[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

Feeling a touch on the woozy side Slim climb to his feet and and points straight up at the hole.

Well that's your problem right there.

His authority on the issue firmly established he walks over and unties the swordmage seeing as his super not drowning skills are no longer required.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll ill advised

His brain aching and potentially swollen with disease Slim stumbles towards the door and does the one thing that truly makes sense.

Quick everybody stand back this is gonna be awesome.


Attempt to run at the door and flip kick off of it hopefully setting off the traps and springing out of the way.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Looking down at his treacherous legs Slim swears that they will rue this day!

RUE IT DAMN YOU!

Burn any surges I may have left and stumble drunkenly over to see what Sam is up to. I have 11 now after my Constitution bump from leveling right? I no longer trust the character builder.

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll holy rollin

Slim eyeballs the mace suspiciously and thinks back on his religious training. Surely a sentient weapon designed to slay the undead must have caused something of a stir amongst the paladin and cleric community.

Not having eyes and all I don't suppose you've seen anything relevant to getting us through this door have you?

Religion check on mace.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls nacho's bitch!

A delicious and familiar smell floated towards Slim just as the pile of bones started yelling.

Man I haven't had zombie nacho's in ages! Lets make this quick so we can hit the concession stand.

Run and use shifty to AD-90 ranged basic against Skeletal Legionnaire at AI-87

Intimidate a skeleton if ones in range

Hey you! Fetch me some nacho's and I won't set you on fire! THIS IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER ACT NOW!

FELIPE NO

2 Dice Rolls *smash

NO DAMMIT! I said nacho's not kebabs! There isn't even any meat or vegetables on these skewers I will be writing a strongly worded letter to management.

In his head Slim makes a note to give this restaurant half a star in his next review for the Kobald Cuisine Quarterly.



Shield of sacrifice taking a surge from beefi and healing Sam and myself as if we'd burned a surge +5 AC for everyone involved until the end of my next turn. Hammer throw at blueC.

12 damage to skeleton +4 temp HP to me

Most amazing jew boots

2 Dice Rolls angry face part deux

Slim walks up to the magus and begins wildly gesticulating while screaming in the style of his peoples greatest Orators.

Look AT me HOAKE HOGAN!
This IS Seven SYLLABLES!
YEAH beefcake BEEFCAKE!

SKRONK!

intimidating poem yes?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

After a vigorous bout of pelvic thrusting at the various piles of defeated bones Slim finally stops to remove the javelins from his torso.
Finding himself woozy from various ailments and blood loss he collapses face first into a pile of femurs.

I'mma lay down now.

extended rest

Most amazing jew boots

Slim climbs to his feet rubbing the sleep from his eyes and a tibia from his forehead.

I feel great! Now to see about them nachos THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!

grab the potions and take fifty gold splitting the rest amongst the party.

wander over to cheese door.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 Die Roll lookin

At last the molten cheesy goodness is mine!

Walk over to cauldron and give the contents a taste test. Attempt to be perceptive while I'm at it.

How ya doing, buddy?

Having at last taken care of his cravings it was time for Slim to get down to business. First things first though we seemed to be missing someone.

Go back and grab the scrolls ,Also grab GFZ by the feet and drag him to the cheese room.

Quick he seems to be having one of his spells again! Somebody do something!

Begin waving him vigorously at the various implements trying to shake an arcana check out of him.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Since knowledge is failing to shake out of the swordmages head in a timely manner Slim starts getting bored. Dropping GFZ face first on the ground he goes and checks out the Eviscerated fella.

I think this mage is defective I say we check his warranty next time we hit town.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Happy to see the cowman getting into the spirit of things Slim helps out by throwing one of his pints of oil into the fire.

Can't have too much of a good thing can we my delicious friend?

FELIPE NO

On the off chance that the tunnel is yet another dead end trap Slim checks to see how securely the drain grate is attached.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Satisfied that he could reach a resupply of fish at any moment Slim catches up to the group and looks around the northern corner.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Slim hearing his cue walks up next to Beefi.

Food for a monstrous dragon eh? Don't mind if I do.


Pint of oil molotov upside the "elf's" head


What?! I prefer mine well done.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll holy roll

Truly! I've also heard that witches sink when tied to heavy rocks.

Having been put into a thoroughly scholarly mood by his little chat with the mace Slim racks his brain for the religious significance of the misty sacrifice room.

For future reference if I were to want to give you a high five where would be the appropriate place to do that? You know what with your lack of hands and all.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

3 Dice Rolls incidental

After the cock tease that was the poetry contest at last Uxig would have a proper battle. As luck would have it he was the three time Geonide bowling champion of his village as well.

walk up to geode dead ahead and use brutal slam. 21 damage to enemy also he's knocked back 2 and prone. 12 damage to an enemy adjacent to where he landed I think.

You on my left! You got luck this time. I'll be picking up that spare next round.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls *damage

With Garold having used his marvelous trained buffalo to clear the path it's time for Slim to reinforce the wounded cow.

I'm coming beefstick!

shift south one using shifty then move to g-30

charge dracolich using howling strike

burn action point and use Rune of Endless Fire

11 fire and radiant damage to dracolich I do radiant and fire damage for all attacks the remainder of the encounter.

Having missed twice Slim looks awkwardly over to Beefi and shrugs.

Let us never speak of this again.

How ya doing, buddy?

3 Dice Rolls save

I have right here a Necro Dracolichtm! It slices and dices! It tenderizes meat with horrific necrotic acids! And the best part? You can just SET IT AND FORGET IT!

Fleeing for our lives is a one time offer only available within the next 10 minutes!

charge at geonid E using howling strike. 24 damage to geonid.

And you sir in the audience! How about a testimonial?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

4 Dice Rolls *damage

Less than pleased by his dog breath scented wake up call Slim climbs Groggily to his feet. Seeing the swordmage actually doing something not pole related for once he gives out a bit of encouragement.

Spend surge then stand up and use inspiring word on GFZ.

Hey keep up the good work on that not being a cunt thing you're trying out!

That taken care of he turns his attention to the dracolich.

Dragon breath eh? Two can play that game.


flames of purity straight north catching geonid E and C. 21 damage to both and +7 hp to GFZ

35 total healing to GFZ

FELIPE NO

1 Die Roll bonus health

THAT DRAGON IS DYNAMITE!

Shield of sacrifice draining one surge from myself and allowing both Beefi and GFZ to gain a surge +4 worth of healing. +5 AC to the three of us.

Rune of Healing to self +2 damage bonus to everyone but Sam and +25hp to me.

1......2........5!!

Throw the lit fuel tank at the dragon. Is it a holy bomb now thanks to my rune of endless fire?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls *oh my god I actual hit it

Thinking that at this point one of the many liquids leaking out of his body might be his brains Slim quickly chugs one of the more helpful looking potions he picked up earlier.

move t E-33

drink psychic resistance potion

His brain now properly coagulated it was time to get down to business.


I WOBBLE BUT I DON"T FALL DOWN BITCH!


WEEBLE RAGE! on dracolich 11 damage plus 10 because of weakness to radiant.
5 ongoing fire damage to dragon and I regen 3

Jam it back in, in the dark.