Telemarketers - How do you deal with them?

Oh oh oh!

I remember one time I came up with a pretty nice response:

<Tele> Hi, we're doing a survey of consumer products ...blah blah blah...and we require a person over the age of 18 to answer these questions.

<Spatula (who is 21 at the time)> Ummm...I'm not 18 yet, but I'll see if my brother is here>

30 seconds later after some yelling at my "brother"

<Spatula> My brother is here but he's busy having sex with his girlfriend. Can he call you back?

<Tele> Err...ummm......no, thats alright thanks. Bye...(quickly hangs up)

You hear the funniest responses ever.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Also a thing I want to try (but I gotta think fast and speak fast like a valley girl)

<tele> Hi how are you doing today (ya know the small talk stuff)

Now they'd expect a "good", "fine", "whatever" response.

But instead you say,

<spatula> Oh I'm so glad you asked! Ya know the people in the world are so inconsiderate today that they don't care about feelings! I'm so glad you asked how I am! I've got this terrible headache, my kids are screaming, someones at my door, my baby is crying of a dirt diaper, my wife wants a divorce, my dog just died, I got a repremand from work today, my nails just broke but I'm a guy and my co-workers are questioning my sexuality...my doctor says I've got cancer....on and on and on until they hang up.

You just gotta be quick at BSing.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Also, if I'm by the computer some time and I have a cordless ready, HERE COME'S THE AH-NULD SOUNDBOARD!

"I'm gonna RAM my FIST (sup Rab) into UR STOMACH!"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.