GFF Literary Workshop: Week 7

Thanks for the insight. I threw that WWII stuff in there because I wanted the narrator to seem realistic and meander about in his mind something kind of dumb. I wanted it to be out of place...I actually wrote it as the guy losing his train of thought, but maybe it didn't come out to read that way?

I tried to italicize everything that he was thinking to himself, even if the font doesn't necessarily show it. That's my bad actually: the font didn't switch well when I converted it from Office 2007 to 2003 so I could finish it on my own PC, and I was too lazy to change it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hmmm..
I didn't really have anything planned for that particular protagonist after that. Writing about the first date itself wouldn't be nearly as interesting as asking the girl out IMO. Unless I went ahead and skipped past that and had the guy recollect on how terrible it went, but that would sabotage the "good for him" feeling you might get when finishing this story.

And boy, I was really hoping for more comments.

There's nowhere I can't reach.