Friend advice

I have a friend, and I think her boyfriend is a mong. I tried telling her but they basically just started going out, so of course she didn't listen to me. I was hoping it'd be a quick thing but it isn't, they seem really serious. What should I tell her? Should I tell her anything?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I imagine she'll find out soon enough, regardless of what you say. Unless she sees something in the guy that is totally awesome and she's willing to overlook the mong bit for that awesome part.

I don't know, it just smacks of youth and willful ignorance. The first serious, like, serious relationship, you know? I mean I'm happy that she has someone but he's going to be an anchor on her, and I just can't stand to see someone like her get dragged down. I've seen shit like that happen before and although I wouldn't say it ruined any lives, it made them harder, certainly.

Plus, having him around makes her a complete drain. It seems like the only thing she can talk of is him, like she reidentified her entire self as being in terms of this guy.

edit: and no, god, it's not me you assholes. I don't need to ask advice for how to fuck up my own life, but I do need advice on how to keep a near and dear friend from fucking up hers when it barely started.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I don't mind it when you guys make fun of me in threads where I'm whining, or in threads where I'm trying to stir up conversation, or even in threads where I just posted once with facts that weren't backed up by months of research and a bibliography, but seriously? I need help and I don't know where else to turn. I figure this place is a good spot since a lot of people here have been in my place before, or in my friend's place and can help me relate to that sort of feeling.

She's a very close friend to me, and although she's normally well balanced and level-headed, she went off on the deep end this time and I can't let that happen without a fight. You know how I am, I can barely stand hearing someone whining about their parents without giving my two cents. Saying nothing is simply out of the question.

Please, tone it the fuck down.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I was hoping there was something else I could do. I feel a real kinship for her, almost like she's my own flesh and blood.. I don't want her to have to learn a lesson that so many other people demonstrated before her.

I guess there's not a lot I can do though. I can't believe it myself, but she went out and got married recently. It was basically like eloping. I can't believe she thought this out thoroughly, and I mean I thought about waiting a little while to see what happens and if it'll fall apart on its own, but I look at like needblood and shit and that's just not an acceptable answer.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Lurker, I don't mean to press. But you seem rather interested in this relationship. I mean, usually you're pretty removed from this sort of thing. Why the extreme interest here?

She's a person that I deeply respect and admire. I can honestly say that I never met anyone like her before, and I don't want to lose her so quickly. But her boyfriend is one of those people that just grate on me, not in the least because he's a major-league loser who still lives with his parents (even though he's married).

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Temari

Wait, she got MARRIED to him?

Either way, I had a very similar situation with my very best friend a little while back (and I actually posted here asking about it too). Known this girl since 3rd grade, been best friends and considered each other sisters since 6th... once college came around, she pulls an entire 180 on me. After a long series of cheating on her boyfriend, breaking up with him to date the guy she cheated with, that guy leaving her, fuck buddies and one night stands, she settled down with a guy who looks exactly like the boyfriend she fucked it up with (and the guy she cheated with). He's 10 years older than her, an absolute loser, and I quickly found out that there was only one thing I could do about it.

Absolutely nothing. It's heartbreaking, of course. But there will come a point where you finally think 'fuck this' and let it be. If she notices you pulling away, perhaps something will click (and if it does, you'll be luckier in your friendship than I have).

I suppose that would be the best for my own mentality, since watching her throw her future away is just too much. Why don't people listen to the voice of experience? I mean, sure he's different than the assholes I've dealt with in the past, or assholes that you've dealt with, but that doesn't mean the law of averages won't bear out.

Anyway Temari I'm sorry to hear that about your friend. What sort of relationship were you able to retain? I won't say that I've known my friend for very long, only a few years, but still she's as dear to me as any. I'm just not prepared to walk away from her after such a short time together.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Temari

We'll put it this way... she gave up a trip to Ireland with me, all-expenses paid by her parents, because she no longer wants to do anything that doesn't involve her boyfriend. It's rather sickening, actually. I think that was one of the big things that just told me to say 'fuck this'.

Actually I did something sort of similar back in the day. My nominal boyfriend lives in England, so the only way I could see him was when one of us had enough time free to make a trip worthwhile. Which meant that my summer vacations in college were spent either going to his place or preparing for school the next year. No job or internships.

Actually I felt like a huge putz and knew I was screwing up a good opportunity, but it was what it was. Honestly I don't know why people don't listen to others' experience, even when they should know better. Okay, a lot of friends will advise you to do stupid shit but I've turned down advice over what my better nature was telling me was something I should listen to. Maybe it's just easier to keep on keeping on instead of assessing your situation.

Additional Spam:
Talking it over with some other people, maybe the best way is to stage an intervention. If a lot of people tell her that she's making a huge mistake, maybe she won't annul her marriage right away but she'll start thinking that there's something to it. I mean it makes a kind of sense; she and I haven't really been on good terms in a long time so she wouldn't listen to me alone anyway.

Luckily she posts at Gamingforce, so you can send her a private message if you want. Please, do it for me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

No, it was an april fools day joke that fell flat on its face because no one posts on april fools day.

FELIPE NO