Please teach me how to cook asian food!

One trick is that if you're working with meats and vegetables, getting an oil that goes to really high temperatures and getting it to that temperature is generally good. Most Asian people I've known use canola or corn oil, and over a flame rather than an electric element is generally preferred on a stovetop.

For fried rice, an easy option is spam (you'd be surprised how good this is - you can go lighter on the soy sauce, and heavy on mixed vegetables). Also, when using frozen mixed vegetables, I personally recommend picking out the green beans because their taste is too strong. When I make fried rice I cook everything separately - steam or boil the vegetables, fry the egg, fry the meat, chuck it all together with a bit of extra oil and the rice, add the soy sauce and toss it around for a while.

I also like doing chicken fried rice, which just requires time cutting the chicken into tiny pieces and marinating it (I typically use a mix of soy sauce, chili sauce, and a sweet sauce (sweet and sour, duck sauce, or just sugar).

When working with broccoli, I always like to boil/steam it separately. Sautee garlic in peanut oil (at least, that's what I prefer) until just brown, then throw in broccoli, sautee for about 2-3 minutes, then add about half an inch of water and cover. Let it boil/steam until the broccoli is a vivid green, then drain any remaining water and either eat the broccoli like that or toss it into already cooked meat and sauce for chicken or beef and broccoli.

Jam it back in, in the dark.