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D&D Arena: Brutal Bastards, Beegraks and von Brandt
House Rules:
CAST OF CHARACTERS ![]() Cyrus Von Brandt A half-elf storm sorcerer played by Pangalin. Slum boy Cyrus Von Brandt stumbled upon his arcane powers after a few lessons with an old wizard. Aiming to use his new- found powers for personal gain, Cyrus assembled an adventuring party. A dispute over the equitable distribution of treasure led Cyrus to slaughter his partners. Now a marked man, Von Brandt is relentlessly pursued by bounty hunters. The wily half-elf not only eluded the mercenaries, he carved a bloody swath through Faerun with a series of more failed partnerships and a little freelance assassination on the side. Von Brandt was eventually captured, but was ironically charged with tomb robbing - the only charge that would stick. He now fights in the arena, hoping to buy back his freedom while slowly accumulating funds from his share of the gambling till. And now, Von Brandt is trapped in an underground dungeon of sorts, fighting for his life alongside an execrable dragonborn paladin. One who has taken a liking to him, much to the macho half-elf's chagrin... Jam it back in, in the dark.
Last edited by Zergrinch; Apr 4, 2011 at 10:52 PM.
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Come one, come all, to a new installment of Mortal Combat Arena! If you are here for the first time, I guarantee you're in for a real treat!
Yes, friends. Tonight, you shall see the unbridled ferocity of battle as you have never seen before. Mercenaries, adventurers, indentured slaves... all are welcome to stand equal in the ring, to battle it out for gold, glory, girls, and perhaps their own freedom! And before you ask, pay no attention to the rubble you see at the middle of the ring. Just a minor accident from last night, courtesy of an overenthusiastic sorceror (who, incidentally, will be returning tonight for an encore). You'll find that our seats here are elevated enough to see past the obstacle. Of course, our gladiators will have to be more careful in aiming through the rocks, or stepping into the pile. But that's all part of the entertainment, folks! One more thing, before we introduce the cast for tonight's show. All combatants are to remain within the ring at all times. If both their feet are outside of it, you have my blessing to express your displeasure in any way you want. Rotten fruit is available from our concessionaires for two copper pieces. A few of those ought to catch our errant gladiator's attention, no? Now, without further ado, let me introduce our first team! A tomb raider by trade, this half-elf sorceror's robbed one too many graves, and is now here serving the rest of his sentence.... the scoundrel Cyrus voooooooooon Braaaaaaaaaaaandt!!! His new partner tonight (after yesterday's unfortunate incident with the rubble) is a new face. A self-professed evil paladin, bane of do-gooders everywhere, and the meanest dragonborn you can ever find.... the savage Smothaaaaaaaas Beeeeeeeegraaaaaaks!!! Gentlemen, before we start, why don't you introduce yourself to our audience today? Terrain considerations: Rubble is difficult terrain and provides cover. Stepping outside the ring will make the audience pelt the offender, making it grant combat advantage. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Ha. Uh... Okay. Let's hear it again, boys and girls, for Bigraks and Von Brandt! You'd be hard-pressed to find two more slimy bastards from this plane! What's that? You'd rather boo them instead? That'll do! Let's hear some boos! Pucker up, lips in the form of your most throaty orgasmic oooh, hands over the mouth. BOOOOO! Now that that's over with, what unfortunate souls will they be fighting against tonight? On the other corner, the infamous scourge of our fair City of Splendor. Woe betide any traveling caravan ambushed by their ilk. I give you, the infamous Bugbear Bandits!!! And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! The assassin's on the move. He's taking out his crossbow, applying some sort of... ointment? He fires at the unarmored target. Oh, that's got to hurt, folks. Wow, I think he's already bleeding out, talk about glass cannons. Larry here's telling us the assassin applied some scorpion venom onto those bolts. Nasty stuff, but doesn't seem to have affected Von Brandt some! Double Attack vs. Von Brandt. With crossbow, +12 vs. AC. Both hit - 28 damage to Von Brandt. Bloodied. Scorpion Venom: +10 vs. Fortitude. Miss. Defenses: Bugbear Assassin: AC 21 Fort 21 Ref 20 Will 18 Bugbear Skinners: AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 20 Will 18 Von Brandt (20), Bugbear Skinners (19), Beegraks (12), Bugbear Assassin (26)This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
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Assassin slowed 1 round. Oh look, his friends aren't too happy. They're charging towards him! Are those two... insulting him? One's moving in... ah, a flanking maneuver. Looks like Von Brandt didn't take the mockery too well - he's taking a step back, but the bugbear's ready for him. He's still insulting Von Brandt, but it's just a cover for his sickle attack! Horrifying Mockery: minor, +10 vs Will; push target 1 and shift 3 if successful. Mocking Rend: +10 vs anything (I choose Reflex). 6 damage to Von Brandt, plus 5 ongoing (save ends). The assassin's barking out orders. The other two are holding back for now. Maybe they want to see what Beegraks is capable of! You're up next, big guy. Beegraks (+1 x 0), Bugbear Assassin, Von Brandt (+1 x 1), Bugbear SkinnersI am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
