Nobody could ever love the real me

It maybe hard to believe but i have almost those same qualities in RL. I mean, besides not caring about my family, it is not so much i don't care, it is just that to me, they are people, all people in my eyes are people, nothing special, nothing lower. So if one died, i wouldn't even stop to think about it. I have no optimism or positive thinking for that matter but i can still 'believe' and 'try' which no one is going to sue me for. Being computer addicted is not bad, and it is not good, although it doesn't help that you are lazy because if you were wanting to get over it bad enough you would have already done something like gone on a computer Ramadan and see how long you can last, eventually you can break the habit and turn it into something like an hour here and and hour there. Laziness is just a form of pure wastefulness, although you obviously wouldn't care, if you think about it here is the negative side since you have no optimism, being lazy causes others to view your form of laziness as rebellion, because of this you can set a bad example for your peers by making others believe that all people your age are the same way and thus causing the rest of us to look bad and have to deal with your laziness. obviously if you can get on the computer and move the mouse and type all you typed, you are not lazy. You are just stubborn to helping others around the house doing things that you feel are not your responsibility. Well, life is tough, deal with it and just do what you are told until you move out of the house or something. There is no need to try and avoid something that in reality doesn't take much effort to do and in the end makes you realize that you can use those mindless tasks to help you overcome your computer addiction and laziness at the same time.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Think of it as their fault and not yours, you are someone who high intelligence, some ill-qualities but nothing too serious and the only thing about you people might be worried about is thinking that getting to know you is to much of a hassle. If you were to be able to talk with girls (not about pessimistic things obviously) and let them get to know you a bit, i have the same problem where since i wear all black, a black jacket and black sunglasses (in or outside) and black hit-man style gloves with a stern Secret Service face people assume i am some 'soon to be next dictator' kinda guy, especially when i rant about political issues and make everyone just look at me weird and whisper like i am deaf. But all the friends i have, girls included like be because they got past my outer self and went into me more, sure i have qualities like yours, and some even further and harder to like but there is always a good quality in a person, i know that no one human is made of complete bad qualities, even Hitler had his ups, as small as they were.

Don't think about how much your life sucks and try to believe that you are the apple that fell further from the tree and your failure problem that your family has might end with you, you have the power over your own destiny and what has happened has pasted and cannot be changed, just think about what you can do to make your future better and it will, the only reason people fail is because we have the mindset to believe there is no other way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.