GFF Literary Workshop: Week 8

(I was going to review week 7 but the file was taken down, so onto Week 8!)

Going into this, I was not quite sure of the setting, but after a bit I was a little disappointed as I almost felt like I was in another world with archeology, especially with the slightly fantasy-inspired names. The setup for the... dream, alternate reality, whatever it actually is wasn't too bad either.

There were a few places where I think you tried to make the sentence sound more mature with overly complicated words, but maybe that's just a personal annoyance of mine.

No real complaints, and the imagery you gave in Adrian's dream was definitely not devoid of color and enthrallment of the senses.

I think you did go on a bit too much about the Mask, as it seemed to take up the entire focus of the banter / dialogue between Adrian and Eugene. Also, at the beginning you (several times) mention the mask as being an exquisite work of art, something of beuty but then seem to betray this for a more sinister feeling of dread "Ghastly" as it was described later on before the dream-sequence.

Dialogue felt a bit weak in comparison to the descriptions, of which you had no problem with, so that's all I can really suggest for improvement. Yeah, I'm not the greatest critic, hehe. Overall though, I enjoyed this and want to read more of it next time.

Jam it back in, in the dark.