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Von Brandt regains 21 HP. Beegraks spends a healing surge. And here's the follow-up. He misses both! Now he's on the move. Oh, careless, careless! One of the skinners got him while he's distracted. There's the blowback with the flail - another miss! 6 damage to Beegraks. Beegraks is angry now. He's never missed so much. He's bringing the flail down on... oh! He's completely crushed the skull. I've never seen so much brutality here, folks! But look at Von Brandt. He's been revitalized by Beegraks' savagery. He even looks good as new! Minion B dies. Cyrus regains 25 HP. The Assassin's just watched one of his acolytes die. He's not too happy here. He's hobbling forward now, taking something out of his pocket - a vial of some kind. He's throwing it at Beegraks, but he dodges it easy. Now the ground's sizzling. I wonder what that was? Von Brandt (+1 x 1), Bugbear Skinners, Beegraks (+1 x 1), Bugbear AssassinHow ya doing, buddy? |
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5 damage to Von Brandt. Makes saving throw. The last skinner's moving in. Oh, is Beegraks ever in trouble. They're double-teaming him now. Wow, he takes two hits. What agility, folks. Incredible! But that's got to sting for a while. 21 damage to Beegraks. 5 ongoing damage, save ends. What's he going to do now? Beegraks (+1 x 1), Bugbear Assassin, Von Brandt (+1 x 2), Bugbear SkinnersWhat kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
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He's dropping the crossbow now, moving into melee. What's that he's applying on that longsword? Another round of Scorpion venom? No, I've been told it's blood from a ghoul. How chilling! Is that even possible? Do ghouls bleed? Aha! He's circling Von Brandt now, two attacks on the sorcerer. Von Brandt gets hit, and again. Looks like that ghoul blood's not affecting him though! 21 damage to Von Brandt. Ghoul Blood: +10 vs Fortitude. Miss due to concealment. Please ignore the name of that object. Von Brandt (+1 x 2), Bugbear Skinners, Beegraks (+1 x 2), Bugbear AssassinFELIPE NO |
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Terrain Considerations. Entering squares where glass is present will cause a creature to slip and fall prone. DC 17 Acrobatics to keep your balance and remain standing and/or keep moving. Are those... skinners laughing? Seems to have hurt the feelings of poor Cyrus! He's staggering back, probably in shame! C's Horrifying Mockery is all used up, so no pushin' Beegraks. Please ignore that roll. Also, D is dead. It's all C. Apologies. What coordination, folks! The skinners are flanking one after the another, as if in a well-practiced dance! Amazing, this is what the Bugbear Bandits are capable of! ... Maybe they should've stuck to just walking. Both attacks miss. Beegraks (+1 x 2), Bugbear Assassin, Von Brandt (+1 x 3), Bugbear Skinners,What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
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Oh, he's not giving up. He's flanking Von Brandt with his last partner now. He probably won't last much longer though - that stench did a number on him. That's the spirit! He's applying another substance to that sword of his. That doesn't look like scorpion venom or ghoul blood... Assassin is bloodied. Mindfire Poison: +10 vs. Will. Target blinded (save ends). Finally, a hit yay. What's this? I could've sworn the bugbear attacked Von Brandt. Why is blood spurting from Beegraks? Come to think of it, why's the assassin reeling from pain? 6 necrotic damage due to divine sanction. (I am uncertain whether Martyr's Blessing negates this, but since divine sanction specifies "attack" and Martyr's Blessing specifies "hit", I'm thinking 'no.' Deni?) Martyr's Blessing activates. 36 damage to Beegraks (would have k.o.ed Von Brandt). Bloodied and blinded (save ends). Von Brandt (+1 x 3), Bugbear Skinners, Beegraks (+1 x 3), Bugbear AssassinJam it back in, in the dark. |
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6 damage to Von Brandt. Bloodied. Oh my stars and garters, one bugbear left! And he doesn't look so good. Beegraks (+1 x 3), Bugbear Assassin, Von Brandt (+1 x 4)Most amazing jew boots |
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... Okay folks, he's just standing there. Doing nothing. The bugbear's on his last legs. He's getting up - looks wobbly on his feet. Applying that venom again. Ooh, that's got to sting Von Brandt a ltitle! Divine Sanction expires. 10 damage to Von Brandt. Slowed; 5 ongoing damage (save ends both). Von Brandt (+1 x 4), Beegraks (+1 x 4), Bugbear AssassinMost amazing jew boots |
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Aaaand that's a wrap folks, Von Brandt's incapaci---- hey hold it right there Beegraks! Oh great, bugbear's down and he still wallops it with a hammer. What am I going to tell the Guard. Let's hope Nug's still alive. Cleric!
