HEY ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD

I like to think of myself as a very safe and conscientious driver, so naturally everyone on the road angers me. The worst is when some old fart is going nearly twenty miles per hour under the speed limit, holding up a huge line of traffic behind them. There's just got to be something psychological behind that. It's probably the same phenomenon that causes people to unload their shopping carts more slowly when they know somebody is waiting for their spot.

The next worst thing is when a driver puts on their blinker to get into a turn lane, but doesn't actually get in to the lane until the VERY LAST SECOND before their turn, forcing everyone behind them to decelerate with them.

I'm also severely peeved by people who, after failing to signal that they are taking a right turn, peel out and turn into the far lane, while others are trying to turn left. People turning right need to turn into the right lane so that people turning left can turn into the left lane. When the right-turning people start speeding up and jostling for position, it just slows down traffic for everyone.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

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Oh, and when you are sitting at a red light and people keep moving forward and braking, moving and braking, moving and braking, like that is going to make the light turn green any faster and the stupid people behind those fucktards do the same thing...erg!

A related occurrence is when people are so wired up and eager to go that they accidentally slam down the accelerator only to brake hard immediately when the left turn arrow comes on, because they saw the green color out of the corner of their eye and thought it was their turn to go, only to find that their light is still red. Then they begin moving forward and braking...

There's nowhere I can't reach.