[Wii] Metroid: Other M - SHINESPARK IT

Everyone is focusing on the admittedly shitty characterization, and if even half of what's talked about regarding what they've done to the story is true, that part will seriously shit up much of the experience. But no one is talking about if it's following in the recent Metroid design philosophy of handholding and titty suckling, or if it's actually a return to form and a bit clever. I worry about that more than Samus shitting her pants at the sight of Ridley for some god forsaken reason.

I'm still going to be all over this like Mo0 dry-humping an elephant, so I'll report back.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Raptorfox

I have heard hearsay it's a bit like Fusion where you get cool shit but aren't allowed to go back and explore because GO HERE NEXT. If this is true I'm going to enjoy the shit out of you playing it. So much delicious rage.

If it comes to that, keep an eye out for stories about a Winnipeg man who drowned himself in his toilet, and cops found him pantsless with the TV on.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yeah, you're right. It does look like it was made in 1998.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You "play" MGS in about as much as you "play" 52 pickup.

This isn't anywhere near that level, but the cutscenes are god damn AWFUL and unskippable for some God forsaken reason. Apparently on subsequent playthroughs (provided you hate yourself enough to bother), you can ditch 'em, but the underlying game is probably the weakest Metroid out there. It's not so horrifyingly terrible that you're going to barf into your nice new shoes, but it's boring, the perspective switching eats my ass, it railroads you like no one's business and it seems to have taken a page from Shadow Complex and decided to treat the player like he or she had a single digit IQ.

I'm only 5 hours in so far, so I'm holding back the full extent of my =\ face until later but fffffffffffffff so far it's assey mcgee all over the place

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Has anyone else experienced the....erm....wonderful over the shoulder bits yet?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Not even, there is a sequence where you have to walk around a giant room at the pace of Marcus Fenix WHILE AIMING looking for something in specific to look at.

It is some dog fucking because it takes 83 years to walk from one end of the room to the other.

How ya doing, buddy?

Having beaten this just now, I've come to the conclusion that this is an alright Metal Gear Solid game.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Cyrus XIII

Along with all the obnoxious railroading, of course.

It truly is pigfuck disgusting.

But this brings up another point.

With the heavily scripted sequences, especially with the...erm...."upgrade procedure", along with the height limit on bomb jumping and limited shinespark mechanics, what sort of metagame is this going to have? Is sequence breaking even possible outside of maybe getting a few missile expansions early?

Jam it back in, in the dark.