Sex: Take It Or Leave It

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Regardless of the cause, how many of you could knowingly enter into a serious, long-term relationship with someone like that?

I'm one of those people actually. I'm currently in a relationship for almost two years with a woman who I love more than anything else, but during that entire time frame we've only had sex about 4 times and its been 9 months since me and my gf had an intimate moment.

She just tells me she has no sex drive whatsoever, and she tells me its the pill that kills her sex drive. I really don't know how accurate a statement like that can be. I still love her nonetheless, so I'm willing to sacrifice a sex/intimate life if it means making her happy. Before her, I was only in one other relationshsip and that lasted 11 months but there was no sex involved with that either. Every other guy she has ever been with, has been nothing but a constant dissappointment to her because they couldn't respect the person she is. It seems I've been the only person to give her the happiness she really wanted.

I would think of myself, as someone with an average sex drive, and it does get frustrating to know that I can never have that kind of moment with her. It just comes from my lack of self confidence, and always afraid to ask for anything because I put hers and everyone elses needs before my own. She feels bad because she can't give me that satisfaction, and I try to understand and respect that about her.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

This question is to Angel of Light: If you had known then what you know now about your girlfriend, would you have gotten involved with her? Just curious.

I still would, without a doubt. I can agree with what a lot of people say on this forum, that sex does indeed play an important part in a dedicated relationship because its showing the person how much you love them in a pysical and spiritual way. To me the most important aspects of a relationship is respect and understanding.

Would I like sex and intimacy to occur more often in the relationship I am in now; of course I would. Sex is probably one of the best feelings in the world, and even though I have had sex with my gf before, I probably haven't even come close to enjoying the full extent of it and more than likely I never will with the woman I'm with now.

I'm with someone who I practically have everything in common with in terms of our hobbies and interests and morals/attitudes toward modern society. We even hate and despise the same things. I wouldn't give all of that up for the best sex in the world.

Its not like she is not giving me any sex for her to punish me, its just her dealing with her own personal demons and her own low sex drive. I think I owe it to her as a respectful, understanding, and above anything else loving bf to give her patience and respect her needs, and her thoughts toward the subject of sex.

Deep down, different people have different needs in a relationship and there is absolutely nothing wrong with living your life how you want to live it, and if having a great sex life is one of those things you need in a relationship then its no better or no worse then those people who don't want a sex life in their relationship.

I just made a choice, a long time ago, that I would always live my life for the good of everyone else(especially the people that are important to me) and never for myself. I know its a poor attitude to have, and my friends and my family constantly remind me of that all the time because they constantly are trying to pursuade me to break up with her all the time. I gurantee that if I ended this relationship, 9 chances out of 10 my next gf would have a higher sex drive then the woman I'm with now. In my eyes its not worth the sacrifice with the strong emotional connection I have with her.

There's nowhere I can't reach.