Thanatos

I wish I'm dead.

Wish granted.

But, you find that death is truly not the end, and due to your sins, you are forced to wait at the end of a huge line at the office of the Secretary of Reincarnation. The line, and room, looks exceedingly long. In fact, you can't even see the opposite wall of the office, not much less the desks at the end of the line. You get bored and start causing a ruckus in the line, and are promply escorted to a movie theater, where you are strapped down and forced to perpetually watch 3rd-rate kung fu movies from the 70s, Clockwork Orange style.


I wish I understood VHDL.

Double Post:
Shoot, you beat me.

Originally Posted by Digital_Divider

I wish I had enough money to buy whatever I wanted at the rennaissance festival... without taking out a loan.

Wish granted, however you find that, after the day is up, you have purchased everything at the festival, including all of the performers.

Good luck feeding them though. Man cannot live off of turkey legs alone.


I wish I understood VHDL.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

You are. Unfortunately, you are instantly reincarnated as a goldfish at the bottom of a college student's long-neglected aquarium, where you will spend the next two years trying to get sucked into the water pump to die again ... but can't.


I wish that I had a 4.0 gpa.


Edit:

You do. But tomorrow it will be abandoned in every workplace on earth in favour of new technology that you have no hope of comprehending.

I was speaking idiomatically.

You get a 4.0gpa but you find out that they raised the gpa system to 12 points. You just failed your year at university.

I wish I had a goldfish.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by splur

I wish I had a goldfish.

Wish granted.

However, due to the sudden sensation of deja vu, you think that the goldfish is a primeval relative stuck in a goldfish's body. You start talking to it, and it miraculously talks back. However, when you show this to all of your friends and family, they think you're insane because the goldfish only talks to you. You start carrying the goldfish around with you all of the time in hopes that it will talk in public, never putting your mind at ease.

I wish for a magic flying carpet.

FELIPE NO

Wish granted.

But along with your magic carpet comes your very own Aladdin. You two fly through the endless daimond sky singing "A Whole New World" and at the end you two kiss. It's very romantic and you two decide to marry. (this was in hopes that you are a guy... if not, replace Aladdin with Apu).

I wish I could leave work now.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Wish granted.

You leave work now but that results in your boss firing you. You don't give a shit and live out the movie "Office Space." However, instead of being happy at the end of the movie, you get trapped in the burning building.

I wish Gamingforce Xchange was back.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

I wish Gamingforce Xchange was back.

Granted. However, Xchange is now an exchange program for porn and prostitution that Bobo uses in order to gain extra money. You are kidnapped by a few GFF ninjas and are sent to the black market where a gamer friend of Osama's dresses you like Laura Croft and you must perform lewd acts to survive until another GFF user exchanges you for Angelina Jolie. No one on GFF wants to trade Jolie.

I wish for a pet dragon to obey my every command.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Granted.

However the dragon gets suspicious about your commands, from burning the homeless, orphanages and wild life refuges. The dragon thinks you need a change of direction in your life so be brings back the pope instead of the hooker you asked him to get. The pope tries to preach to you about your wrong doings and you make the dragon eat him to shut him up. You ask the dragon to get the hooker that you wanted. Tired of your commands the dragon brings back Paris Hilton, you are more horrified with the delivery and make the dragon eat her.

The dragon eats Paris Hilton and tries as it might it cannot fly, you question how the dragon can be so full as to why it cannot fly, and it replies saying that Paris’ ego was so filling that it made him to heavy to fly.

I wish that customers would stop calling to my call center.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Chibi Neko

I wish that customers would stop calling to my call center.

Wish granted. You are unbothered by calls at your job, and for a while things are peaceful, until your boss, seeing the sudden massive drop in productivity, fires you. Try as you might, you are unable to find a new job, and you end up on the streets, living in a cardboard box and fighting with hobos in order to drink their sweet sweet hobo wine, made from fermented rats, orange peels, and half-chewed Juicy Fruit.

I wish to be immortal.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by MinionOfCthulhu

I wish to be immortal.

Wish granted. However, you are to spend the rest of your immortal life sitting down in a small room, listening to Backstreet Boys music for all eternity.



I wish the birds outside will stop using my car as a toilet.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Wish granted.

