[Classic] Manhogan Fantasy V: Because CHz really, really hates himself

We are so fucked.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Oh shit, a little late start due to some shit this week but IT'S MANHOGAN TIME.


ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS


Hmmm....too boring. Too...default. Can't go with that.


B...u...no, wait. CHz already took that.


Nah, it won't even fit right.


Hmm...

WAIT.

I GOT IT



YES





ALREADY PAYING DIVIDENDS



Shit is gonna get real SUPER QUICK so I gotta make sure I grab this straight off the hop.



Yup. Still awesome.



Time to leave my beloved friend here for approximately a year and a half, and not give a flying fuck about his feathered ass for quite a while. Shits given: 0. Fartz is such an asshole.



Pssssh. Behold the only chance I'll get for hours to hold a damn sword!



Horray a....stick. I'm sure this'll be...use...ful...

...

...

Dammit.



Welp, away we go! Bandana hobo force 5, forward unto the breach!



Crash, you asshole.



By the way Stella, I was mega fucking drunk when I named this kid. Why did you let me do that?



Air pollution, at this rate.



"Awwww, nothin'. NOTHIN AT ALL"



You never know how many secret liquid concoctions you'll have to swig down when all you've got for defense is a sweat stained bandana and two knuckle sandwiches.

I wonder what the local gossip is saying? In a town of....like twentyish people, they might be weirded out by the fact that a bunch of burly sailors showed up and sta...



Nope, I guess it's METEORITE SEASON. Good to know. Imma keep my eyes on the skies going forward, this shit comes around every year. Boulders the size of apartment buildings just rain down around here. No biggy. Whatever. I've got insurance, it'll cover it.



...



...

I WONDER WHY THAT IS



Oh.



WELP FUCK I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THAT DECISION



Every little bit helps, I guess?



...well, this isn't going to take 15 minutes or anything.



GO, ONE PERSON WITH EFFECTIVE WEAPON



HORRAY



I will make living quarters out of your carapace.



Or I can take a nap in a sinking boat, that works too.



Hey, this guy drops something of value. TOO BAD YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT.



Flee will be pretty useful when random encounters start shitting themselves, which isn't far out.



This money's just a little soggy. It's still good. It's still good.



Mindflusher rare spawn. Drops nothing of value and I think you steal a potion from it. Unfortunate!



I am, however, extremely fortunate from a later battle. This'll come in handy down the road somewhat.



Ok, time for CHZ pant shitting.



Oh no, we're doomed. SO FUC....



...KE...



...oh. That's right. I've played video games before and know how they work. Nevermind!



That was easy. (Last minute ultra crit in the testicles to drop Fartz though)



HORRAY. SO USEFUL...



So I ate through 15 or 16 potions in that battle. Shits given: 0.



Oh thank GOD. Finally something other than PUNCHING.



The one bonus out of all of this is that thief equipment is CHEAP AS FUCK. Probably because it's SHITTY AS FUCK but hey, what can you do. Small blessings.



Not sure why I'm doing this because I'll never get to use it but HEY WHATEVER



I...erm. Hmm. Good to...know. I think.



At least I get to live up to my job class and jack this dude's register float.



Of which precisely zero shits are given. Hey man, she's a bitch. I get it.



Hey, this isn't convenient knowledge or anything. Thanks kid. Grade 5 science class is useful for something. Now only if I could use shit like that!



Oh. Right.



Welp. FORWARD ONCE MORE.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

You don't know anything about god damn sprite filters more like.

what the actual fuck

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.