Wildlife torture

Okay, so... Um, don't hate me for my youthful cruelty to animals.

My mom used to pay us kids 25 cents per bee; when the correct season came around, they would be swarming all around the house--big, fat ones--and making nests under the eaves. I made some good money.

My real claim to fame, though, is the time I microwaved a lizard... I thought it was cold, so I wrapped it in a napkin and popped it in the microwave. In retrospect, I shouldn't have used the "HIGH" setting. After about 3 seconds, I heard "POP... sizzle..."

RIP lizard.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

All right, I decided that I don't want to jump in the fight. Either whatshisface gets it or he doesn't; no yelling from me will do any good.

So, I wanted to mention a funny story.

My friend had this gross cat. Tumors and random grossness going on... They kinda wanted it to die. So one day, it finally does. His dad takes it into the back yard, digs a hole, starts shoveling on the dirt... And it meows. He gets it out and it lives for a couple of weeks longer. He totally almost buried that cat alive. Apparently he screamed when it meowed.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by MetheGelfling

I collected lizards and nailed them to a board through their heads when I was about 11 or 12.

For some reason, I thought that said "pigeons" and was absolutely 100% horrified. Then I figured out it said lizards (after a lot of careful thought and scrutiny), and I wasn't as repulsed. I've microwaved one, after all.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.