------- Looks like our Dastardly Duo's a keeper, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, here's our conquering her-protagonists! Here's the prize for your victory! I'm not sure what these gauntlets are, but I'm sure you'll find a use for these 72 gold pieces! While we clean up the mess, let's hear what Cyrus and Smothas have to say about their victory! (Beegraks is gonna love the next fight. It's totally a blast from the past!) Congratulations, gentlemen! Cyrus, how did you like fighting alongside the Smotherer Bandit? Is it true that being groped by him leads to... good things? And Beegraks. People here are asking, since when does a Zehir worshipper willingly sacrifice themselves for another's sake? Enforced short rest. 10 minutes. I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Mr. Dragon, what have you to say to Beegraks before we start? Prepare yourself for oblivion, foul dragonborn! I have come to punish you for your crimes against the dragonkin!Well said! Well, I don't know what he just said, but Beegraks seems to understand! Before things get out of hand, let's have our force field in place. Wizard? With all those poison and ice-breathing dragons around, who knows what else is going to hit the audience? That's more like it, folks. Now it's a little less dangerous for us all! Moving into the space occupied by the force field inflicts 3 force damage. Now without further ado, let us start Round 2! The kobolds are moving... oh! Close call with the glass ol' Von Brandt thundered up! They can't reach him to attack. Looks like they're bracing themselves for attack! Total Defense. Beegraks (+1 x4), Young Blizzard Dragon, Von Brandt (+1 x4), Dragonkin ChampionsAdditional Spam: Defenses: Dragon: AC 21 Fort 19 Ref 20 Will 18 Dragonkin: AC 22 Fort 19 Ref 18 Will 17 How ya doing, buddy?
Last edited by Zergrinch; Oct 1, 2010 at 07:10 PM.
Reason: This member got a little too post happy.
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Knowledge Check Results:
Beegraks charges the closest kobold and oh! It's already down! That's some grade A groping, folks! That doesn't seem to sit well with our dragon. He's flying now, heading directly towards Beeg-- wait, he's a she. Oh, I'm really sorry, ma'am. She's roaring now, and... talking to Von Brandt? This isn't your fight, half-elf. Stay out of this and I'll let you live. Attack us at your own peril.Did you see that? A cold blast of wind's surrounding her, extending fifteen feet all around. Wow, I wouldn't be caught dead in that arena, no sirree. She's raking Beegraks all over with claws and teeth. Oh man, that's got to hurt! Bite: +12 vs AC. Immobilized till dragon's next turn ends if hit. Claw: +12 vs AC. Target slid by 2 squares if hit. 10 cold damage to Beegraks; slid to N8 Aura increases to 3 squares (deals no damage). Von Brandt (+1 x4), Dragonkin Champions, Beegraks (+1 x5), Young Blizzard DragonnessWhat kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
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Lightning Strike against Minion A is not possible, because there's no line of effect due to cover. Let's be charitable this once and say you actually meant to sizzle D instead ![]() Shameful and cowardly tactics, little man. Very well, on your head be it.Von Brandt's got the dragon fuming mad now. I'd be mad too - surrendering like that, pretending to attack Beegraks, and slaughtering two of her champions that quickly! The last champion's moving in. Circling around and flanking Beegraks with his dragon mistress. Beegraks will be nursing that stab wound for a while! 8 lightning damage to Beegraks. Beegraks (+1 x5), Young Blizzard Dragonness, Von Brandt (+1 x2), Dragonkin ChampionFELIPE NO |
