Please teach me how to cook asian food!

You can cook rice in a normal pot, that's what the instructions on most bags of rice are written for. Just be sure to pay attention to where it says turn the heat down to LOW otherwise you'll burn the rice for sure. It's not a bad idea to check the rice a few minutes before it's done in case you cooked it a little faster than they expected, too.

And if you do burn the rice, you can still salvage whatever's floating on top. Just be sure when you're spooning it out you are really gentle towards the sides and bottom and you'll only lose about half an inch worth of rice on the bottom.

Also, anyone have a good recipe for lo mein? I don't even know what kind of noodles to use for that, and the Chinese places around here tend to be a little unreliable with their quality, so I'd like to know how to make my own?

Also, what cut of pork do you guys use when making doing a stir fry? I figure the loin would be best since there's not a whole lot of trimming, but I don't know if there's a cheaper one available that'll do just as well.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Most of the people that own rice cookers are people that cook it practically every night. For us whities that will only cook rice once a week at most it's not that useful of a tool, but for pretty much everyone else in the world it's not a terrible investment.

(Also, saw a $300 rice cooker at the asian market that I wanted to buy because it cooked normal rice in less than 5 minutes and had all these crazy presettings I had no idea how to read.)

There's nowhere I can't reach.