One loves one's tea

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

Cons against tea:

1: Takes too damned long to prepare. You boil water, then dip the bag or strain through loose leaves, and wait forever for the flavor to appear. Coffee works the same way but the process has at least been streamlined for quicker consumption.

2: Requires milk and sugar to be worthwhile. Might as well be drinking coffee at that point.

3: Caffiene level is laughable. Seriously, if that's one of your considerations, just drink coffee.

4: Pretentious flavors: To be fair, some coffee flavors are pretty pretentious too but at least you only sound like a moderate jackass for drinking a hazelnut mochaccino, not like an ass-ramming ponce for carrying around a pumpkin chai. Tea drinkers like to drink tea and brag about it because it makes them think they're sophisticated when, in actuality, they're just too pussified to have a cup of coffee.

5: Lack of drive-thru availability. Go to Tim Horton's or Dunkin Donuts. Do you see tea on the drive-thru menu? Probably not, and if you do, it's one basic option like "green tea" so that the franchise can project its trendiness. Which proves that the sensible people are drinking coffee and getting shit done.

6: You look like a fucking moron having a cigarette over a cup of tea. Who the hell do you think you are, the Rajah?

7: The term teabagging. Do you really want to be one step removed from that association? Ain't no such thing as a coffeebagger, now is there?

Jam it back in, in the dark.