[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

Somebody give me their rope I'm going in.

If nobody hands it over then I jack the rope from the closest persons pack and crawl down the rabbit hole.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Slim quickly backtracks to report his find.

There's an enormous room that smells like old ladies and molestation. I'd wager that's a sign of being closer to a lich if ever there was one.

That out of the way he goes down the same tunnel as the halfling to see what's taking so long. Seeing the large chests he does the only logical thing and starts whacking the wooden one with his 10 feet pole from a safe distance.

Should that illicit no response then he throws his hammer at it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

So do you have to pay rent to for that chest or is free housing a package with what they pay you to guard this place? If you and the elves up top are any indication this seems like a pretty sweet gig.

I'd love it if you'd put in a good word for me with whoever runs this place after they put you back together.


I'm holding off on acting until I see what the skeleton does.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

6 Dice Rolls fire6

If this fellow isn't willing to talk shop then we'll see how he likes snake barbecue.


move to BM-3

Flames of purity southward since I can't make out the minion tags I'm just starting at the top left and working clockwise. I miss fucking everything.

Shield of sacrifice using myself to draw the healing surge from. Sam gets a surges worth of healing +3 from flames of purity and we both get a +5 power bonus to AC

It appears he likes it just fine. Slim Looks Sam in the eyes and offers the only words of encouragement that come to mind.

RUN BITCH!

I was speaking idiomatically.

2 Dice Rolls rune

Normally Slim did not know fear but the poison was having odd effects and all these snakes reminded him of tiny limbless hims.

Shift to BL -4

rune of mending on Sam giving him a urge +1 hp and +1 to all defenses til the end of my next turn for both of us

Haul ass haul ass down the tunnel.

NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T HAVE ME TINY ME'S. I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU WITH YOUR PLANS TO LIVE IN MY HEAD MEAT AND HIGHJACK MY BODY!

Then he starts quivering and muttering under his breath about size envy and his magnificent thighs that all covet.

Down in the tunnel he yells at the Genasi

They're freakin me out man!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Slim suddenly wakes up slumped against the north wall. Oh good it was all just dream! Then he looks up and sees the skeleton and more importantly the chest are still there.

AAAAAAAAHHHHH the nightmare has become reality!

burn my second wind getting back 15 hp then shift one west using shifty and run as far as I can down the tunnel.

FELIPE NO

I step to the inner edge of the tunnel then take five burning two surges to get back to full While I wait for the party to gather.

Lets try that again shall we?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll smash?

Slim temporarily moves away from the skeleton to regain his bearings and think of a plan. Then the advice of his mentor "Smidge O Bittercap flashed into his mind.

LET ME THROW A HAMMER AT IT!

move to BK1

Hammer throw at skeleton 10+11 vs AC= one shy

You pagan troglodyte!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Dice Roll *bonus healing

Slim rushed towards his foes only to find pot roast and unpleasantly squishy man blocking his path. The watery fellow wasn't looking so he good so he lent a helping hand in hopes of getting him to step the hell out of the way.


move to Bo0


Use Rune of Mending and Inspiring Word on Gra-fa-zut He spends two surges +8 and everyone within 5 squares gains +1 to all defenses. (I think that's everyone but maybe Garold)



Most amazing jew boots

4 Dice Rolls *crush and burn not retarded ed

With everyone finally out of his way and no more undead hugs seeming to be forthcoming it was time for Slime to kick it into high gear. If the furry fellows hurricane bats were proving so effective then why not further make them flaming phoenix hurricane bats?

As the strike connects it covers both the skeleton and slim in in shining silver fire.

OOOOOOHHH TINGLY!

Feeling suitably manly after effectively doing damage for the first time in this fight Slim finishes off by pointing at his eyes then at the remaining mummies eyes and then giving it a severe thumbs down.

Shift to BN0

Use Silver Phoenix Rage 17+8=25 damage plus 5 ongoing save ends Also I regen 3 for the rest of the fight. I put the wrong number of dice in first damage roll. Also regen applies at the end of each turn correct?

Try to intimidate Mummy into gouging it's own eyes out 18+14=32 to intimidate. My sheet's missing a couple of modifiers on that should I go ahead and fix it?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

2 Dice Rolls remove burning sensation?

Slim is suddenly startled to find that not only is he wreathed in no less than two types of fire but good fire + bad fire does not cancel itself out. His world now nothing but burning and disappointment he flails girlishly at the hateful box letting out a earsplitting scream.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK

Activate Stonebreaker for double damage vs objects

Move to BO1 Use Great shout on trap 12+8X2 for stonebreaker 40 Damage +6 or not depending on if a trap counts as an enemy to trap and -2 to hit for the skeleton

burn for -5 regen 3 hp net loss -2 hp saved successfully against further burning

Most amazing jew boots

Slim promptly flops face first onto the ground and takes a five minute nap.

short rest Burn 3 surges

Properly recovered he then proceeds to wipe the drool from his face and check the area for loot and attempt to detach the flamethrower to make it portable. If that's not possible I at least try to take it's fuel tanks.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Upon further examination the machine was too uncontrollable to be worth the effort. Never one to leave behind something flammable Slim pockets the two fuel tanks and pries the cannon like nozzle bit off for later tinkering. Thinking to himself that Aquatic creatures are troublingly nonflammable he also grabs the waterbane scimitar.