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2 corpses in N7. Difficult terrain. Chill Rebuke. 11 vs Fort. Slowed on hit. 14 cold damage to Beegraks. Slowed (save ends). Beegraks ends turn in aura; slid to L9. She's mad. She's really angry now. Folks, you do not want to piss off a dragon! She's pouring on the cold now, it's extending twenty-five feet from her. Von Brandt is just out of range, but he's sure to feel the chill from there. She has Beegraks now. She's gonna bite him in the... oh man! Let's just say Smothas has just fallen out of the gene pool! Let's see how you like it when someone feasts on your reproductive organs!8 cold damage; immobilized until end of dragon's next turn. Bloodied. She's not done yet, not by a long shot. Here comes the claws. I can't watch. Oh, it bounces off Beegrak's armor. His kidneys are safe for now! And as for you, little man...She's ignoring Beegraks for now. He swings at her... but she's too fast. She's barreling towards Cyrus now. Uh oh. Now that's what I'm talking about! Never, ever pick on someone bigger than you. Words to live by, eh Cyrus? Action Point. Double Attack against Cyrus (reach 2). 25 cold damage, bloodied. Immobilized until dragon's next turn ends, and slid to M16 (pow! 3 force damage) and then M15. 6 necrotic damage to Dragon (Divine Challenge). Von Brandt (+1 x2), Beegraks (+1 x6), Young Blizzard DragonnessWhat, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
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Augh! My eyes! Where are you, you little...Oh look, Beegraks is as good as new, did his ... just grew back on? Fascinating. The dragon's looking confused, looking around for Von Brandt. It's a downright nasty blizzard down there folks, and Beegraks' jibes about her weight is only fueling that... Rising Winds: close burst 5 against enemies, +10 vs Fortitude. 9 cold damage to Von Brandt. Slowed and blinded (save ends both). Zing! 6 necrotic damage to dragon. Meddling shield! Aura resets to 1. Freezing Winds: Beegraks slid to L10, Von Brandt slid to N14. Wow! Did you see that?!! She's just unleashed all that wind around the Arena! Looks like Von Brandt's barely holding on. Beegraks doesn't seem affected at all - he must've felt this before. What did you just call me, you insufferable aaahhh!...Von Brandt's opportunity attack hits for 10 damage. Well, she's forgotten all about Von Brandt, but he hasn't forgotten her yet! Is she just shaking it off? She's launching towards him now, jaws aimed at Beegraks'... oh man. Critical hit! 2d8+3 = 19 cold damage, immobilized until dragon's next turn ends. I guess Beegraks is officially an "it" now. Again. Von Brandt (+1 x2), Beegraks (+1 x6), Young Blizzard DragonnessJam it back in, in the dark. |
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I--I'm bleeding...? Impossible. I can't die here. But... Hey you! M-me? Ma'am? I don't like this shield dome. Pink's not my type. Take it down at once!Ma'am. With all due respect, it's for the safety of our-- RIGHT NOW!!!! Y-yes Ma'am. I'll get our security wizards right on it Ma'am. Hey you! You heard what she said! I don't care if it takes time, she wants it down yesterday! Well folks, I'm not sure what that's all about. It seems Beegraks has drawn blood at last. Question is, what's going to happen to him now? There you are, little man. Three hundred pieces? Well now, I like the way you think. Let's see now, you accursed scion of Tiamat. Here's piece number ONE! Looks like Beegraks is keeping his foot. But she's carving a few chunks out of his face! 15 damage to Beegraks. Immobilized no more. The wind's sure picking up again, isn't it? Let's hope she can control it well enough for our safety. Von Brandt (+1 x3), Beegraks (+1 x7), Young Blizzard DragonnessThere's nowhere I can't reach. |
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Ok whoops, there's a path that goes to where you're dragging the dragon which doesn't require an Acrobatics Check to not slip and slide. Carry on.
