The US$54 Million Pants

It seems this was a tad too frivolous, even for U.S. standards. Poor Judge Roy Pearson won't be getting compensation for his $67 million (reduced to only $54 million by him out of pity) pair of pants anytime soon.

Two years ago, he took a pair of suit trousers to Custom Cleaners to have them altered for $10.50 (he was getting on the chubby side). Guess what, the Korean owners "willfully and maliciously" mislaid his pants. Three days later, they found it, but it wasn't his, he said. No, he wanted $1,150 for a new suit!

When the Chungs denied his most reasonable request, why, it's court time for those gooks! Gotta show these immigrants who wears the pants in this country, yessirree!

And so, he demanded compensation. Boy, did he want compensation. Compensation he won't be getting anymore, unless he appeals successfully, of course:

1. Custom Cleaners displayed "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service" signs, which in his experience proved to be so dishonest as bordering on outright fraud (he wasn't satisfied and the pants weren't done in one day). To protect the welfare of Washington D.C. consumers, those suckers have to cough up $1,500 per day per partner per violation. At twelve instances of fraud with three defendants and 1,200 days, well... you're speaking of a cool $64.8 million!
2. Actual Damages suffered by him, multipled by three - $2,950,020:
   • Loss of his pants resulted in quite a bit of emotional distress, some $500,000 worth of it.
   • He obviously spent a lot of time pursuing the case, and needed $465,390 as just compensation
   • Cost of litigation: $1,500
   • Carless Roy has to rent a car every weekend for the next ten years to drop his remaining pants at another dry cleaner. It added up to some $15,000, not some chump change!
   • Cost of buying a new suit, $1,450.
3. Punitive damages, computed at $400,000
4. Attorney's Fees - as an administrative law judge in Washington D.C., he's entitled $390-$425 per hour, which at 1,300 hours working on the case amounted to $542,000 as adequate compensation of his time.
5. Common law damages, totalling $1,549,500 to deter those customizers from pulling off the same shtick in the future:
   • Fraud damage, $1,500
   • Cost of renting a car for 10 years, $15,000
   • Emotional damages, $500,000
   • Multiply all of the above by three.

Reading: The Verdict | Background Reading | Emotional Day in Court

So, thoughts? Think Judge Judith Bartnoff was too lenient on those Koreans? Was Roy Pearson too greedy? And how does this tale reflect on America's judicial system, especially considering the plaintiff is a judge?

Jam it back in, in the dark.