Your Best and Worst Concoctions

One night, during my a-levels, I actually decided to sit down and study. I made a pot of shitty instant coffee. I won't lie; I was slightly drunk at this stage (as was the case for most of my last year at school), so, naturally, I needed something that'd sober me up AND let me pull an all-nighter. I brewed a pot of shitty tea alongside my shitty coffee, with the really fucking foul intent of mixing them half-and-half. Still, the mixture (shitty as it already was) didn't satisfy me. I needed something more potent.

In the end, my scuffed cafeteria-purloined three-litre plastic jug contained the following bad idea:

Shitty tea (English Breakfast)
Shitty instant coffee
Two cans of shitty Red Bull knockoff energy drink
A handful of coca leaves
A shit-ton of icing sugar (it was the only sugar I had on hand)

Never. Again. I was awake for about two days following this, but good fucking lord it was hardly worth it. I only actually wound up drinking two cups of the stuff before pawing it off on my dipshit friends.

As for decent, sane, non-aberrative concoctions, I tooled around with what goes well with honey a few years ago. Turns out a slice of toast thickly spread with honey and marmite is actually more tasty than it has any right to be!

Jam it back in, in the dark.