My [real] Angst [hueg liek xbox]

It sounds to me like you've got alot of shame about kind of losing control of yourself. You need to understand that the situation you were put in is not the kind of thing anyone should ever have to deal with, and that it is not unusual or wrong for you to feel the way you do.

Are there any adults you trust that you could talk to? It's hard for us to give you good advice since most of us are still teenagers ourselves, and we don't know all the ins and outs of your situation, but a trustworthy adult could maybe show you some options you haven't thought of yet. To me it sounds like you should probably get into some counseling, just to help you deal with all the feelings you have about everything that's happened and continues to happen. There may be a way for you to get help from the government to support yourself away from your parents, or someone you know might be willing to put you up.

There is always a way through tough times, you've just got to be strong enough to keep looking for it.

I'm sorry for everything you've gone through, that's a really shitty situation to be put it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.