Listen to me, dammit!

I'm not sitting the corner, shy and silent. I am honest to God trying to socialize with people. This time it's the people in my Introduction to PCs class*. And here I am running into the same problem I encounter every time I try to talk to people: nobody cares.

I know I'm not mumbling, and I know it's a breach of decor to try to shout over people, so I really have no idea what I'm doing wrong here. I try to converse with people, they keep right on talking over me. The rare moment I actually manage to get a word in edgewise, everyone stares at me like I'm Frankenstein's monster.

Damned if I can figure out what's going on here. Nobody seems the slightest bit interested in my opinions, my thoughts, or even my presence. It is not for lack of trying, or lack of assertion. Bizarrely enough I see the same problem even online, so is it just that I radiate creepiness vibes all around me?

* By all rights I should have been able to test out of this stupid class. Lab 3: Behold, the Celeron processor! Look what a big fan it has! Unfortunately, it's apparently really important that I know Intel created the first processor in 1971.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

Posted by shadowlink56
It's the horrible mystery that is adolescent mingling.

I'm twenty-four. ;_;

Yes, I'm trying to be funny. Nobody hears my jokes because they're too busy talking over me. I can't get them to pay attention to me in the first place.

Most amazing jew boots

Quote:

Posted by Seris
Even if you aren't being half as desperate as I'm probably making you sound, just, you know, be natural. Be yourself.

Good advice, but one problem. Natural, for me, is not getting involved at all. It may very well be that I'm coming across as slightly stilted, as it takes a conscious effort to attempt to socialize with people. I just don't instinctively socialize at all anymore, and prefer to keep to myself if it's people I don't know. They in turn don't pay the quiet guy any attention, and so the cycle goes. I have to make an active effort to make friends, but doing so is unnatural and wierds people out.

And unfortunately, I rarely find myself in any situations where showing girls my massive penis would be appropriate. It's all about context, you know.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Posted by Sassafrass
You're ought to chose passions that stray far from broadway musicals, fashion, and cosmetics slash personal hygiene.

Are you implying something? -_o

I'm not really sure how I could be more controversial. I'm damn near a troll when it comes to replying in some topics around here, but the reactions at Gamingforce mirror reality - nobody cares. I can't even seem to raise enough eyebrows to get people to call me an asshole. Frankly I begin to see why certain unnamed creepy people here act the way they do, not that I'd ever stoop to their level.

The other problem with being assertive, I can illustrate with last Monday's class. I had article I was presenting as part of our homework assignment, and was trying to get a point across, but the teacher stopped me in the middle to raise a counterpoint, and most of the class pretty much nodded in agreement, and that's where it stopped. Nobody cares what I have to say, and trying to be more assertive - or belligerent - just makes me look like a pesky whacko. Conservative approaches rarely work out, but sticking my neck out invariably ends more disastrously, because I'm seemingly the only person in the world with my combination of opinions.

It's entirely possible I'm just trying to send my messages to the wrong audience, but damned if it doesn't seem like a receptive audience is non-existent.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Quote:

Posted by Lady Miyomi
Are these people actually talking around you and stuff? If that were the case, try talking about the class itself or something just about everybody know would be interested in. It just might work.

Well, there's not much class-related to talk about. It's Introduction to PCs; our first four labs have been opening the computer and looking at what's inside. Most of the class already knows all this crap, so there's not much discussion involved, plus it would be a bit of a conversation hijack.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Quote:

Posted by eriol
Try to listen them first, I'm sure there are lot people want to be listened. Maybe you should to become a good listener? Some of my friends are liked by others because in fact, they are willingly listening to other people's trouble.

Oh, no worries there. I'm already a good listener. I'm kind of surprised how easily people will open up to me.

It is a wholly unfulfilling position. Nobody ever reciprocates - because obivously nobody cares about my issues. They brush me off like some tiresome whiner and switch the subject back to themselves or to some other topic they'd rather talk about.

I wonder if it's less a problem of me asserting myself, and more a problem of there being almost nobody in the world I'm compatible with. "Unique" is not always an asset, when you really are unlike anybody else you meet. You have to have at least a few common points to get along with someone beyond the level of casual acquaintence, and even among hardcore nerds I'm markedly different.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Quote:

Posted by Pez
First up, if they talking over the top of you? Clear the throat, look them in the eye, raise your voice and talk over them. If they don’t back down, shut up or continue to raise their voice and not let you say your piece, chances are they are genuinely rude shitheads who NEVER will. You don’t socialise with these people, you avoid them. If you’re not in a position to do so, you tolerate them as best you can. Remind yourself you are NOT one of these people, because you’ve been patiently waiting your turn to speak, and it is ok to release your frustration at inconsiderate individuals. Once they get the message, you probably won’t have to do it so often.

Listening is never an unfulfilling experience, especially when people divulge their secrets to you. If they’re not, and it’s just boring mundane crap that you couldn’t care about, change the subject, or better still, let them do the hard work for you and bring up something you’re more interested in. Then perhaps you can engage in a more meaningful two way conversation.

I'm frequently told that I overgeneralize too much, but this is why. You have described everybody I've ever tried to talk to. We're not even talking about me going out and unconsciously seeking the wrong kinds of people for friendship, this is just everyone I encounter. The people at work are friendly, but generally don't seem to care what I have to say. People at school? Too busy talking amongst themselves. People in chat rooms? Overlook my comments.

Every time I try to change the subject, they change it back. It feels like I operate under different rules from everyone else - like there's some sort of unspoken agreement that my interests and opinions carry less weight than everyone else. Unique is a liability here, because nobody is 'unique' like I am - and that translates into incompatible interests. It doesn't matter what I have to say if the other person just wants to keep rambling on about World of Warcraft or J-Pop.

I'm harping on this point a lot, but that's because I keep getting the same generic advice back. Hell, even you guys aren't taking what I'm saying at face value. I realize it's ludicrous to say so, but I really do feel at odds with practically every single person I've ever tried to converse with. I can count the exceptions on one hand. Regular people, nerds, academics, people at work, it doesn't matter, they all behave identically. It's not in my head, and it's supremely frustrating when everyone else seems to think so.

FELIPE NO