Awkward things strangers have said to you

O fuck~

I went to San Francisco last December for an American Geophysical Union conference. There were a number of hotels that cost a fuck load. But my buddy and I found one about a mile away from the site where everything was going on. We got a room online and came over to stay there. It turns out that the mile or so walk was literally RIGHT ON THE EDGE of the "wrong side of town". I'm talking about a fuckload of homeless folks. Smelling like shit and hiding all around. Lots of embarassing folk.

But finally, after a week of that hellhole, we were headed home. It was 6am or so. My buddy had to handle the checking out. I dawdled around outside. Then he called me in. Now, this hotel wasn't an indoor type thing. Two levels with room entrances being on the outside, on walkways. The front desk was behind some magnetic security-locked door. I came in to help with some questions, then noticed something outside through the glass door I entered from.

Some homeless guy was near our bags, staring at them. I opened the door and stormed out, pointing at him and I said "back off. Get the fuck back."

This was a black fellow in ragged clothing... And his pants down and around his ankles. He was wearing some boxers and kinda staggered back as I walked outside. Now, I'm not a short, beanpole fellow. I'm big and I'm built. I literally scared the piss out of him with this outburst. He stumbled back and into a parked car, holding his hands up.

Bum: "Hey man. Be cool. I just... I just need a comb..."
Me: "And what makes you think that gives you the right to go near our bags, huh? Go away. I saw a police cruiser parked across the street. Don't make me go get it."
Bum: "Look, man... I just need a comb!"
Me: "NOW."

He backs up and takes a few steps away, acting like he is leaving. He stops and admires himself in the reflection of a nearby parked car's window. Preening his hair. Pants still down around his ankles. I stepped inside to my buddy Shane and told him we had best hurry up. As the freaks were showing up >_> The Hindu guy behind the counter leaned to the side and said "oh geez... Not him again."

Shane and I hurried it up and went out to the edge of the street. No cabs around. I told him I'd phone one. Now it was HIS turn to brave the hobo.

I came back a few moments later to find Shane alone.

Me: "What the... That's no fair. He left you alone and bugged me?"
Shane: "No. He approached me. Asked if he had something in his ear."
Me: "... You didn't look did you?"
Shane: "Oh hell no. I told him that the lady in Room ___ had a mirror and some q-tips. He didn't seem to question why I said that or the validity."

I turned around to see the now pantsless man climbing the stairs, headed along the walkway to the room Shane mentioned.

Me: "He lost his pants... Well. That's one obstacle that has been overcome."
Shane: "And here comes the cab. Let's hurry out of here."

The room he pointed him to was a room of a rather. Well... On and off tempers. There was a couple staying there. We came back one day to find one of the windows to the room broken. Heard the woman having her brains banged out one night, and a loud argument the next. I wonder how our friends hit it off... :'D

Jam it back in, in the dark.