D&D Arena: Brutal Bastards, Beegraks and von Brandt

3 Dice Rolls *and the pain

Hi folks, Zerg asked me to run your friendly neighbourhood mimics today. Sup

Goop has a boring life, sometimes. Just sittin there. A lot. Not a whole fuckload to do down here 'cept look like a god damn box and wait for poor adventuring assho....HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT.

Box A is not quiet about his excitement when the lever is pulled. "WATCH OUT MOTHERFUCKERS IMMA GONNA GET YOU. BOXY BROWN TAKES NO PRISONERS."

Box the B is not as enthused. He was much more logical about all this. Also, he spoke with a french accent "Sirs, I am Chesty LaRue. Engarde~"

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Boxy Brown (the one on the left) Crushing Tendrils vs Cyrus.
Crit lmao.
24 damage.
Cyrus Grabbed. Takes -5 penalty to grab escape attempts.

Chesty LaRue (the one on the right) moves to AA8.
Surprise round and ooze form means can get there without drawing an AoO.

End surprise round

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Boxy's got gross goop fingers. Pushing, probing, feeling where they shouldn't. Cyrus is freaked out when one slides past his corn hole. What the fuck is going on.

Boxy Brown Sustain Standard, Crushing Tendrils.
15 more damage for some reason, holy christ. Grab sustained, same penalty applies. Acid typing if that means anything to you.

Chesty LaRue Slam vs Cyrus.
Hit.
12 damage.
Cyrus kinda sad now I guess?

But the French are tricky, don't you know. Oh yes.

Chesty LaRue Shapeshift back into chesty form.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls boop boop I'm a goop

Chesty's AoO actually doesn't happen, ignore that. Sorry Pang but it doesn't occur at all, rather than just misses.

Boxy continues his dirty molestation. How unfortunate! Sticky grossness where the sun don't shine.

Sustain Standard, 15 damage to Cyrus.

Chesty is not far behind.

Back to goop, ...stand...up? Slam vs Cyrus. Very miss!

The man who just vamoosed confuses BOXY BROWN OF INTERNET TOWN though, so lickety split he's BACK TO BOX MODE

Boxy is a floor tile now, and at AC9 because I didn't move him and Zerg made a tiny booboo

There's nowhere I can't reach.

5 Dice Rolls Recharge Maw

Chesty is all too enamoured with his little black ball friend. Shame about that temper of his though.

"Sacrebleu~. Mon ami, how dare you slap me~. OH HO HO"

Squeeze (Horray goop form, no AoO~) Chesty into AA-5

Crushing Tendrils on Pang. Miss. Shitcock!

Shaking off Bob's whackiness proved effective, but otherwise he's still a touch too knackered to molest Cyrus again.

Not so much from the other corner, though.

"BOXY BROWN IS TIRED OF HIDING. MAKE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS. YEEHAW TOBY KEITH."

Boxy back to hoop hoop being a goop.

Boxy goop squeeze to AA-6.

Ravening Maw on Cyrus! Hit!
19 damage. Slowed. (Save Ends)

Fail that recharge. LIKE A BOSS

Suddenly, the Frenchmanblob gets an idea. he's not going to sit about being useless. TRANSFORMMMMMMM

Transmogrify Chesty into a.... WALL. Shit yeah it's seperatin you two dudes time.

(Zerg did you count the successful grab and feel on Cyrus from the last attack round)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll big money, no whammies

SHIT

SORRY BUDDY MIGHT AS WELL GO OUT FIGHTING

Shift to AA5, Miss with Slam vs Cyrus, Transform back into wall shape.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls Recharge

BOXY MAD. ARGLEDEBARGLE SHIT BE GETTIN ALL REAL AND NOW IT AIN'T.

He resigns to his fate. Wasn't it true the black man always died in these situations? Perhaps he can get one more chomp in before calling it quits.

Bite vs Cyrus. Hit this time, at least
11 damage.

Having no better ideas, Boxy transforms into a sexy Venus de Milo statue.

Poof! Shimmy shimmy and shake shake. BAM.

DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

I was speaking idiomatically.

3 Dice Rolls Recharge again?

Is that scaly man TAUNTING Boxy Brown? Why it looks like it. BOXY BROWN TAKES OFFENSE TO SUCH THINGS.

BROTHER WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT

Wonderbox powers activate. Form of...GOOP.

Ravenous Maw vs Eddie Lizard over there.
Hit I think, don't know his defenses. If hit, 18 damage, slowed.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll Last, final slam

Boxy is touched by the speech. Taking a lot of it to heart, he finds himself unwilling to put much effort into his chomp time.

Slam vs Dragonborn. Miss

Disheartened, he transforms one last time.



FELIPE NO