[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

I cackle madly. The gothic dwarf and the golem make a huge commotion behind the wall quickly demolished by the weakling dwarf. Guess he's not as soft as he looks! Wonder how he keeps nearly dying? I rally the troops.

"By my reckoning, that dragon's about to expire. Don't hold back, fancy city lady!"

Take final free spot before dragon
Avenging Flame
Healing Cackle Word to Argumentus, since he's in more danger than Bob is

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wrathful Thunder
Bring the pain

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Okay boys, who wants roast dragon?"

Busies herself with looking for cooking utensils, a fire, and a good stout knife to start carving up the feast

I was speaking idiomatically.

Don't look like we'll be having any acid dragon for dinner. The man-golem didn't mind any, and he gave me a right nice brooch he carved out of the beast. He seems like a good chap.

I examine the rest of the rooms, looking for anything hidden in the walls, before taking the rest of the gold found in the basement.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Something was tugging at me. I couldn't stop thinking of poor Ulvig, who I portrayed in order to get the party close to the maguffin. He had a right nice little place here, dragon aside - and it ain't like folks can help who they're kin to.

After a short rest up to full health, I decide to find Ulvig's body and give it a fitting funeral, as best I can in this place.

Attempt to identify which of the beds belongs to Ulvig, and then search for his body, dragging it into his bed (or any random bed if I can't figure out whose belongs to who).

FELIPE NO

After sending a soul to my much totally better God, I follow the team.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

After reading the scroll, I got increasingly irritated. "Why ain't you tell us this before we left? We coulda shoved dem candies in 'is stomach and that'd be the end of it! Not't mention makin' us walk all the way back 'ere jes't make us walk all the way back! Y'think this is funny?! That golem ain' have nothin' to eat all day, nothin' proper anyway, and that fancy city lady ain't got no fit shoes fer this work! Jes look at that limp! A'course, I ken take it, but then again it ain't me who's fit to feudin'."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"Hah! A kobold doing his fair share of the work, that'll be the day!"

I give the chief a resounding kick in the rear end and storm off, eager to get on with it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Insult the kobold some more
Declare that his mother was overweight to a large degree
Inform the party that his wife is a woman of ill repute
Suggest that he is not the progeny of his father; rather, that of the milk-bold

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

feels guilty
rips off a part of Bob's new robe, hands it to the kobold

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I ain't like the kobolds all that much, but I ain't wanted to see 'em dead, either. I'll have to keep my eye on that golem, he might try'n feed me some of them explosive sweets.

I follow the rest of the party outside. Sure is nice to see civilization again. I can't wait to get some proper supplies, crawdads and goat spleens and moose hooves and all. Mebbe I'll fix up a heap'a my rheumatiz lixer, that'll simmer down whatever got that fragile dwarf all riled up!

I was speaking idiomatically.

The skulled dwarf had a mighty fine suggestion, though what anyone would want to worship a pile of firewood I can't guess.

"I aim to pay my respects proper, as well. Where is the house of Melora?"

Most amazing jew boots

I trade my sickle up for a scythe, and a nice crossbow and 40x bolts for my sling and remaining stones.

The city lady seems to be as dumb as a brick, but back home I spent a heap'a time taking care of them idiot children, so I made rudimentary hand gestures to show that I too wanted to shop for some reagents. I also aim to make it to Melora's today, with a detour to get an adequate offering.

What offering would be appropriate for a back-woods doctor to give to the Goddess of the sea, I bet you're askin'?



FELIPE NO

The shopkeeper was polite enough not to laugh at me when he showed me the scythe. It's.. well, the scythes back home are short enough to use, that's all I say.

I change my order to a mace instead, and also sold my chainmail since I'm getting a better set from the skull-dwarf that worships firewood. It's right nice of him, for a man damned to Hell an' all.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Feeling it's better safe than sorry, I pick up an additional waterskin, two flasks, six rations and enough reagents to brew a potion.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It was good to get a proper rest after all that adventurin'. Though I've spent four childbearin' years sleepin' on a stone floor what because Ezekiel lost his job at the wagon-manufacturin' company, I won't deny it's good for the old joints to spend a night or two on feather and straw.

I've learned much about my companions over the rest. You wouldn't guess it, but the skull-dwarf don't eat meat. Fancy that! I don't know how he keeps fit without any proper vittles, but I'll have't pick up some beans or somethin' when we visit a greengrocer. And the city-lady, bless her heart, can't even read the things she writes down. She is the most dire case of mongoloid I've ever seen. I'll have to fix an elixir of mint, whorehound, crushed gnat and buzzard blood before she forgets who we are and starts attacking us. Even still, I don't think she'll ever be normal.

I also finally had dwarven ale. This vaunted concoction may soothe some sore throats back home, but it ain't gonna fuel any shindigs! All the same it's all I have on hand, so I buy enough to fill my flasks so that I have a suitable sacrifice for Melora for my next visit (and an extra for my rheumatiz).

Reading the board, I see some good jobs. I aim to be puttin' the body of Kai Rifter to rest proper, and to expunge the evil from the cemetery what be haunted. If the idiot city-lady wants to clear out some squatters from some homes, I reckon that'll be fast work and we can do that on the way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"Now look here, we're gonna have't agree on somethin'. I heard the most votes for the idiot city-lady's idea on retrievin' that sword for the Lord. Now all of you who want to do that first, before we clean out that graveyard, raise yer hand."

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.