This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
I-I shall return!Looks like our intrepid duo survives this round! We'll have to clear the arena of corpses. Here's some cookies for you two while you wait for our cleaning crew to finish! Zap it, boys! 3 free heals equal to your surge value, distributed as you please. Well, it looks like our dragon coughed up a little something in her rush to escape. You can have this pair of partially-digested soggy boots . Well, I wouldn't want it, but there's no accounting for taste, right? Oh, and the prize for winning this tier is... 344 GP! Congratulations! I won't be tracking gold individually. Right now the party has 810 GP, including the spoils here. Enforced short rest. Do whatever, move wherever. How ya doing, buddy? |
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Folks, you're in for a real treat, a real treat. The next round is--- What the hell? Who let those Holy Worms out?!! Shield dome, now! ... Well, uh. Ladies and gentlemen. That's why magic can't be rushed. Worst aim ever (please pardon the vomit-colored shield dome). Not to worry, you're safe from the worms. All right, all right. Force fields and shield domes are different. Shut up. Well, Beegraks and Von Brandt? Looks like you've just been drafted as our exterminators. Try to finish them off quickly, eh? The right worm's slithering towards Beegraks... Oh, it slipped on the glass left by Von Brandt's lightning strikes! Is it still going to attack Beegraks while upside down? Wow! Did you see it move? I didn't. That was some shift, folks! It's biting Beegraks all over. Oh, the other worm's here too - flanking Beegraks, but he's far too quick! Rake - +12 vs AC, shift 2 before or after attack. 8 radiant damage to Beegraks. Ongoing 5 radiant damage (save ends). Beegraks (+1 x8), Von Brandt (+1 x4), Holy WormsDefenses: AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 20 Will 19. I was speaking idiomatically. |
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I mean, we had to capture a few bone worms, subject them to a few 'experiments'. A Raise Dead or so. Completely against their necrotic undead nature, but they manage. The upside is they're now completely immune to thunder and lightning, while losing their previous immunity to poison. What can I say? Management wants a holy worm, management gets a holy worm. I wouldn't hit 'em with any necrotic attacks though. Who knows what's going to happen should they revert to form? Beegraks takes 5 radiant damage. Worm B took 22 necrotic damage from Beegraks. Uh... what did I just say? Some people just don't listen, sheesh. Don't say I didn't warn you! Von Brandt's up next. He's knocking them all down! Not just that, he's tossing something nasty at... Whirlwind inflicts 11 damage to both; knocked prone. Thunder Bomb does no damage, but slows both worms. Oh, looks like the thunder immunity's holding. They're getting back on their feet, counterattacking poor Smothas! 14 radiant damage to Beegraks. Is it my imagination, or are these things a little bigger? Beegraks (+1 x9), Von Brandt (+1 x5), Holy WormsWhat kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
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Oh. Oh! Ah, okay. Folks, we think Von Brandt is now trying to mind control the Holy Worms. It doesn't seem to work though. Perhaps he should stick to sorcery. Or wizardry. Sorcerers and wizards, two sides of the same coin. Same difference. You know, I swear that worm to the north of Beegraks grew a little bit. If this keeps up, it'll be big enough to... Nah, not a good idea. You can't domesticate those mindless things. They'd sooner eat you than obey you. Case in point, look what's happening to Beegraks! 5 radiant damage to Beegraks at beginning of his turn (ended by save). 33 radiant damage to Beegraks, bloodied.. 5 ongoing radiant damage (save ends). Beegraks (+1 x1), Von Brandt (+1 x6), Holy WormsHow ya doing, buddy?
Last edited by Zergrinch; Oct 7, 2010 at 11:46 AM.
Reason: And the Edit Timestamp is
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Wow, what was that? Whatever it was, you did a number on that worm. It's... flinching? No, it's changing colors? Did you just break the conditioning on that worm? It's coming out of your winnings, Von Brandt. Worm B looks confused. Bloodied. Beegraks is... he's following in Von Brandt's footsteps! Oh, he's going to take a nasty spill on that... what? So that's what the boots do! I wonder why Von Brandt didn't just glass up the whole arena -- never mind. It's just as well. The other worm's attacking Beegraks. It doesn't seem to notice its partner is missing from the fracas! 12 damage to Beegraks. 5 radiant ongoing again. Beegraks (+1 x2), Von Brandt (+1 x7), Holy WormWhat, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
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5 ongoing damage to Beegraks; bloodied.
Pow! Wham! Look at that! They're whittling the worm down, just like that. Oooh, bright lights. That worm's just exploded... Oh man, all those experimentation down the drain. Ongoing radiant damage ends. Looks like they've calmed down. What's the other worm doing? Aaaah! It's attacking the barrier! 5 force damage to B. What are you waiting for? Finish them! They're useless to us now! And don't think we'll give them to you as pets or anything! We have a strict no pet policy in this arena! kekekekeke Beegraks (+1 x3), Von Brandt (+1 x7), Bone WormsMost amazing jew boots |
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| Tags |
| arena, dungeons and dragons, evil pcs, suicidal sorcerers |
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