Asshole-ish and Stupid Customers at your job

Let me tell you about a problem Customer, to protect those not innocent, I'll call him "Enigma". I work tech support for what's basically a tank plant, most of our customers are engineers/CAD personnel running Unix/Linux. It's important to keep em up and running obviously, but this fucker was just an annoying bastard. He would constantly whine about his system being slow, or how slow his windows partition would run or how VMware (windows emulation software) was so slow. He'd do the rational thing and put in his tech support ticket... but one was never enough for this guy.. he'd put in like five or six in a row, spamming the tech support ticket system. We've done everything we could for this guy-- a new workstation, reloaded the OS, reloaded software, checked his network connection, the whole nine yards. I'm thinking the issue at this point is PEBKAC..

Jam it back in, in the dark.