Instead, the zookeepers from the local zoo use your car as a dumping ground for all the turd they shovel up out of the various enclosures. Your car is now buried in a huge, steaming pile of plop.

I wish some of you kids would put a little more thought into your replies so I didn't have to keep deleting them.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Wish granted.

However, people start putting too much thought into their replies, and every scenario becomes an essay of Crash Landon journal proportions. Eventually, the Gamingforce server gets overloaded with the overwhelming amounts of text it now holds, and the inevitable crash occurs. After 3 weeks, someone manages to get ahold of bobo to rectify the situation, and the boards finally come back up, after deleting this thread. However, it is too late. Most of the members have finally become fed up with the crashes, and leave forever, turning the once proud GFF into a barren internet wasteland.

I wish I ate breakfast this morning.

FELIPE NO

Wish granted, however the milk you had with the cereal was slightly bad. Because of that, you spend the rest of the day on the can, moaning when your butt seems like a nuclear explosion.

I wish that every fanboy around the globe would just shut up.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Wish granted.

edit - Every fanboy does shut up, but they start stalking only you. This turns out to be way more annoying than before and you get angrier every day. One day you go on a murder rampage and spend the rest of your life in jail getting some manly love from the immates.

I wish my mouse worked.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Wish granted.

Your mouse now works. However, because its so small, and can barely do any appreciable amount of work, it gets paid less than minimum wage. The mouse then attempts to protest to get equal rights as a taxpaying worker, and even gets into the news. However, due to the fact that it is the only mouse that works, and PETA is getting all over this case, no one cares anymore.

I wish my chair were more comfortable. *fidgets*

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Your wish is granted. You get a new chair, much more comfortable than your current one. However, it is possess by an evil entity. You start not getting enough sleep due to paranoia that it will attack you if you close your eyes. Your work suffers. Your health suffers. However, you have a comfortable chair.


I wish the American Civil War had never happened.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

I wish the American Civil War had never happened.

Wish granted, the United States were never united. It never developed a strong military so it was taken over by Canada. The abolishment of slavery never happened and Americans became slaves to the Canadians. All people of African-American decent were either sent back to Africa where they enjoyed luxurious lives in the jungle with their treehouse mansions and monkey butlers; or they stayed in the US and became slave masters of the former white Americans now known as sub-Canadians.

I wish the war in Iraq would end so our gas prices could return to normal.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Wish granted. Consequently, the economy is unable to adapt to an instant normalization of gas prices, and as a result massive inflation takes place. The economy indicates a new even more disastrous depression period after mere months and necessities such as water spike up to the price of $50 a bottle. Keynes weeps in his grave.


I wish that NA would have first priority in game releases, even faster than Japan.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Summonmaster

I wish that NA would have first priority in game releases, even faster than Japan.

Wish granted. However, this causes a rise in illegal immigration not only from Mexico, but from Asian countries with gamers who are used to getting the best games first. The U.S. and Canada realizes the hurt in a rising number of illegal immigration from citizens who are smarter than the naturalized or native born NA citizens and these countries decide to ban all video games from NA countries in order to combat immigration. No more video games unless you order from outside the U.S.

I wish that inflation wasn't going up 3.5% or higher.

How ya doing, buddy?

Wish granted! It isn't. However, this is because the US and Canada both just sank into the ocean, with the exception of Georgia, so the Georgians are the only ones left to carry on the memory of north america to the world.


I wish my boyfriend loved me.

FELIPE NO

Wish granted.

Your boyfriend starts loving you, as a sister. You two are now good friends which doesn't satisfy your needs. The relationship is over and you're left in the worst of moods.

I wish I could fly.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by splur

Wish granted.

Your boyfriend starts loving you, as a sister. You two are now good friends which doesn't satisfy your needs. The relationship is over and you're left in the worst of moods.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. However, to get this ability you must have hollow bones and become a weird mutated bird-like creature. Some people mistaken you for an angel and they praise and worship you until Dick Cheney mistakes you for a duck and shoot you in the face. Your worshippers lose faith in you since you were suppose to be indistructable and decide to sell you to a zoo.

I wish my college would give us real tuition instead of stealing our scholarships and pell grants.

Jam it back in, in the dark.