Suddenly an idea for how he could make produce even more burnination strikes him! Slim wraps the head of his hammer in several layers of mummy cloth and then pours one his bottles of oil over it being careful to keep the handle dry. Then he affixes the chunk of flint from the trap to the striking side of his hammer. He also stuffs a long bit of bandage in each fuel tank with a bit hanging out.

Thoroughly loaded down with loot for this first time since this whole maneuver started and buoyed by the thought that there might be more things to smash in the next room he hops and skips after the minotaur whistling a jaunty tune.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Now aware that there was a barbecue happening quite near Slim wanders towards the smell hoping to throw some piranha's on the grill and make it surf and turf night.

MMMM smells like steaks on the menu!

He was starting to not like the skulls attitude much though and attempts to remove it's lower jaw to wear like a toothy tiara.

Keep up that backtalk and you won't get a fish.

FELIPE NO

HMMMM clearly someone left this one on the grill far too long. But that's okay cooking with magical archways can be tricky. Time to give it a try of my own.

MEDIUM RARE!!!!

With his order placed Slim chunks a fish into the orange foggy archway.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Slim feels a sudden kinship with the tiny fishbarian. No longer having the heart to eat the only thing to do is lay it to rest proper. Scooping up the fish Slim goes to the altar and uses his long stick to gently scoot both the valuable items and the skull off of it and moves them a safe distance away.

You all may want to move away from the table now.

After giving everyone a minute to clear away if they so choose he lays the battle axe across the fishes belly and gently folds both fins over it in a restful pose. Having made sure that it may rest in as dignified a way as possible he throws it onto the altar from a good 15 feet away.

May aquatic Valhalla treat you well tiny delicious warrior.

Most amazing jew boots

Having given his fishbrother a suitable moment of silence Slim hoists one of the fuel tanks over his head and runs screaming after his companions. Upon coming to the pit he ratchets the screaming up a pitch, lights the fuse and chunks it into the center of the rats. After a moment of panting and catching his breath he speaks.


So uh what's going on here?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll lookin

Suddenly struck by how delicious aerosol wererat salad is Slim clambers down the rope to get a second helping.

Anyone want me to bring them up a bowl?

Search the bottom while doing a lazy backstroke through the puddle of gore.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

2 Dice Rolls and again

Slim bored of all this standing around looking into holes and not causing any form of destruction proceeds to take running leaps over both pits in his way and peeks around the corner.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

1 Die Roll sexy

In an attempt to help with the deception Slim seductively wraps himself around the swordmages leg.


attempt to aid bluff check.

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll rarr

As his world starts to tilt Slim see's that the room is in fact full of lava not orcs. This makes him very angry indeed.

YOU! You're supposed to be orcs not lava! Change back this instant so that I can smash you with my hammer!

He then begins attempting to climb to safety while muttering under his breath about how hammering lava never works.


attempt to intimidate the lava as I crawl for safety. Son of a bitch

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll don't be a dick dice

Damn that's some brave lava!

Time to haul ass! um specifically my own.

athletics to climb away

FELIPE NO

1 Die Roll eh

While in no position to help prevent his companion from becoming succulently flame broiled Slim does attempt to make the climb easier for him when he reaches the hallway.

Activate stonebreaker ability and attempt to smash handholds into the floor as I climb. Also if I can use my shifty ability to increase my effective move speed for halving purposes I will be doing that from here on out.

Athletics roll I guess?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

After brushing himself off and and finding to his great disappointment that there are in fact no additional scorch marks on his person Slim decides to thank the swordmage with a nice refreshing dip.

Going over to where his ally is still sprawled on the floor he pulls out the ten foot pole he somehow keeps in his pack and lashes him to it with his head pointed toward the far end.

If there are any delicious look fish I want to go next!

Dip him as far as I can into the water pit and then bring him back up to ask what he saw after about 5 minutes or so.

Most amazing jew boots

1 Die Roll break on through

Upon striking an obstruction with the pole (and face of his ally) Slim knows exactly what to do.

Looks like there's a hairball blockage!

He immediately begins smashing the end of the pole up and down into the clog in hopes of busting through. The thumps it makes are somewhat meatier than expected and he feels like he's forgetting about something.

There's nowhere I can't reach.