[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA GET OFF OF ME YOU BRUTE

beats at the large man before escaping towards the north

How ya doing, buddy?

I look around wildly for the golem's summoner. Dwarves have no use for golems, being their smarter and more hirsuite cousins. Shouldn't do anything rash, they wouldn't cotton to me abusing their kin. The gaudy woman is probably controlling him.

"What's the big idea waking a body like that? It's rude, it is! I never thought I'd see the day... Don't they teach you nothin' about decency in the city?"

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, I'll be. A golem that talks. You don't see that too often! And he got some sense, too.

"Are you the help those people said they'd send? Took you damn long enough! I knew you couldn't trust a kobold to be prompt. Right nice folk, but they left their beards go so long it grew all over their faces!"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"CHILD? I've been deliverin' children since you were kneehigh to a grasshopper, maybe."

I push the uppity woman away and follow behind the golem. He may be rude, and unable to count, but at least he knows his job. I'll be careful to wake up early while around these folks, don't want to be woken up like that again.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Moves two squares east, once north
Perform Righteous Brand on the first enemy that comes in range

I was speaking idiomatically.

equip sling
fire at wight

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Moves two east, one south
Fires at Zombie A

FELIPE NO

Turn those fuckers Undead

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Wrathful Thunder at Wight
Moves 3 squares west

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Righteous Brand at zombie D with str bonus to Gabriel

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"Now ain't no time to be takin' a nap! Get up, there's still doin's transpirin'!"

Righteous Brand at Zombie D with bonus to (now in-range) Gabriel
Shift two square south, 'cause shifting is the new walking
Healing Word on Motsognir

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's the zombie that would not end. yes, he goes on and on, my friends.

Righteous Brand on Zombie D again, with bonus to Argumentus this time if he's going to keep attacking two guys at once
Healing Surge

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'll take a look around the SW room, for neat shit or secret doors or what have you.

Also healing back to full health. Forgot to mention that part.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I get out of the way while the garish city-woman commences with scrabbling at the door I found. If she wants to do my work for me, that puts my mind at rest. I'll just look around for loose debris or rocks I can use with my sling.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hot damn, looks like these folks are fiendin' for feudin'. Sure is catchy, too. Ain't nothin' like surprise attacks to excite these tired old bones.

Run towards Ork, standing on the square east of him
Hot-blooded attack! Avenging Flame!
ACTION POINT
Priest's Shield attack on Ork, defense to me and Argumentus

FELIPE NO

Walks over the body of the fallen hero, south of Argumentus
Righteous Brand on Orc Grunt, bonus to Argumentus

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Don't send no fancy city-woman to do a job, she'll never get it done and she'll complain about her nails the entire time.

Persue the northern fleeing orcs, standing between them
Righteous Brand on the southern orc, bonus on Motsognir if he's in range

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by a lurker

Don't send no fancy city-woman to do a job, she'll never get it done and she'll complain about her nails the entire time.

Guess I wasn't kidding about that!

Stands south of Gabriel
Righteous Brand on wolf, bonus to Mots if this is The Wolf That Shall Not Die
Does all the work for this party
I slave and I slave and what do I get in return?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'll examine the northern corridor for hidden rooms or treasure or you know another Orc leader.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I reckon it's best if I go see what's transpirin' down south. Seems I'm more valuable at killin' than at savin', what with havin' no healing spells and all.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

stands west of Argumentus

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So, I'm a little forgetful in my age. I've forgotten more in the last week than the rest of these whipper-snappers ever knew!

That's not a good thing.

Slingshottan the goblin south of me, duck behind the pillar

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

God damn that lazy dwarf! Taking naps, hanging back and picking his nose while good Christian ladies do the dirty work for him! Why, he can't even kill a dog without help!

"Your axe is going in your head if you don't get out and do your chores!"

Healing Four Letter Words at Motsognir
Goes one square West
Sling at South Goblin
Goes back behind the pillar if I can split up moving like that

FELIPE NO

Stands NE of Gabriel
Priest's Shield on the skullcleaver to the east, bonus to self and Gabriel


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Oh they took my sight... this is the big one... I'm coming for you in Heaven, Zebediah....

Moves to west of Gabriel
Healing Surge
save vs blindness

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