Dating criteria

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

1.) Intelligence.

The priority. I will not compromise on this one. A person has got to be able to discuss things on a level which goes deeper than the weather. Nothing annoys me more than stupidity.

2.) Maturity.

I've about had it with men who sit around, do nothing, and expect the world to come to them. At this point in my life, I don't want anyone in my life who incessantly watches anime, hasn't got a job, is in a band (don't ask), drinks or smokes excessively, or has no priorities as far as money is concerned.

3.) Sense of identity.

I don't like people who are confused about who they are, or have very little sense of self. I expect my mate of choice to know what they like, have opinions on things, and stands up for what they believe in.

Looks don't really factor in to this formula. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again: what's attractive to me is in the head, not in the body. I don't expect everyone to agree with that, but it's how I roll.

I like a particular sense of intrigue about my mate, too. I like it when I am surprised by a thought process, or when they can problem solve with me. I love problem solvers.

God I love you Sass, you hit the nail right on the head in terms of dating criteria for myself. To be honest I haven't had much success with dating since I've only dated two girls in my entire life and I'm marrying the second one.

I just have this thing, I can't ask random people out on a date. I have to know them for an extended period of time, and be their friend first, before it goes past that level.

To me I enjoy people who are intelligent and love to debate about various topics and such. I don't enjoy people who use their intelligence to think that they're better than everybody else. What makes the concept of intelligence especially when it comes to being with a significant other is the ability to disagree with one person's frame of mind but never disrespect them for it. I'm proud to say that the woman I'm marrying shares that same belief as much as I do.

In terms of maturity is absolutely a requirement, if you don't have a rough idea of what you want to do with your life and you expect things to fall in place for you than thats an automatic turn off. I love people who have drive in their lives, and know exactly what they want out of their life and how they're going to attain it.

In terms of sense of identity, I enjoy someone who has a great sense of comfort about themselves. They can be who they want to be, and not care what anybody else thinks. They're willing to live their life how they want to live it, and not afraid to be who they are. As long as you believe in not pushing someone into a direction they do not want to be in; in the first place then that shows how comfortable you are with yourself and how much you are willing to respect another person's choices.

I'd be lying if I didn't say looks didn't play some sort of a factor. I try not to be a shallow person, but if there isn't any physical attraction then its not going to work.

As silly as this sounds, you know when it comes to me dating somebody, this is one of the first questions that appears in my mind. That question is, Is this a person I can see myself being with for the rest of my life? I'll probably be highly criticized for asking myself that but I sure as hell don't want waste their time as much as it is wasting my own time. Maybe thats the one reason why I haven't dated many people in my life, and I might of missed out on a lot of great things but still the way I choose to be, pointed in the right direction of the most wonderful woman I could ask for.

I am picky when it comes to dating, because the only people I've ever dated are really close friends that I've known for a while, but even as sprotuicus has said, that being picky can yield to fewer results, given enough time and patience they'll always lead to the best results.

Jam it back in, in the dark.