Girls, myself, and religion apparently can't mix

I had the same problem until I met the girl I'm with right now. I had gotten really tired of my girlfriends putting (G|g)od before our relationship, because they were always priority one to me. It was never what actually ended the relationship (one, we'll call her "L" to protect her privacy, went traveling; the other, we'll call her "S" though I could give a damn about her privacy, was a living, breathing collection of DSM-IV case studies) but it made things tense. I remember a moonlit walk at L's college, talking about how happy I was to be with my then-sweetheart, and the reply was "Me too. I think someone up there is watching out for us." Um, no, how about credit where credit's due? We did it ourselves, and I'd at least like credit for my part. S was far worse. I was under constant bombardment to convert, give up my sinful ways, come into the light, the relationship will never work unless I do, we can't have non-Catholic children, must have a church wedding, on and on and on. I tried my best to appease S, going to church functions and masses and god knows (hrhrhrhrhr) what else, but after a while I realized it wasn't going to be enough until I was a "member of the team." It got pretty disheartening, too, since I cared about them both a lot. I know L loved me back, though she was shy about saying it sometimes, but with S it felt like "Your love and affection are worthless if you don't love Jesus first."

For a couple years after that I was talking to a girl online who seemed far less religious (though still spiritual, but in a hippie/zen kind of way); alas, that never panned out.

Last summer I finally had had enough of the "game" and registered on eHarmony. One of my conditions there was that I did not want to be with someone who was religious. I would be willing to take someone who proclaimed themselves to be a follower of one religion or another, but I was sick and tired of having an invisible man in the sky put before me in a relationship that was supposed to be about togetherness and interpersonal affection. Shortly after registering I met my current girlfriend, and I couldn't have found a better one. Not religious in the least with a healthy dose of cynicism about religion in general, she's never once judged me on any basis other than how I conduct myself toward her. Matters that are my business stay my business, and matters that are hers stay hers. Talks of marriage always conclude with a decision to be married by a JP as churches give us both the creeps.

Anyway, where I was going with this is that it pays to find out about things like this very, very early on. I feel your pain--it's not easy being of a religious minority and trying to pursue relationships. With S, my being a Wiccan (at the time) was tantamount to me professing my allegiance to Satan, and L gave me the copout response "No matter what god you pray to, it's really all the same one." That one never sat well with me, but I didn't want to express how offensive I found it for fear of screwing up the relationship. Having since given up on religion altogether and found a science-nerd girl, my life has taken a significant turn for the better.

Jam it back in, in the dark.