Do you remember your first love?

It's just a natural thing to hate forceful change I think. You get so used to having someone/something in your life that it becomes difficult when they/it isn't there anymore. Most people, with time, get over it after they get used to it-- some people are dwellers though (like me) and it can take a long time to adjust to losing someone they considered important to them.

Not really proud of that, but I'm definitely always going to be that way. When I'm alone all I can do is think back on painful things, so I try and keep myself as busy as possible to avoid it. Video games and work help I guess. I imagine most people function that way anyway, but in my case it's pretty extreme, because it seems like no matter how much time goes on if I find myself doing nothing I start to dwell, and then I get drunk or do other retarded things I'd never do under normal circumstances.

Jam it back in, in the dark.